Kelly
by EMSsis
Summary: A young girl with early tough life circumstances finds acceptances, love and finally a forever family with the CHP and the LA County Fire Department.
1. Heartbreak and Hope

**Heartbreak and Hope**

**Prelude:** "Kelly" is my childhood alter ego. Whereas I have lived a blest life with two strong parents and a mostly healthy body, Kelly is a girl who has struggled with her home life and lived through circumstances no child should ever have to go through, such as abandonment and witness to the effects of serious mental illness.

I've been writing Kelly stories since my childhood, and since I grew up in the era of CHiPs, I often wove those characters into my stories, often using them as Kelly's guardians. As I grew into adult, I left Kelly in the dark corners of my mind while I busied myself with life, school, and children.

Recently, Kelly has forced her way back into the center of my brain and demanded that I write more of her story. So, I dug out two of my old stories, have added Emergency characters to the CHiPs guys, and changed some details to make the series of stories flow together.

As you read the chapters, you will see that I refer to John as a Lakota Indian. In reality, Randy Mantooth, who plays John Gage in Emergency, is part Seminole, but I have taken creative license. Likewise, I have taken creative license with medical problems, Lakota customs and names. Based on my tiny bit of research, many Lakota customs already fit my conservative lifestyle, though I have adapted some of the customs and traditions to fit my story. Please do not reprove me for this; after all, I am a teacher, not a Medical or EMS professional or a Native American. I am studying more about Native American heritage as my children, through their father's line, are 1/8 Navajo Indian.

Based on many of my earlier, childish stories, most of which I will not share, Kelly is a young girl who, through an unfortunate set of life circumstances ends up being looked after by various members of the California Highway Patrol. After being placed with a loving foster mom, Kelly lived a happy life for about two years. With this story, a revamped story of my younger years, her life is turned upside down and inside out.

As with all the other stories on fanfiction: I don't own any of the Emergency! characters or any of the characters from CHiPs. They belong to those entities that created them for television. I just use them to enhance my creative writing. I make no money off of them.

**Heartbreak and Hope**

_Dear Journal,_

_I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm hiding right now, because my foster mom died today. Jon told me to stay put but I had to go away so I ran away and hid._

_I thought I had a good day today. I got a perfect math paper and won the spelling bee, but that doesn't matter anymore cuz I now don't live anywhere. I wish I wasn't me and could be someone like my friend Julie. She has two real parents, and a nice home. She doesn't really even know what a social worker is. I wish I didn't, because now my social worker is probably going to take me away and put me in yucky home._

_Kelly_

Kelly got off the bus two blocks from home. The 11-year-old girl was excited about the news she had to tell her foster mom. She had won the fifth-grade spelling bee, and had gotten a 100 percent on her math paper. She was also excited, because Sergeant Joe Getraer and his family were hosting a party this weekend. She skipped along, her feet doing a little dance here and there in time with a merry little tune running through her head. She didn't mind that she was a year behind in school; being older actually gave her an academic advantage.

As she neared her house, she slowed to a walk, and the tune went flat as she took in the scene. There was a cop car, a red fire department rescue squad, as well as an ambulance and three California Highway Patrol motorcycles, all parked around her house. Kelly broke into a run driven by the panic she felt.

Before she got to the front lawn, a hand reached out and grabbed her causing her to spin around. Instinctively, she tried to fight off the restraining arm, but it held tight. Through her panic, she heard a familiar voice. "Whoa, Kelly, slow down!" CHP officer and her friend Jon Baker was saying.

"Let me go, Jon! Let me go!" she screamed as she tried to fight off his hold.

"Kelly! Hold on! I have to talk to you! Now calm down!" Jon's voice was authoritative.

Kelly knew him well enough to understand the implied meaning in his voice. She stopped struggling, but the sobs continued to cause her to choke and gasp.

"Jon, what's going on? What happened?" Kelly asked fearfully.

Jon led her away from the scene toward his motor. He lifted her onto the seat, and turned her to face him.

"Kelly, Mrs. Smith had a heart attack this afternoon. The rescue guys from the fire department tried to do everything they could to save her, but they couldn't." Jon said as gently as he could as he watched her carefully. Knowing this was the second parent she lost in just two years, he was concerned.

Kelly was quiet, strangely void of emotion.

"Hey, Kelly, are you OK?" Jon asked.

"I was going to tell her I won the spelling bee." Kelly mumbled in a flat voice. She was in shock.

"Kelly, do you want me to have Bonnie take you to her house?" Jon asked.

Kelly shook her head ever so slightly. "Just leave me alone, Jon, OK."

"Sure Kelly. Just remember, I'm here if you need to talk to someone. And please, stay here," Jon said as he patted her shoulder and left.

Kelly sat watching the activity for a few minutes. Then she saw him. A young man, about eighteen years old wearing the blue uniform of a fireman appeared in the doorway. Through tear-swollen eyes, Kelly gazed at the most wonderful face she had ever seen. Dark, mature and compassionate with a whole lot of youthful fun mixed in; she mostly noticed his dark sensitive eyes. Somehow, in heart she just knew….then her eyes fell onto the sheet-draped form of her foster mother, she had to get away. She jumped off the bike and slipped away.

That young fireman carefully maneuvered the awkward stretcher down the steps and onto the sidewalk. As he did, he happened to notice a young girl sitting on one of the CHP motorcycles. Her tear-swollen eyes and face contorted with fear and betrayal struck his sensitive, compassionate heart. What he saw was not the grief of a child losing her mother; he saw a child who had lost everything her life. He could see that she already had had so little. It seemed her face was a reflection of his childhood. It was just a brief glance, but her face dove deep into young Johnny Gage's heart. He knew he would never forget her. He also knew he would probably never see her again.

His attention turned to the gurney as its wheel caught on a crack in the sidewalk. When he looked toward the motorcycle again, the girl was gone. It was almost as if she had never been there. He eased the gurney into the coroner's vehicle, and climbed into the red rescue truck with Tony, his partner. With one last look at the empty bike, Johnny drove off, his heart heavy for the girl who had lost so much. Somehow, he knew exactly how she had felt. He had lost his childhood at such a young age…. John shook his head and sighed, but said nothing.

"Kelly!" Ponch called a few minutes later. "Kelly! Hey, has anyone seen Kel?" he asked in general.

"I took her over by the motors just a couple minutes ago," Jon replied. "Isn't she there? I told her to stay put."

"No, I don't see her," Ponch said with just a hint of concern in his voice.

They called Sarj over, and told him what was going on. He pulled a few LAPD officers over and they all started looking for Kelly. They came up empty handed; they couldn't find her anywhere.

"I'm worried about her Jon," Ponch told his partner as they looked through some bushes. "I'm afraid she's going to get hurt."

"Jon, Frank," Joe called a bit later. "You need to call off your search. We have search and rescue people out looking for her now, and the juvenile department is in on it as well."

"OK, Sarj," Jon replied. "C'mon, we need to go," he told his frustrated partner.

That evening at home Joe and his wife Betty talked about Kelly. "You know, dear," Betty said quietly to her husband, "Many Patrol and Fire Department families are certified foster parents. Why, even we have a temporary license. If we can find Kelly, why don't we take her in as a foster child? Holly is fifteen and she would make a great role model for her. Tim's 13 and I'm sure he would defend her with his life. The kids already know each other."

Joe thought about it for a moment and then mused, "Well, I suppose we could, if she will agree to it."

The next morning, during the AM briefing, Getraer brought up Kelly's absence. "Kelly's foster mother died yesterday afternoon. Kelly has run off, and so far, no one has been able to find her. I've stayed in close contact with LASO, LAPD, Search and Rescue, and Juvenile. They are asking us to keep an eye out for her on the freeways. Look along obscured areas, and stop any vehicles with suspicious occupants. We have to find her, guys. Any questions? Let's go."

Later that day, Barry and Bonnie were on their lunch break at a fast food joint when commotion broke out at a house down the street. A couple teenage boys appeared to be harassing a girl who was trying to walk down the street.

"Bonnie," Barry said as he watched the events. "I think that's Kelly." Bonnie peered closer and agreed. Leaving their lunches, the two jumped into their cars. Heading in opposite directions, they were able to approach the tormentors from each end of the block.

From her place behind the wheel, Bonnie could see that Kelly was really in trouble. The boys were grabbing at her and getting rough. Their intentions were becoming all too clear and Kelly was in serious danger. She parked and got out of her car. Barry approached from the other side. At the same time, the three teenagers spotted the cops and attempted to run, but they didn't get very far, not with cops on either side of them.

Kelly slumped against a tree, relief in her face. She knew that if Barry and Bonnie hadn't shown up she would have been badly hurt. But she also knew that now she would be forced into another foster home; a prospect she did not like.

Barry secured the three unruly teenagers and loaded them into his car, Bonnie steered Kelly into her cruiser. Without a word to Kelly, Bonnie got in and headed toward the station. Barry made called into dispatch announcing he was bringing three juveniles in, and then Bonnie reported that she had one as well.

In short order Kelly found herself at the CHP station, sitting in Sergeant Getraer's office.

Joe was on the phone with Kelly's social worker. About twenty minutes later, he hung up, turned and smiled at the miserable girl.

"Well, Kelly, what do you say you come home and live with us? Your social worker has cleared Betty and me to be your permanent foster parents. And,…" Joe paused and smiled. "I'll try not to be as gruff as I seem, OK?"

Kelly couldn't help but smile a little.

Maybe her life would turn out OK after all.

_Mac,_

_I haven't written to you in a long time! I remember I started writing to you after my childhood therapist suggested I used writing as a way to release my frustration and anger. Don't worry, I'm not angry or frustrated right now, just ….well….concerned, I guess. I saw something today that stirred a lot of old memories and I guess that is what led me to you._

_Tony and I were called on a rescue, but the lady was already dead of a heart attack. There seemed to be a lot more cops there than usual; CHP guys. Was kinda weird. As we were bringing the body out, I saw a little girl sitting on one of the CHP bikes. She wasn't little, little, probably about ten or so, but she seemed so lost. She looked like she hadn't a thing left in this world; she had already lost everything, and this woman we were carrying out was the last little piece of hope draining from her life. I had to look down so I wouldn't trip, and when I looked back, she was gone – almost like she wasn't even there. Was she a vision of my past, or is she a vision of my future?_

_I have lost just one too many patients; the guy on the wire, this lady and that little girl. I know that little girl wasn't dead, but something died inside her today and I guess I do feel angry that I couldn't do more for her. I am going to look into doing that paramedic class. I can't let any more little kids lose their last piece of hope like that girl did; and like I almost did when I was her age._

_~John_

11-18


	2. Warrior Strong Heart

**Warrior Strong Heart**

_Dear Journal,_

_You know, I'm really lucky! Joe and Betty really treat me like family. I mean, Mrs. Smith did, too, but in a babysitting kind of way. With Joe and Betty, I am REALLY family. I almost kinda wish they would adopt me, but that might be asking too much._

_I was thinking about the day Mrs. Smith died. That day is such a blur, but one thing I remember very clearly was seeing a really cute fireman. He was carrying the stretcher that had Mrs. Smith on it. I wish I could see him again. He was cute, but he seemed really shy. I wish I knew his name. He seemed so strong and brave, but he looked like someone who would be really kind. He reminded me of a…an Indian warrior, that's it. Maybe someday I'll meet him, if he would just not be so shy! _

_Kelly_

Thirteen old Kelly reached around her best friend to grab her books from their shared locker. Because of teacher in-service meetings the next two days, she would have no school, so the teachers had assigned extra homework. She didn't mind. Kelly loved school and the sense of security it gave her. She swung the heavy backpack up over her shoulder, and slammed the door shut barely missing Julie's fingers in the process.

"Hey, watch it!" Julie squeaked, as she looked her fingers over making sure they really were OK.

"Oh, sorry," Kelly replied and smiled sheepishly at her friend before she started to walk toward the exit. "I guess I was thinking how lucky I am."

Julie quizzically looked at her friend. Lucky? Kelly, a foster child with a heart-breaking background, lucky? When she didn't reply, Kelly turned around. "C'mon, don't stand there looking at me like I'm crazy!"

Julie ran to catch up and realized that compared to what Kelly's background was, right now, she was indeed lucky.

Kelly got off the bus one block from the CHP station where her foster dad worked. Ever since Mrs. Smith died a year and a half ago, she has lived with Joe Getraer, a CHP officer and his family. Really though, all of the CHP officers were her family. And, they all had a role in her upbringing. Sarj was a stern but loving dad; Jon was the one who looked after her emotional welfare; Barry helped her with her projects, Ponch made sure she was physically and socially safe, and the others… well, they were all there to make sure she had no questions in her homework. Cindy was great with language, Jed was a whiz with math, Harlan could answer any science question, who knew Grossie understood Latin, and Maggie, at the front desk, knew history from the end to the beginning.

Opening the door to the front office, one quick glance told Kelly that the place was quiet. She slid under the counter rather than lifting it up and walking though, and dropped her backpack on the floor by the back wall. Maggie was on the phone so Kelly gave her a quick wave while she darted to the back where the officers were. Stepping into the break room, Kelly fished a quarter from her pocket and slid it into the vending machine. She pushed the button that released a big red apple for her to crunch on as she said hi to her friends and settled in to do her homework.

"Kelly," Sarj said by way of greeting as he walked into the break room.

Kelly turned and gave a quick wave. "Hi Sarj. I was just grabbing an apple before I start my homework. Maggie was on the phone when I came in."

Sarj chuckled a bit to himself. Kelly always tried to justify herself with him. Sometimes he wished he could hide those three stripes on his sleeves or pinned to his collar if it meant that Kelly would be more comfortable with him. He wondered how he could tell her that he and his wife, Betty, were thinking about adopting her.

"Kelly, hold up. I need to talk to you. Here," Joe patted the seat next to him as he sat down. Kelly sat.

"Let's see, you have two days off of school, right?" Joe asked.

Kelly nodded as she took a juicy bite of her apple.

"Hmm, that's what I thought." Joe acted as if he was trying to figure out what to do with her. "I thought you'd like to go to the beach when I get off work early tomorrow afternoon. Betty and I talked about it and thought it would be a great outing. Barry, Ponch, Jon and Grossie are invited to come, but not all of them are sure they can make it."

"But Kelly, it will mean you'll have to do a ride along with me tomorrow morning. Is that OK? Betty has to work tomorrow the senior center and we can't leave you at home." Sarj stated. Kelly liked to do ride-alongs, especially if they were with someone fun like Cindy or Barry.

Kelly nodded and mentally planned to take her assigned book report book, her journal and perhaps one of her favorite romance novels to read in the morning. She gave Sarj a smile, got up, went out to the front desk to grab her backpack.

As she bounced through the service door, she barely noticed who was in the waiting room. She picked up her backpack, and as she turned to head back, she caught a glimpse of a young man standing quite awkwardly at the front counter. Maggie was helping him.

Without realizing it, Kelly was staring at a face she had seen somewhere before. That face, that dark, mature and compassionate face with a whole lot of youthful fun mixed in, but this time those deep dark compassionate eyes were embarrassed and awkward. She watched as he filled out an application and then had his picture taken. She glanced over at the form Maggie had dropped into the processing file – a class C driver's license application. Why was this wonderful man so embarrassed about filling out a request for a class C license? She turned back to face him only to discover he was watching her. At the same time, the faces of both Kelly and this young man turned beat red as they turned away and hastily left through their respective doors. Where had she seen him before? That young man, boy really, who in her heart she knew…. Knew what?

Kelly had a very hard time studying that afternoon.

_Dear Journal,_

_I'm supposed to be studying right now, but I just had to write. Just now, in the front office I saw a really cute guy filling out an application for a class C license. I'm sure I've seen him before. Is he the fireman that took Mrs. Smith out of the house that day? He certainly looks like it. I saw him looking at me, and when he noticed me looking at him, he got red in the face and hurried out the door. I hope someday I'll get to know him. _

_Kelly_

Johnny could not get that girl out of his mind, and it bothered him. She was just a child, not more than twelve or thirteen years old. But there was something about her...her eyes. He knew he had seen those eyes before. Those intense light brown eyes that seemed so painfully knowledgeable, curious, perhaps even a bit uncertain. But, he thought he also saw a spark of mischief, yes mischief, but what else? It seemed that whoever that girl was, she knew his heart and his haunted past, and yet she accepted him. Did he see love in those eyes? Nah, she was just a girl, only twelve or thirteen years old. A girl that age wouldn't about know love, would she?

_Mac,_

_It's been a while since I've written; in fact, the last time I wrote it was about that sad little girl I saw when I carried her dead mom (I'm guessing) out of the house. I think I saw her today! I was a__t the CHP station filling out a class C application when that girl came through the back door. She picked up a backpack from the floor and then she caught me looking at her. I was so embarrassed! I think she was embarrassed too because I caught her looking at me. She was just as red as I was. She hurried back through the door before I could even say Hi to her. But then, I did leave in a hurry as well. I wish I knew more about her. I need to be careful, though. I am twenty years old, I'm a fireman, and a Lakota, and she's just a kid. I don't want to do anything that would ruin her honor or mine. I guess I just want to make sure she is safe, that someone loves her and keeps her secure._

_~John_

Roy could see that John was irritable and distracted. Yesterday was their day off and he knew that John had to apply for his class C driver's license so he could drive the squad. His Junior partner was twenty and could do some driving – that is if Roy would let him.

Roy shook his head. John was so young; he was not even nineteen when he joined the department. It didn't take him long to become a rescue man; and then a paramedic when this new field of emergency medicine started. John was…well…so mature in some ways – mature way beyond his years. Still off duty and around the station John was still very much a boy.

The senior paramedic was still getting to know his new partner. John was very talkative, but never about his past. That was forbidden territory and he had made it quite clear that he was NOT going to talk about that.

But today, John was irritable. Roy didn't get it. Usually if it was about a failed attempt to get a nurse's attention, Roy would have heard about it, so it couldn't be that. After thinking about, and rejecting, a list of possibilities, Roy shook his head. He could only hope that when the tones went off, whatever was distracting Johnny would stay behind so John could do the job he was so gifted to do.

Early Tuesday morning, Sarj and Kelly left the house for the office in his CHP cruiser. Kelly threw her beach bag into the trunk and climbed into the front seat with her books and journal. Snapping the seatbelt around her, she settled in for a long morning.

The first couple of hours were uneventful as Sarj stopped a couple speeders, and assisted a teenage boy in broken down van. The most exciting event up to that point was a woman in labor. But the ambulance arrived and got the woman and her frantic husband off to the hospital.

With about hour left of the Sarj's half-shift, Kelly read the last pages of her book report book. She sighed and looked up searching for road signs to get her bearing. Sarj glanced over when he heard her sigh.

"You doing OK?" he asked. "I'm sorry this is so boring for you."

Kelly was quick to assure him it was OK. "Sarj, really, this was a great way for me to get my book report book done. I'm not so distracted by other stuff. I can just sit here and read. I don't mind. Really. And I am looking forward to the beach."

Joe took a long look at this young girl before turning his eyes to the road. He spoke, his voice serious, almost uncertain. "Kelly, I…." However, before he could say anymore the radio squawked.

"S-4, MVA on PCH at Sulpovanna. Copy?" Joe reached for the microphone and replied. "S4, copy. ETA three minutes." In one swift motion, he replaced the microphone and flipped the switch for the lights and sirens. The car quickly and expertly accelerated as he guided it around the traffic gathering at the crash site.

Braking to a stop on the shoulder Sarj and Kelly gazed at a tangle mess of semi-truck, small car and a pickup truck before them. Both sighed, Sarj because he was sure this was a fatality, and Kelly because she knew it would be a long wait in the warm car. She wished she could get out and sit somewhere cool.

Sarj jumped out of the car and began directing traffic until his fellow officers pulled up. Grossie took over traffic control while Jon and Ponch assessed the victims. With another sigh, Kelly pulled her journal close to her, found an empty page, and pulled a pen from her purse. Clicking it open, she prepared to write. About what? She toyed with the pen a minute while she mentally wandered from one topic to the next.

Suddenly, the image of the young man filling out the application crossed her mind. Again, she saw those high cheekbones, the ruffled black hair, the youthful features, the slender frame, and those deep brown eyes. Her hand sketched the image on paper as she mentally gazed on that young man, whom she knew in her heart would… would what?

Suddenly she heard an awful grinding, creaking noise and looked up to see what was happening. Several fire engines and a paramedic rescue squad partially blocked her view, but she was still able to see a group of men in heavy turnout coats using the Jaws of Life to pull open the small wrecked car. Soon a man with a white stripe on his helmet waved his arm and the noise stopped. Two other men rushed forward carrying several pieces of equipment. Setting them down, the two blue-shirted men wiggled into the mess. One man was fair- skinned and had reddish brown hair. The other man was, was…Kelly gasped as her eyes focused on the other man. He had darker skin and beneath his helmet, she could see black ruffled hair! Instantly she her memories took her back to another time when she was standing outside and watched as two men in blue shirts carried a sheet-draped stretcher out of her house. Tears flooded her eyes as she now watched that young man work with his partner inside that wrecked car. As wet lines slowly dribbled down her face, Kelly was again amazed at his gentle touch, the compassion, and the maturity she saw amidst his youth.

A movement caught her eye. Sarj was approaching. Quickly she wiped her hands across her face, ridding herself of the tears, as she tried to hide behind her journal.

"Kelly, I think we can go. The other Sergeant is here with his guys, and the fire department's just about got everything taken care of. I'm sure you'll be happy to get out of this hot car."

Kelly didn't trust herself to speak, but she swallowed hard and said, "Um, good Sarj, I am getting really hungry."

Joe didn't miss the catch in Kelly's voice, and looked over at her, concerned. "Hey, you OK? I hope the scene back there wasn't too gruesome for you."

Kelly wiped her hand across her face again, leaving her journal exposed. Sarj saw the sketch of a young man and was amazed at the quality of this young girl's work. It was an exact likeness of one of those young paramedics he saw working the accident just now. He looked at Kelly again. She was unaware he saw her sketch.

With a sigh Kelly admitted, "I saw someone-thing that reminded me of Mrs. Smith." She put her hand down covering up the picture and then closed her journal completely. Joe wondered if the young paramedic was the source of Kelly's tears. An awkward silence filled the police car as Joe steered the cruiser away from the accident.

Unbeknownst to Kelly, John spotted her in the moving car as he turned away from closing the ambulance doors. He saw what appeared to be her wiping tears away from her face and the concerned look of the sergeant. His thoughts went back to that little girl on the CHP motorcycle. That little girl, and the one he saw both just now and yesterday; they've got to be the same person. But who is she? And why was he so concerned about her, in particular? John shook his head and headed back to the squad. There was something about her…

It was with great relief they finally pulled into Joe's driveway. Kelly quickly got out of the car, relieved to put some distance between her, the accident and that young paramedic, whoever he was.

_Dear Journal,_

_ I saw him today, that fireman with the dark hair and eyes. I'm sure he's the same man I saw in the front office yesterday. I was in Joe's cruiser while at an accident. I don't think he saw me because he was busy with a victim. But as I saw him work, I started to cry. He was so gentle and compassionate with his victim. It reminded me of the day Mrs. Smith died. I drew a picture of him, but seeing his picture is almost overwhelming. His eyes want to say so much to me that I can't understand it all._

_Kelly_

Kelly was back in school on Thursday. She tried hard to put that young paramedic out of her mind, and she almost did with the activities of a young sixth-grade girl. She participated in sleep-overs and study groups, giggled through her friends' boy crushes and gushed about the latest cute movie star. Always in the back of her mind, however, was that paramedic. Each time his image started to fade from her mind, she saw him – usually during one of her occasional ride-along's with Barry or Bonnie. One time she saw him while she was in the ER waiting room with Julie's mom, waiting for Julie to get her hand casted. She had broken it playing volleyball. That paramedic was busy bringing in a patient from the ambulance and didn't see her; she hoped. Before he came back out, the nurse wheeled Julie out to the waiting room and Kelly had left before seeing him again.

Usually months would be pass before she saw that young man again. Almost unconsciously, she began thinking of him by a name. He looked Indian with those high cheekbones and black hair. Warrior Strong Heart. It startled her when she realized that was how she thought of him, but somehow, it fit. She liked it.

Summer came. Kelly was caught up in throes of her secure childhood in Southern California. Warrior Strong Heart, became almost a dream, a "knight in shining armor" dream, and Kelly told no-one. She barely wrote anything about him in her journal. In fact, one time she almost tore her sketch of him out of her book, but couldn't quite do it. Instead, she used a small sliver of tape to secure that page to the page in front of it so she wouldn't have to see his picture.

Johnny lost track of how many times he drove past that CHP station. When he was with station 10, he drove by it every day on his way to work. Now that he was a paramedic with the new station 51, he had to travel nearly five miles out of his way to go past the CHP station. Time after time as he passed that building that so terrified and fascinated him, he knew that girl was the daughter of a police officer. Why else would she be there picking up a bag of schoolbooks from behind the counter. She was just a child, and he was a gentleman and a fireman /paramedic, not to mention a Lakota Native American. Yet, he continued his trek past the station, convincing himself that he was trying to make sure she was protected. He didn't want anything to hurt that little girl – that girl whose eyes seemed to tell him she had been hurt so badly already. He sighed and turned his vehicle back to his new station, his new partner and his new job.

_Mac,_

_I saw that girl again, a couple months ago. Roy, my new partner and I were working an MVA on PCH. The CHP was there directing traffic as usual. Roy and I had a couple victims including a little boy. As we were getting the mess cleaned up and the victims off to the hospital I saw one of the CHP cars leave, and she was it in it. She must have been there the whole time. She was in a sergeant's car; and as they pulled away, I wonder if she was crying, because it looked like she was trying to dry off tears. _

_ I suppose now that I'm with Roy and at Station 51, I had better stop making trips past that CHP station. If only I knew more about her…._

_~John_

13-20


	3. Hearts

**Hearts**

_Dear Journal,_

_ Have I lived with Joe and Betty for three years? Sometimes I really want to call them Mom and Dad because they have been so good to me. The troubles of my early childhood are just a distant nightmare, except for Warrior Strong Heart. We've seen each other a couple times when I've been on a ride along with Barry or Bonnie. He is so cute, but there is so much more to him than just his good looks. When he looks at me, which isn't very often, the poor guy is so shy, his eyes seem to speak right to my soul. I don't even really know his name, yet, I know he is concerned about me, and will do anything he can to protect me. I can't really tell you how I know this, but somehow, I know._

_ There's a new class being offered at school; its super advanced first aid class called First Responder. I think I'm going to take it. Wouldn't be weird if Warrior Strong Heart is teaching that class? I think I would just die!_

_ I'm tired. I haven't really felt the best the last couple of days. It seems I hurt all over and just want to sleep all the time. I've had very brief dizzy spells, too. Weird._

_ Kelly_

"DeSoto, Gage, I need to see you a minute," Cap called as the two walked into the kitchen.

"Sure, Cap what is it?" Johnny replied as he glanced over at his partner. The three walked into the captain's office. Captain Hank Stanley sat at his desk and pulled a folder toward him.

"Gentleman, I have a request here for two paramedics to teach an extra-curricular class in Advanced First Aid or… what do they call it…First Responder at Northfield High School." The captain glanced up at the men. "That school is in our territory which means it would have to be someone from this station. Of the six paramedics from our three shifts, I believe you two are best suited for the job. It is three days a week for two months. Each class lasts one hour. What do you say?"

Twenty-one year old Johnny was quick to reply, "Sure, sounds great. What do you think, Partner?" He nudged the typically quieter Roy.

"Yeah, I think we can do that. When do we start?"

Fourteen-year-old Kelly glanced at the announcement board by the office window as she hurried out of the school building for a day. Something caught her eye and made her turn and look again. "First Responder Class, one health credit. Learn how to be more than just a bystander should you come upon an accident." Kelly read the flyer over carefully, taking note of the dates and times. Quickly she thought over her own schedule and realized she could do the class. She went into the office to sign up. Three days a week for two months. That was doable. Besides, she figured, having this class will help her in many ways. Kelly quickly wrote her name down on the list and turned to join her best friend Julie as they left for home.

On the first day of class, Kelly walked into the familiar classroom and found a place to sit. She was tired and wondered if signing up for this class was a wise thing to do after all. With a sigh she positioned her books and back pack and then looked up at the front of the room. How she kept her gasp from being heard by those around her, she wasn't sure, but no one seemed to notice her suddenly white face and reddening cheeks. For there, standing in front of her was "her" "Warrior Strong Heart," a young, talk, dark paramedic that sometimes invaded her dreams and her mind.

Because she lived with a CHP officer, she would occasionally ride along in a patrol cruiser, and Kelly would see the paramedics at work when Barry, or Bonny or Joe, or whomever she is riding with was working the incident. This young fireman/paramedic had captured her heart when she first saw him when she was almost 11 years old, and now here he stood in front of her in this classroom. For a brief moment, she felt dizzy with excitement but then she had the most intense feelings of shyness she had ever had. How was she going to survive this class? She knew she was going to make a fool of herself in some way and that most dreadful thought tortured her.

She was so focused on that idea, that she missed the first part of the paramedic's introduction. Kelly struggled to pay attention to what Warrior Strong Heart was saying. "…Gage, and this is my partner Roy DeSoto. In this class, we will teach you how to assess and provide basic care for victims. You will also learn how to assist us paramedics when we do get to the scene…." Warrior Strong Heart kept talking about what all the class was going to do while Kelly again thought about how to avoid making a fool of herself. She didn't dare look him in the eye for fear she would die of embarrassment. Because she wouldn't look him, Kelly hadn't seen Johnny's gaze on her, nor did she see the slight tinge of red that crept up the side of his face. Where had he seen HER before? Surely, this couldn't be the same girl he saw at the CHP station, could it? But, this young lady certainly looked like her!

"Because we are going to do a lot of role playing, I think it would be good for Roy and me to go through the attendance so we know who each of you are," John said, keeping his eye on the other side of the room. "Let's start over here." He pointed to the boy closest to him, and one by the one the kids gave their names. Kelly wanted to hide, but she couldn't. All too soon, it was her turn. Looking past John, and with a very red face, she stated her name. "I'm Kelly." Her voice sounded too loud for her and she cringed at how she sounded; she thought sounded like a mouse – squeaky. But, no one laughed, so she hoped she was OK.

The hour passed quickly for Kelly. She received her study materials and homework. As the other students quickly left the room, she hung around, waiting for the two paramedics to notice her. Finally, Roy looked up.

"Uh, hi. Did you have a question?" Johnny looked around when he heard Roy speak. When he saw Kelly, he again blushed and busied himself with putting the class materials away. Let Roy deal with her, she was just a little girl, wasn't she?

"Uh, yes." Kelly had to think fast. "I really want to get the most out of this class. I'm not taking for a grade or anything like that, I'm taking it because it will help me in my…." She wasn't ready give out too much information about herself; "…my afterschool job. Is there anything extra that I can learn beyond this class? Or extra practice?" She wanted so desperately to glance into Warrior Strong Heart's eyes while at same time wishing she were a million miles away.

Roy pondered Kelly for just a second, trying to determine why she would ask this kind of question. Deciding she was sincere in her intentions, he replied, "Well, today was just the introduction. Why don't you study the material and write down any questions you have. We'll go over those in more detail later, OK?"

Kelly wasn't ready to go, yet. "What station did you say you were from?" Then she inwardly grimaced. She didn't want to use that lingo – not yet. But Roy and Johnny didn't seem to notice. She glanced at their nameplates, taking mental note of their names.

"51." Johnny managed to say without choking. He couldn't quite look her in the eye, but managed a little smile.

"Thank you." Kelly, not looking at Johnny, replied with a shy smile in return. She turned and quickly left the room.

As Roy and Johnny packed up their supplies and left the school building, Johnny was a bit flustered. "Roy, did you recognize that girl – the one that stayed after?" he asked his partner. Roy was non-plussed as he loaded the equipment into the back of the squad. "No. Should I have?" he asked.

"I don't know. It seems like I've seen her somewhere, but I'm not sure." Though Johnny knew very well where he had seen her before.

Johnny glanced up and saw Kelly climb into a car with a man behind the wheel. He assumed the man was her dad.

"Johnny, she's just a school kid. Don't go falling over some little girl." Roy glanced over at his partner with a degree of annoyance. Johnny didn't say anything more but he was troubled. He and that girl have encountered each other before. Somewhere in his gut or his mind, he knew ….what? What was his Spirit Guide trying to tell him?

Kelly, for her part kept her thoughts to herself. She got her books from her locker, grabbed her jacked and slammed her locker shut. As she walked out of the school, she saw Barry pull up. He was already off duty and in street clothes. She glanced down the parking lot and saw the two paramedics load their equipment into their truck. She pulled open the passenger door and climbed in.

"Barry, do you know those two paramedics over there?" Kelly asked almost hoping he didn't. Barry glanced in his rearview mirror, but the combination of the sun angle and the men getting into the truck kept him from seeing Gage's and DeSoto's faces.

"Sorry, I don't." Barry said, trying to keep the answer simple.

That evening, in her room, Kelly opened her journal and began to write.

_Dear Journal,_

_ I can't believe it! I'm so excited and so embarrassed at the same time! I started that new first aid class today and guess who's teaching it? Warrior Strong Heart! Well, actually, he has a name now; John R. Gage, Paramedic. He's from Station 51. I gasped when I saw him, and I'm surprised he didn't hear me. I am so afraid that I was going to make a fool of myself, but at least I managed to stay in my seat. I think John is just as shy as he appears to be. He can barely look at me, and lets his partner, Roy do most of the talking. Oh, but when we do manage to glance at each other, his eyes tell me so much! It is almost too much for me._

_The class is really interesting and I think I'll learn a lot. _

_I'm really tired, and my arm hurts a little bit._

_Kelly_

Before Kelly closed her journal, she turned back a couple pages and carefully peeled away the tiny bit of tape holding two pages together. Once free, the pages fell open and one revealed a quick but careful sketch of a handsome young man. Kelly lightly, lovingly traced her finger over the cheeks and hair drawn on the paper and sighed. "John R. Gage," she whispered. It seemed so simple, almost commonplace compared to Warrior Strong Heart. "John Gage," she whispered again. Then, quickly, almost embarrassingly she brought the paper to her lips and lightly kissed it. Snapping her journal shut, she shoved it under her pillow and turned to her books.

Over the next few classes, the two paramedics saw Kelly meant what she said. She was serious about this class and wanted to know more than what they were presenting. She always knew her material, and when it came time for demonstrations, they knew Kelly would always be right. Roy and Johnny were careful though to make sure all the students had a chance to participate. Kelly kept her extra questions for after class, and Johnny, especially was happy to answer her. Even Roy took an interest in helping Kelly learn all she could. But for all the time they spent with her, she was always a bit reserved, never offering much of her past or explaining why she was so interested in becoming a first responder.

The two paramedics did notice that Kelly rode home with a number of different adults, but she never explained why. Nor did she ever refer to her mom or dad.

Hey Mac

Yep, it's me again. It's been a crazy couple weeks. Roy and I started teaching a class at the local middle school – a first responder class. Guess who's in it? Yeah, that girl. At least I know her name now; it's Kelly. I think I'm being overrun with Kelly's; there's Chet, and Dr. Brackett and now this girl. But, really when I see her, I don't think of the other Kelly's, I think only about her. She seems to speak to me with her very soul. She is white, but her attitude and mannerisms seem so Lakota, so proper. But, I just about died when I saw her walk into my class. I think she did too. She has turned out to be our best student, however. She doesn't say much in class, but boy, she knows her stuff! She hangs around afterward, though and asks us a lot of questions. We don't mind answering them, though she mostly talks to Roy. I'm guessing she's about fourteen years old. I would love to get to know her better, but by law, she is just a child, and I am a fireman, Lakota and 21 years old.

~John

About three weeks later, there was a teacher-in-service day, giving the kids a day off from school. The following day would begin mid-term tests.

After getting her homework done at the station on that school holiday, Joe allowed Kelly to ride in Barry's car as a ride along. When Barry was ready to leave, he found Kelly in the break room talking to Grossie. He noticed that Kelly looked a bit pale, but she didn't seem sick. About 2:00 in the afternoon, they got a call of a multiple car traffic accident. Barry and Kelly were quick to arrive. As Kelly got out, she was surprised to find herself briefly dizzy. She shook it off and hoped Barry didn't notice.

A quick glance toward the accident scene told her that one car had a young girl in it about four years old, and a mother who was unconscious after hitting her head on the steering wheel. Kelly went to that car first.

Everything she had learned and studied about in the last three weeks came flooding to her mind. Automatically she went through the steps; she checked for danger such as leaking gas or power lines. There was none, so she approached the car. Carefully, so as not to disturb the woman's position, she felt for a pulse and breathing. Kelly checked for unusual positions of limbs that would indicate broken bones. She looked for bleeding that might indicate brain hemorrhaging. Then she turned her attention to the little girl. Fortunately, the little one was buckled in. She didn't have any serious injuries but was scared and crying. Kelly started talking to her.

"Hi, what's your name?" Kelly asked as she looked through the window. She couldn't get the door open.

"S-S-Sarah," sobbed the little girl.

Kelly came around to the other side of the car to reach Sarah a little better. "Are you hurt Sarah?" Kelly asked as she reached in to take hold of the little girl's hand.

"My tummy hurts" Sarah cried as she squirmed against the seatbelt.

"Well Sarah, the paramedics are going to be here in just a second to help you get out. Then they will check your tummy to make sure it is OK."

"Will you stay with me?" Sarah asked.

"Of course I'll stay with you, honey." Kelly glanced up to see a couple paramedics grabbing stuff out of the back of their truck. To her dismay, she realized it was none other than Johnny and Roy.

Johnny spotted her. His face reddened and he stumbled in his anxiety. But, as Roy had gone to check the other victims, John had to join Kelly at the car.

"Hi Kelly, I didn't think I'd see you here." He said without looking at her as he set his boxes down.

Kelly glanced at the woman, and reported what she knew. "She's unconscious. Her pulse was about 80 beats a minute; her breathing is slow and shallow. I didn't see any bleeding around her ears and nose. I didn't see any obvious sign of broken bones. I didn't move her because I don't have neck brace.

"Sarah here is four-years-old. She says her tummy hurts. She's coherent."

Johnny listened as he got his equipment set up.

"Thanks Kelly, I appreciate your help." Kelly understood by the tone of his voice that her services were done and he would take over.

"Uh, Sarah doesn't want me to go." Kelly wasn't quite ready to address Johnny by his first name, but really wasn't sure how to address him. Instead, she nodded over to Sarah still holding tightly to Kelly's hand.

"Do you want Kelly to stay here with you?" Johnny asked the frightened little girl.

Sarah nodded her head and grasped Kelly's fingers even tighter.

"All right, Sarah, Kelly can say," John consented much to his discomfort, and set to work on trying to free the two. John was very conscious of her presence and feared he would forget the simplest tasks. He concentrated on each task and hoped he was doing it correctly.

Kelly actually had to climb into the car and cover herself and Sarah with a heavy, fireproof blanket while other firemen used saws to rip away at the roof and sides of the car trying to free the victims. John was so close to her that she could smell his aftershave wafting through the car. She only hoped that if he saw her red face when she pulled the blanket off her, he would think the red in her face was due to the heat and close quarters of the car and not from awkward embarrassment. Several more times, Kelly felt dizzy and lightheaded, but always she fought through it.

Finally, with the mother loaded into an ambulance attended by Johnny, and Sarah on her own stretcher, Kelly tried to pry her fingers out of Sarah's hand. However, Sarah wouldn't let go.

"Please, come with me," Sarah whispered out of fear and exhaustion.

Just then, Barry came over to see what Kelly was going to do. He'd noticed that she was busy with the little girl. Again, he noticed Kelly's pale face.

"Kelly, why don't you ride with her to the hospital? I'll pick you up there," he told her. Barry hoped that the paramedic or a doctor would notice Kelly looked ill. Before she could answer he was called away to assist in traffic control. He did not see Kelly's look of sheer terror at the idea of being in the same ambulance as Johnny.

Sarah smiled as Kelly climbed into the back of the ambulance and stayed with the little girl. She found herself sitting next to Warrior Strong Heart – Johnny, but Kelly kept her focus on little Sarah and didn't say anything or even look at Johnny who was tending to the mother. She was sure, however, that he could hear her pounding heart.

Johnny for his part, was very aware of that young woman next to him, but quickly realized that Kelly didn't want him to talk to her. He did not notice that she looked pale and several times seem to fight back waves of dizziness as they made the quick trip to the hospital.

At the hospital, Roy pulled up next to the ambulance, jumped out and helped the ambulance attendant pull the stretcher with little Sarah out of the vehicle. Kelly climbed out and walked beside the little girl.

Dixie McCall, the head nurse met the entourage near the door. She directed them to room three and followed them in. She hadn't seen Kelly before, but Roy was quick to fill in the essential details.

Gently, Dixie talked to little Sarah, like a mother, convincing her that she was safe, her mommy would be OK. Dr. Brackett gave a low sedative to the little girl while Miss McCall talked, and slowly the little girl loosened her grip on Kelly's hand. Kelly bent, gave the now quiet girl a little kiss on the cheek, straightened up, and turned to face Roy. She had no problem looking him in the eye. She gave Roy a slight, shy smile and slipped out into the hallway. Again, she was dizzy but tried to hide it. Roy, a little confused, watched her leave. Who WAS she, anyway?

She walked down the hallway where she waited for Barry to show up. Soon Johnny came out of exam room two, and, spotting her, he ambled toward her.

"Kelly thanks for your help this afternoon," he told her sincerely, glancing into her eyes. Kelly met his eyes with hers, briefly. She saw gratitude there, and pleading. He seemed to be pleading with her, but for what? She dropped her eyes, shrugged her shoulders, but didn't say anything. She just wanted to go home and get to bed. Suddenly she was very tired.

Johnny, gazed at her a moment more, and then, somehow encouraged and disappointed, he quietly left and went to the supply room to gather more supplies for the squad.

Suddenly Jon and Ponch walked in.

"Hey Kelly what are you doing here?" Ponch asked with his usual enthusiastic self.

Kelly brightened at seeing a couple people she knew and loved. "Hi, Ponch. I'm waiting for Barry to pick me up. I ended up keeping a scared little girl company in an ambulance. She held my hand the whole time. Man! I thought I was going to be a permanent pretzel the way I had to contort my body so she could hold my fingers!"

"I heard you did a pretty awesome job out there." Ponch replied.

"Kelly, you look pretty tired." Jon noticed Kelly's pale face and tired eyes. "And from the way you are squinting your eyes in this light, I'm guessing you've got a pretty nasty headache, too. Don't you?"

From the supply room, Johnny heard the cops' greeting. Kelly's cheerful and animated response made him look around to see who was talking to her. To his surprise, he saw a couple cops with her, yet he wasn't surprised. Didn't he first see her at the CHP station? Surely, she was a cop's kid. He turned back to his list of items he needed to gather.

"Uh Kelly, no riding lesson this evening," Jon continued in regards to her horse riding lessons. "You need to get home. Are you feeling OK?"

"I am pretty tired," she admitted as Barry walked through the door. "It seems like the world is spinning around me. Bed sounds pretty good about now."

Johnny, still in the supply room, grew concerned as he heard that last exchange. He contemplated coming out and introducing himself, but for some reason, he felt it wouldn't be wise. He was a grown man, she a child. Dr. Brackett heard the conversation as well when he stepped out of Sarah's exam room to see how Sarah's mom was doing. He watched the retreating form of Kelly and Barry, and saw the two motorcycle cops stop at a drinking fountain. Who was this Kelly?

John tossed and turned that night in the dorm. He finally got up, afraid that his restlessness was keeping Roy awake. Pulling on his turnouts, he pulled "Mac" out from the bedside stand, and slipped into the kitchen for a drink of milk.

Kelly was so close to him in the ambulance, but yet so distant. It seemed he could read her heart and mind even though she didn't want to talk. The brief glance he caught of her face and her eyes in the hospital stirred him, and now he struggled to understand what he saw there.

Johnny continued to pace back and forth in the day room as he thought about her shy, self-conscious look. Finally, he sat down with the empty mug still in his hands. He sat it on the table beside him and opened up Mac. As he settled into his chair, his spirit settled and he could listen to his Spirit Guide. Kelly had had a troubling past, he knew that now; and she didn't have a real family. How he knew that, he wasn't sure, but somehow, she had told him. Yet for all her sorrow, Kelly had a tender heart toward….he could put it into words, yet. So, he started to write.

Mac,

I'm really concerned. I don't think Kelly is well. She was with one of the CHP guys this afternoon when we arrived at an MVA. She was with a little girl, scared, about four-years-old. I could tell she was focused on the little girl. I was proud of her, because she remembered everything we taught her so far in class – and more. One of the CHP officers suggested she go in the ambulance with the little girl, and I think that totally terrified her. Having her that close to me made me nervous, and I wasn't sure I could focus on my job. But the little girl wouldn't let her go, so Kelly ended up riding in the ambulance with me. She was quiet, and she wouldn't look at me, but somehow, I know that she has heart set toward me. Does she know she honors me as Lakota with her discreet and shy manner?

Anyway, at the hospital, I overheard some of the CHP guys she hangs out with tell her that she looked pale and tired. Stupid me! I was so focused on my patient, I didn't notice how bad she looked.

I can't believe I had the courage to talk to her, but I did. She actually looked at me for a second! There is so much I want to tell her, but I don't have the words for it. From what I saw, there is a lot in her heart, too. What does she want to tell me? Why am I so attracted to her? What is going on here? Never in my life do I want to hurt her. She has suffered so much sorrow in her life, but now there is happiness. Is it possible that she ….

John shook his head and stood up. He wouldn't go there. She was just a girl. He quietly rinsed out the mug, placed it on the drain picked up "Mac", and went back to the dorm. Repositioning his turnouts, and hiding his book in the nightstand, he slipped his feet under the covers of his bed and slipped into a deep dreamless sleep.

Kelly absent-mindedly rubbed a hand over her heart as she got ready for bed. Though she paid no attention to it, her heart ached just a little bit. Her head hurt a lot worse after what she went through earlier in the day at the accident site. Her arm hurt, too. Kelly figured that was from all the time she spent with little Sarah, holding her hand. Before she turned out her light, she pulled her faithful journal toward her and opened to a blank page.

_Dear Journal,_

_ I hurt all over, and I think it's because I was scrunched in a wrecked car this afternoon, trying to comfort a scared little girl. Johnny and Roy were the paramedics on the scene, and I am still wondering how we managed to work without dying of embarrassment. I rode in the ambulance with Johnny, and I was so conscious of how close he was to me. I could smell his aftershave, and I know he could feel my presence as well. _

_ He talked to me before I left with Barry. He thanked me for the good job I did, and I managed to _

_glance at him and smile. There was so much in his eyes! He was trying to tell me something. Do I dare write this down, I think I …._

__Kelly stopped and closed her book. She didn't have the courage to write what was on her heart. But she was pretty sure of one thing; she and John, in some way had a future together.

The alarm clock sounded the next morning, and Kelly rolled over to turn it off. As she got out of bed, she felt dizzy, and her left arm hurt like she'd been sleeping on it. She also felt - heavy, like she was carrying a big weight on her chest. Guessing it was from the stress of mid-term tests at school, she decided to lie down for five more minutes.

"Kelly! Are you up yet?" Betty called from the kitchen. Kelly, an early riser was usually down for breakfast by now. A few minutes later, Kelly listlessly came down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Hey, are you OK," Betty asked.

"I don't know," Kelly replied not wanting to admit how sick she really felt. "I think studying for these mid-terms got to me. I think I'll be fine." It was mid-term time at school. After the day off yesterday, the rest of this week was nothing but tests. Kelly took her education seriously and did well in her studies.

"Well, eat your breakfast. Ponch is taking you to school this morning. And you know he's always in a hurry."

Kelly leaned her aching head against the cool metal of Ponch's car. The tingling in her arm hadn't gone away, and she felt like she could hardly breathe.

"Hey there, you don't look so good," Ponch commented as he pulled away from the house.

"I'm fine, just this bad headache that started yesterday. Now I've got all these tests. It's probably just from the stress of studying. School does that to you, you know. Especially mid-term tests." Kelly tried to be funny, but it hurt to laugh.

"Well, take it easy today, don't overdo it." Ponch said.

Kelly closed her eyes and was almost asleep by the time Ponch pulled into the parking lot of the middle school Kelly attended. Ponch gently called her name and helped her out of the car. As she walked toward the building, he watched with deep concern.

"Hi Kelly." It was her best friend Julie.

Kelly turned toward her friend. But before she could even say hi, Julie gasped at Kelly's appearance.

"Kelly! You're pale as a ghost! What's wrong with you?"

"I don't feel very good. My head hurts, my arm tingles, I'm dizzy, and I think I'm coming down with the flu."

"Why didn't you stay home today?" Julie asked.

"Not with the tests all this week, Julie. You know how hard it is to make up tests," Kelly replied pulling a book gently from her locker.

Well, I'm glad we have our first two tests together, I think I need to keep an eye on you," Julie replied patting Kelly's arm. C'mon, let's go."

Kelly struggled through her first test. She could barely concentrate, her head hurt so bad. During the second test, her teacher, Mr. Peterson saw that Kelly was truly ill. So he excused her to go to the nurse's clinic. She gathered her books and stood up, then everything went black and she fell hard to the ground, knocking her head on the corner of the desk on the way down. Blood oozed from the gash on the back of her head.

"KELLY!" Julie screamed from her desk. Mr. Peterson was over to Kelly's side in a flash. The students started to crowd around.

"Scott! Call the front desk!" Mr. Peterson ordered. "Have them call 911, call Kelly's parents, and send another teacher. Kids back up; go the other side of the room please! NOW!" The teacher spoke rapidly, and the kids obeyed.

"Kelly! Kelly! Can you hear me?" he shook Kelly's shoulder gently. There was no response. He checked for breathing and a pulse. There was none. "I'm starting CPR!" he yelled to the kids. Immediately, there was a volunteer.

"I can help, I know CPR," a boy about Kelly's age spoke up.

While teacher and student worked over Kelly, Julie slipped out of the room and ran to the student payphone just around the corner. Slipping in a quarter she dialed the CHP.

"California Highway Patrol," the receptionist answered the phone.

Julie spoke through the sobs that were choking her. "Please, I need to talk to Sarj Getraer, Ponch or somebody; Kelly's past out and they're doing CPR on her!"

"Julie, Julie this is Maggie, calm down, what's going on?"

"It's Kelly! Mr. Peterson is doing CPR on her right now!"

"OK, Julie, calm down. I'm going to send Ponch and Jon out there, and I'm going to let you talk to the Sergeant, OK?" Maggie transferred Julie to Joe, and then relayed the message to dispatch.

"Jon, I'm worried about Kelly," Ponch said was they waited on an overpass overlooking the Hollywood freeway. "She didn't look good at all yesterday when we saw her at the hospital or this morning. Have you noticed anything unusual about her lately?"

"Yeah, now that you mention it. She seemed to have less energy. She's been more cont.."

"Mary 3 and 4, LA. 7-Charles-A is 11-99 at 1500 Adams Road. Please respond," the radio interrupted.

Ponch and Jon looked at each other, "Kelly!" Ponch said as he gunned his motor and raced away.

"Mary 3 & 4 responding from SaPolvana and Hollywood." Jon replied quickly into his mic, and then raced after Ponch.

Johnny and Roy were at the grocery store picking up some food the station needed. It was Roy's turn to cook that day and Johnny was poking fun at Roy's cooking when the radio Johnny carried beeped an alarm.

Squad 51, female student collapsed, CPR in progress. 1500 Adams Road. 1500 Adams Road. Timeout 10:34.

"Squad 51, 10-4" Johnny replied as the two left the grocery cart in the middle of aisle and rushed out of the store.

"1500 Adams Road. That's Northfield Middle School." Do you think it's Kelly?" Johnny fearfully asked as he pulled on his helmet. "At the hospital yesterday, I heard her tell those cops that she was tired. They seemed concerned about her."

"I don't know," Roy replied as he turned the truck out of the parking lot. Johnny didn't say anything more, but he was desperately afraid. Kelly was…. Well, this was one patient he did not want to lose. He mentally urged Roy to go faster, faster. "I can't lose her, I can't lose her," he repeated over and over in his mind in time to the blaring siren.

Mr. Johnson and Kevin were still working on Kelly when squad 51 arrived. Jon and Ponch were right behind them. Julie saw the men and led them to where Kelly was. Johnny and Roy took one look, saw that it was Kelly and glanced at each other. It crossed Roy's mind that Johnny looked more fearful than usual, almost panicked. However, it was a quick half-thought as the two of them took over while Jon talked to Mr. Peterson, and Ponch tried to calm Julie down.

"I noticed when she came in that she didn't look very well," Mr. Peterson told Jon. "I wondered why she just didn't stay home. But then Kelly isn't one to take school lightly. She probably came because of the tests. I finally excused her to go to the nurse's clinic and she didn't argue. She stood up and fell over. I noticed she wasn't breathing nor had a pulse, so I started CPR with the help of Kevin, here." Mr. Peterson was obviously upset.

"Thank-you for your quick action," Jon told the man. "You probably saved her life." Jon looked over at the paramedics still trying desperately to get Kelly stable enough to move.

"Rampart, squad 51." Roy said into the portable phone.

"Rampart, go ahead." It was Dr. Brackett.

Roy recognized the voice and spoke. "Rampart, we've got a fourteen year-old girl, collapsed, CPR being administered. We have her on six liters of O2 Vitals: Pupils fixed and dilated; no readable pulse or respirations. She has a bleeding two-inch gash on the back of her head. We are sending you a strip."

Dr. Brackett quickly switched on the EKG machine, studied the strip of paper sliding out and called back to the paramedics. "51, V-Fib! Administer paddles at 300,"

"Copy Rampart, paddles at 300" Roy replied as Johnny opened up the box with the shock paddles.

Roy dropped the phone to help apply gel to the paddles.

"Clear!" Johnny yelled, and then pressed the buttons sending a jolting current through Kelly's body. Again John thought, "I can't lose her. Oh, Kelly please don't die on me. I … just don't die on me!" There were words in his heart that he wanted to say but couldn't for they were not ready to be said.

The EKG monitor wiggled its line and then went back to its random squiggly march across the screen.

"Again." Roy barked. They shocked Kelly's body again, trying desperately to get her heart to beating. There was no response.

Roy grabbed the phone and spoke into it. "Rampart, shocked twice and no response.

"51, .75 CC epinephrine intercardial and shock again at 400." Dr. Brackett ordered.

Dixie McCall arrived and overheard the last exchange.

A minute later Roy reported, "Rampart, shocked again and now we've got tachocardia; she's throwing a lot of PVC's." Roy reported.

"Start IV with a laticaine bollus and a laticaine drip. Bring her in as fast as you can," Dr. Brackett ordered.

"Let's get room four ready for her," he told Dixie. I want the crash cart, the best cardiologist we got, and an operating room standing by.

Johnny and Roy deftly inserted the IV into Kelly's arm, lifted her onto the stretcher and prepared her for travel. Johnny climbed into the ambulance with Kelly while Roy followed behind in the squad.

Meanwhile, Julie began to calm down. "Ponch, will she be OK?" she asked looking up at the tall officer. "Please let me know how she's doing."

"Don't worry Julie, we will," Ponch replied gently with a worried look over at the departing ambulance.

"CPR, Jon. Did Kelly have a heart-attack?" Ponch asked unbelievingly later at their motors. "The kid's only fourteen years old."

"Mary 3 and 4, LA," the radio crackled at them. Jon grabbed the mic and responded.

"Land line S-4 at Central."

"10-4," Jon replied.

In the ambulance, Johnny closely monitored the data scope. He couldn't bear to look at Kelly's pale, still face, yet he could not NOT look at her. Tears slid down his cheeks as he gazed at the girl on the stretcher. This girl who so desperately clung to life; this girl who had everything taken away from her so young. This girl who seemed to read his very soul. He couldn't lose her, he just couldn't. With a deep, shuddering sigh, Johnny wiped the tears, and refocused on the wiggly line on his machine. So far, Kelly was hanging on.

At the hospital, Johnny and the ambulance attendants rushed Kelly into a room full of waiting doctors and specialists. She was in a very unstable condition. Betty was there when Ponch and Jon arrived.

"Betty, what's going on? Ponch asked approaching the wife of his fellow officer as Jon went to a quiet corner to call the sergeant.

"I don't know; no one's been out to talk to me." Betty replied glancing at Ponch, and then back to the room Kelly was in.

Roy walked in about that time having followed the ambulance to the hospital. He saw the same two motorcycle cops he saw yesterday along with another lady he hadn't seen before. One was talking to her while the other was punching numbers at a payphone.

"Uh, hi," Roy approached Betty and Ponch. Are you here for Kelly?

Ponch turned to Roy. "Yes. Say, you worked on her, how is she doing?"

"Well," Roy chose his words carefully. "I didn't ride in the ambulance with her but she is in pretty serious condition. She's here now, though and Dr. Brackett is one of the best emergency doctors around." Roy glanced from Ponch to Betty trying to figure out what relation they had with Kelly. He was still a bit confused.

"Sarj, Jon here," Jon said into the phone.

"Jon, what's going on? I tried to talk to Julie a few minutes ago, and she was very hard to understand. What's wrong with Kelly."

Jon explained everything he knew. "You might want to come down here; it's pretty serious I think." Jon said. "OK, I'll let Betty know. Yeah, bye."

Jon went over to his friends and waited with them. Joe walked in about ten minutes later.

Finally, a very somber Johnny walked out of the room and saw the area full of cops. He was a bit surprised but remembered that Kelly seemed to know at least some of them very well. He spotted Roy, walked over to stand with him, and waited. No one said a word until Dr. Brackett finally came out.

"Kelly suffered what we call Sudden Cardiac Arrest," Brackett began. "I need to know if you noticed any symptoms the last couple of days."

"She looked very pale yesterday when she was here; and this morning when I took her to school. She also complained of a headache." Ponch told the doctor.

"Did she complain of tingling in her arm, dizziness, or a 'heavy' chest?" the doctor asked.

They looked at each other and shook their heads. "She never told me anything," Betty finally said. "But then she shares very little of how she's feeling."

Dr. Brackett sighed. "Johnny, did you notice anything yesterday? You spent some time with her."

"No, I was busy with the accident victim. Kelly's in our First Responder class though, and she seemed OK. However, she is very quiet, doesn't speak out much in class. But as she was leaving with you guys," he turned to face Ponch and Jon, "I did hear her say that it seemed the world was spinning around her. She said she wanted to go to bed."

"Well, we are taking her into surgery." Dr. Brackett said with an urgent sigh. "She has blown valve in her heart causing the arrest. I do need her medical history. Is there any inherited problems or conditions I need to be aware of?"

"Doctor, Kelly is our foster daughter," Betty explained. "Her father is dead and her mother abandoned her when she was seven. We don't know anything of her medical background."

Johnny's eyes opened wide when he heard this bit of news. He and Roy glanced at each other. Somehow, he had known that was her background. Somehow, Kelly had told him.

"How is Kelly now?" Sergeant Getraer asked. "May we go see her?"

"We have her sedated. She'll be able to hear you, but will not be able to respond. I'm concerned though, why do you need to talk to her," the doctor commented, glancing at the uniform, still a bit confused about the apparent friendliness of the cops toward Kelly he saw yesterday and their uniforms.

"Oh, don't worry, we're her friends, this is her foster dad, Ponch replied pointing to Joe.

"OK, you may go in, just for a minute. We have her stable now, and we would sure like to keep it that way."

Johnny and Dr. Brackett watched the cops troop into the exam room.

"Johnny what do you make of it, all those cops?" Dr. Brackett asked.

"I think Kelly is one lucky girl," Johnny replied, realizing what had been bugging him all along. After seeing Kelly at the CHP station, Johnny unconsciously kept an eye for her whenever he worked an accident with the CHP. It only then dawned him that he HAD seen Kelly with the cops a couple times. She was always behind the scenes, though, careful not to get in the way. Johnny's eyes filled with tears and lump formed in his throat. He was suddenly afraid he was going to lose the one person who understood him, that one person who….

Dr. Brackett, not sure what to make of Johnny's answer started to follow the cops into exam room four, but Johnny caught his arm. In a voice full of tears and fear, Johnny caught a sob in his throat. "Doc," he whispered. Dr. Brackett stopped and quizzically looked at Johnny. "Don't let her die. Please, don't let her die." John's eyes pleaded with the good doctor. Bracket could see Johnny's eyes were shiny with tears.

Doctor Brackett, not fully understanding the emotion behind Johnny's cry reassuredly squeezed the paramedic's arm and stepped into the treatment room.

Reluctant to leave, Johnny and Roy turned to the nurse's station to talk to Dixie. She was in a hurry, though; Dr. Brackett had asked her to assist in surgery, so they gathered supplies and left.

Betty, Ponch, Joe, and Jon quietly walked into the room where Kelly lay with tubes, and wires attached to her. A young student nurse moved aside when she saw the uniforms approach. She adjusted some equipment attached to Kelly.

"Kelly," Ponch whispered. "Kelly, we're here. Just take it easy, OK."

Kelly slowly rolled her head to the sound of the voice and half opened her eyes. She attempted to raise a hand toward them, but was too weak. Jon saw the motion and reached down to take her hand.

"We'll be here for you Kelly, you know that. We always stick together. We're not going to leave you here."

She gave just the slightest nod, and closed her eyes again.

"I'm sorry; you're going to have to go now. We need to get her ready for surgery," the nurse said, gently ushering them out the door.

Word quickly got around, and soon the waiting room hosted eight or ten California Highway Patrol officers. The room grew uncomfortably quiet with so many cops there. Finally, one of the young nurses approached Barry. "Why are all you guys here?" she asked. Is someone in trouble?"

Barry smiled at her. "No," he said. "One of our own is in there." We're just waiting for her to go to surgery."

"Oh," the nurse said trying to remember a patient who'd come in with a uniform on. But she couldn't recall anything. With a shake of her head, and a perplexed frown on her face, she walked away.

Kelly felt groggy, drugged and trapped. Something was wrong with her. She couldn't talk, couldn't move and everything was hazy, like she was in a dream. _Those voices, they sounded familiar. She tried to open her eyes. All she saw was a blurry tan. That must be Jon. Reach him! Get out of here! She tried to reach toward him, but it was so hard! He's reaching for her. Has her hand. In the fog and hazy an echoey voice came filtering to her. _"We're not going to leave you here."

_ Oh good! But wait, where are you going? You just saiiidd..._and everything felt warm, comfortable, sleepy. And Kelly was asleep from the drugs given her.

The orderlies rolled her out of the emergency room. The cops gathered around for a last word with her, a last comforting touch for her before the orderlies rushed her off to surgery.

"OK, you guys. Go back on duty," Sergeant Getraer told the crowd of cops. "You will be kept up to date on her progress."

Slowly the officers disappeared and the tension eased in the waiting room. Soon, only Betty, Jon and Ponch rattled the waiting room with Sarj.

The hours passed slowly for those waiting, while in the operating room, the surgeons were wishing time would slow down just a bit. Suddenly, there were problems. Big problems. They were having a hard time keeping Kelly alive.

Suddenly the PA sounded an urgent message. "Code Red! O.R. 2! Code Red! O.R. 2!" Betty, Jon and Ponch looked at each other, hoping Kelly was OK. A rush of activity amplified the urgency of the problem. Slowly the activity calmed down.

A few minutes later, Johnny and Roy slipped into the waiting room. They wanted to be there when Dr. Brackett came out of surgery.

Finally, Dr. Brackett in surgical greens with a mask hanging down approached the worry-stricken friends. "Kelly will be OK," he said with a smile on his face. "It was a close call, but she's a fighter, she pulled through."

"When can we see her?" Betty asked.

"She's in recovery right now. I will transfer her to CCU in about two hours. She'll be out pretty much the rest of the day, though."

The small group smiled in relief. "Doctor," Ponch asked, "She'll be OK, I mean, will she be a normal teenager when this is all over?"

Doctor Brackett smiled. "Don't worry. She'll be just fine. Give her some time, and she'll be herself again." Johnny let out the breath he didn't know he was holding when he overheard Doctor Brackett talk to the CHPs.

Sergeant Getraer saw the two paramedics and quickly decided he needed to tell the two as well as the doctors here what and who Kelly was. "Uh doctor, I think I need to explain who Kelly is to you, and perhaps to the two paramedics, over there." I'm sure there are questions whirling around here about her."

Dr. Brackett nodded and agreed. "I will admit there have been some questions, but why do you feel you need to tell us?"

"Because we need your help. Your medical help of course, but also your emotional help. And, the more you know about her, the more you can help Kelly, and us."

Dr. Brackett agreed and called Dr. Early and Dixie McCall to join him in his office.

Soon Sergeant Getraer, Dr. Brackett, Dr. Early, Johnny, Roy, and Miss McCall were seated in Dr. Brackett's office. Joe began.

"I wanted to let you know who Kelly is," he started out. Over the next 20 minutes he shared her life's story; her mom abandoning her, the deaths of her dad and her first foster mom, the arrangements that allowed Kelly to live him and Betty, and the way all the cops at LA Central station take care of Kelly.

Then Joe paused. "It's a lot to take in, I know. But now, how to deal with Kelly. First of all, she is wary. She will not open up to strangers. She's been hurt many times in the past and she wants to make very sure that whomever she befriends will not hurt her. Therefore, she will not be the most forward in conversation. She seems embarrassed of her background. She is also very aware of who she lives with and will do her best to not jeopardize our work. She is passionate about helping others, but is very willing to let others take the lead. She is a strong kid and doesn't like others to see her as weak. As such, hospitalization will be torture for her. However, she will not ignore her symptoms or treatments once she is out. She will abide by everything. She just will be very discreet about it.

As she gets to know you all, be aware of code talk. If you get a phone call from her from school, she may ask you to bring her in to do a lab. Understand that to mean the hospital. Or to go to the library may mean something else. If you aren't sure, ask her yes or no questions so that she won't give away to anyone on her end of the phone who she is talking to or really about what. Again, it's her way of being seeing as strong and able as well as to protect those she is working /living with; namely us." Joe pointed to his uniform.

Don't let her know that you know all this information. But don't hide it from her. All we ask now is that you take her in as part of your family. Don't ask her about her past, but just assume she knows you know. In time she will figure out you do know, but she probably won't ask how you found out. Get to know her, be willing to take her into your circle. Don't be over eager, but don't snub her. Treat her as your daughter or sister, not your girlfriend. Be willing to help her with school projects and rides after school. Stay in touch with us so we can all work together for her good. Let your own families know and include her when appropriate. But, don't let this become a news item. Let only the essential people know." Joe looked at the two paramedics. "Perhaps your captain and those on your shift know only so they can support you two on this mission."

Joe paused and looked around the room. Finally, Johnny spoke up.

"Uh, Sergeant?" He wasn't sure how to address Joe. "Roy here and I, well, we are teaching the First Responder class that Kelly's been taking at school. First of all, we will catch her up when she's able to return to class, but my question is how do you think she will respond to us once we treat her with more familiarity?" Just the mention of Kelly's name caused Johnny's heart to beat an extra time and his neck change to a slight shade of red.

"First of all, she will treat you as any other teacher inside the classroom. Again, she will work hard to not acknowledge that you and she know each other beyond a teacher/student relationship. You may have seen that yesterday at the accident. She didn't engage in any conversation beyond business, right? Because she knew your job she wasn't going to give in to idol chatter. Beyond that, give her time. Let her decide when she will see you as friends."

With that, the meeting broke up. Joe followed Dr. Brackett out of the office.

"I hope I didn't burden you too much, Doctor. I really think you and your staff here can be of help to us, especially right now. We all need to be available to her as counselors and therapists as she needs them.

This time the affable Dr. Early spoke up. "Sergeant, I'm honored that you us asked to be a part of Kelly's life. We will do our part to make her strong in spirit and in body." He held his hand out to Joe who took in with a smile of gratitude.

_Mac,_

_ I hope Chet doesn't catch me writing, but I've got to get this down. I almost lost my Kelly today. I can say it now, "my" Kelly. Oh, I love her so much! I know she is only fourteen years old, but she is my soul mate. _

_This morning, Roy and I were called to the school for a student down. My heart lay at my feet in fear that it was Kelly. It was. __She suffered a heart attack this morning. That explains why the CHP guys were so concerned about her yesterday. __She was in bad shape; the teacher was doing CPR on her when we arrived. That's probably what saved her. __ We had to zap her twice and put ladicaine right into her heart. She was really bad off. I rode the ambulance in with her, and for the first time, I allowed myself to cry over a patient. She was so small and still and white. This girl – woman in Lakota, was fighting to stay alive. __ I don't know how I did my job – I was so scared for her, but we got her to Rampart, and Drs. Early and Brackett pulled her through._

_I found out a lot more about Kelly from the sergeant. He told a bunch of us that Kelly is an abandoned foster child. I wouldn't be surprised if there was some abuse early in her life. That is why she reads my soul so deeply; because she understands me; that I've been there. It sounds like she is in a good stable situation now; I'm glad. With what Sergeant Getraer said, I think getting to know Kelly just got easier for me – I hope._

_I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I am hoping to see her tomorrow; at least I'm going to try._

_~John_

Kelly never felt pain like this before. Her chest felt like someone tore it in two. She felt heavy, paralyzed. She couldn't make sense of it; that constant beeping, the regular hissing sound that sent air into her lungs, the ache in her arm. Was she real, alive? _Have I been turned into a robot?_ she thought to herself, panicked at the idea.

Dixie noticed Kelly was coming around. "Hi Kelly," she said in a soothing voice. "Just lie still. You just came out of surgery. Your friends are waiting to see you, just as soon as you get out of here."

_Surgery? People wanting to see me? I am a robot! I'm supposed to be in school taking tests. What time is it? What day is it? _

But despite her efforts to stay awake, she drifted off to sleep again.

It was late that evening the next time she woke up. She hurt all over she clutched at the sheets trying to get rid of it. A soft touch and a worried voice brought her more awake. "Kelly? Kelly, are you OK?" Betty Getraer asked softly.

Kelly opened her eyes a little, and squinted against the bright light in the room. She tried to say something, but gagged at the tube in her throat.

"Don't try to talk Kelly," another voice said from the other side of the bed. She tried to turn her head to see who was speaking, but a hand restrained her. She closed her eyes in confusion, and then opened them again. The sergeant had spoken. He and his wife were there with her. She looked around to see who else might be in her room, but everything was so blurry.

"Jon, Ponch and Bonnie will be here in about an hour." Joe explained to Kelly. Betty and I wanted to be here when you woke up. You had an emergency sugary this morning. Right now, you're in CCU at Rampart General Hospital.

Kelly looked up at Joe with a worried question in her eyes. In response, Joe took Kelly's hand and said, "You'll be OK, Kelly. Just take it easy. You need to rest now, OK?"

She nodded and looked over at Betty who patted her hand and bent down to kiss her cheek. Then Kelly was asleep again.

Dear Katy,

Our dear foster daughter is in the hospital. She suffered a heart attack today and nearly died. But between the teacher, the student who helped him, and those paramedic guys, Kelly will have a fighting chance. The doctors say she may even be OK. I have never seen Joe so worried before. I know he loves Kelly like a daughter. We talked once of adopting her; I think we want to pick up that conversation and make a decision. I, for one, want to adopt Kelly and make her our child for good.

Joe is at the hospital now, and will probably be home just in time to catch a nap before going back to work. I'm going to be leaving here in a few minutes to spend some time with her.

~Betty

Betty slipped her spiral bound book back into the bookcase, and walked into Kelly's room to get a few things the girl would need; toothbrush and paste, her favorite stuffed animal, and her journal.

The next morning Johnny showed up at the hospital in street clothes. It was his day off. He looked around for Dixie so he could find out how Kelly was doing. He found her at the nurses' station talking to Roy who was also in street clothes.

"Kelly is doing fine. She always has someone with her from the CHP station. Everyone from the front desk lady to the mechanic has been here trying to see her. They have brought so many flowers we don't have places for them all."

"Do you think it would be OK if we go see her?" Johnny asked, almost too eagerly. But Dixie discouraged it. "No, I think you need to approach this slowly. First, you are her teacher. Let her reach out the first hand of friendship.

"But, I'll tell you what, in a couple days, when she is stronger and more coherent, I'll let you in so you can tell her you'll help her complete the class. For right now, though, let's let her 'family', the CHP officers visit her. She is comfortable with those people. OK?"

Disappointed, Johnny wondered how he could explain to Dixie that Kelly was …what was she? Somehow she was…. but the gentleman and Native American in him would not allow him to say it.

When she next woke up, Kelly was thirsty, incredibly thirsty. She looked around, and found a button to push. A nurse appeared and smiled at Kelly's bewildered eyes. "Good morning, Kelly. And how may I help my most popular patient this morning?"

Kelly started to make the motion of drinking, but Miss McCall interrupted her. "You can talk now. We took the tube out of your lungs about an hour ago. I bet you're thirsty, aren't you? Well, we'll get some water for you. And how about some friends to drink it with? There are a couple of Chippies just about ready to drive me up the wall. Please do something with them."

Kelly smiled at the nurse's sense of humor.

"Hey lazy bones, get out of bed," came a teasing voice with a tall athletic body behind it.

"Hi Ponch, hey Barry, Jon." Kelly whispered at the three officers who piled into her small room. "Sorry Ponch, I'm taking a break right now," she responded to the teasing he gave her. Barry handed her the small drinking glass and she sipped some cool water from the straw. She winced as she swallowed the water, however. Her throat was incredibly sore.

"Well at least your civil this morning," Jon teased gently. "Last night, you wouldn't even say hi to us. You slept right through our visit with you."

Kelly smiled. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll have plenty chances to get me back."

Within a couple days, Kelly was sitting up in a chair and walking short distances. She began to get antsy; she wanted out, to go home. She was worried about her classes, the effect her absence from class was doing to her grades. Dixie noticed Kelly's restlessness and decided it was good time to let Johnny and Roy visit.

"Kelly," Miss McCall quietly pushed the door open and walked in. For once Kelly was

without visitors. "Kelly, I know you've been worried about your classes. I think Johnny and Roy can help you with that. Do you mind if they came in and talk to you?"

Kelly blushed slightly at the thought of the paramedics seeing her in bed. She didn't realize it was they who came to the school when she collapsed. But, she shrugged her shoulders indicating she didn't mind.

Dixie held the door open wider and let the two paramedics come through. John carried a small Smokey Bear teddy. Kelly briefly caught Warrior Strong Heart's eyes with her own eyes, but then she quickly dropped them. The emotion in his eyes was too strong for her; she couldn't handle it – yet.

"Hi Kelly," It was Johnny speaking softly as he walked over to her bed. Roy followed behind. "My, you are sure looking better than when we last saw you." Kelly turned a deeper shade of red and picked at some imagery lint on her blanket. Johnny quietly set the Teddy bear on the bead where Kelly would see it. Quietly Kelly drew the bear to herself, thanking John with her eyes. She hugged the bear tightly without saying a word.

"I understand you are worried about your classes."

Kelly nodded, still not saying a word.

"Well, I was wondering if you would mind if Roy and I took time to help you get caught up so you can pass the class. You may finish after the others, but your principal has told me that credit will still be good. Would you like that?" Johnny yearned, begged her to lift her head, to look at him directly. He had so much to share with her. But share what? He didn't know. Then, realizing she would not lift her head, he knew she was not ready to receive what he wanted to give.

"Oh, it's not for any school credit I'm taking the class," Kelly blurted out looking past Johnny into Roy's eyes. "I was – am taking the class because I know that I can help people – you and the cops.

"I would like very much too somehow complete the class. Thank you, very much." Kelly gave a small smile to the fair-haired man.

Roy took a chance. "Cops, you mean like Ponch and Bonnie and Sergeant

Getraer?"

Kelly was a bit startled, but Roy hurried on. "Kelly, we get to know the cops because we often work the same accidents they do. We don't get to know each other well, but we have to work together. Besides, they were all over this place when we brought you in. We were practically tripping over them, so I thought we might as well introduce ourselves."

Kelly smiled at the thought of people tripping over each other. Then she froze when she realized what he had said, "When we brought you in." She looked up terrified, glancing at Johnny and moving to Roy's face. That brief glance at Johnny brought her reassurance. His eyes told her it was OK, that he had kept his honor as Lakota. Warrior Strong Heart had not defiled her beauty.

Roy did not see the brief glance, only the relief in Kelly's face. He realized he had made a breakthrough and Kelly would allow Johnny and him, and perhaps the others at station 51 into her circle of friends and family. Without fully realizing it, Kelly knew it, too.

Dixie who was standing in the corner quietly observing the exchange stepped forward. "And Kelly, you need to know that because Johnny and Roy are paramedics, we see them a lot. Even patrol officers come in now and then to get additional information on accidents or events they've covered. You should know that. So we know Ponch and Jon, and Barry and even Grossman, too." Dixie had worked hard to learn some of the names at the Central LA station. Kelly nodded her head and thought about what all this meant for her. Finally, she reached for her nearby journal and pen, and opened it. Her hand was shaky and it was hard to write with an IV poking in her arm, but she just had to write.

_Dear Journal,_

_It's been a strange couple of days. I am in the hospital right now; Joe and Betty say I had a heart attack and had to have open-heart surgery. Who would have guessed! I'm feeling a lot better than a couple days ago, and I want to go home. My grades are going to go down the drain if I don't get out of here soon._

_Johnny and Roy came to see me today. Miss McCall was with them, for which I was very thankful. I feel so much more comfortable around Johnny now. Somehow, I think he knows about my background. Is it because he had the same troubled childhood I did? How do I know he did? I don't know._

_They told me that they were the ones who came to the school and worked on me. Mr. Johnson was doing CPR on me, and J and R had to use the paddles on me. I was essentially dead! When they first told me that they were the ones, I was so mortified, but Johnny told me with his eyes that everything is OK; that he took care to protect my honor._

_Johnny and Roy know, at least a little bit, some of my CHP guys. Somehow, that makes being around them easier, especially since they are going to help me finish the First Responder class. _

_I'm tired, so I'll write more later. But, you know what, I love Johnny R. Gage._

_Kelly_

_Mac,_

_ I can breathe easier, now. Kelly is doing much better and is going to be OK. I got to see her today. She still has a hard time looking me in the eye, but when she did, she looked deep into my soul. Does she understand what she is doing is honorable for the Lakota? Her actions show that she really likes or even perhaps, loves? me. _

_ Roy, Dixie and I had a chance to talk to her for a bit. I told her that we would help her finish her class; Roy explained that because we work with various police departments including the CHP, we do get to know some of the officers. We didn't tell her what Sergeant Getraer told us, but I think she knows we know. _

_ She seemed a lot more calm and reassured after we talked to her, even after she found out it was Roy and me who treated her at the scene. She looked terrified! But she glanced at me, and realized I had taken care to make sure she was treated with honor. _

_ I certainly do think that being with her will be a lot easier from now on. She accepts me, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But, she is fourteen, so I must be careful to be honorable, respectful and patient._

_~John_

Kelly progressed and ten days later, she was released from the hospital. She was a bit embarrassed at all the attention she got. All her friends were there to celebrate her discharge.

As Jed and Barry were helping her into the Sergeant's cruiser, Kelly stopped them and looked around her friends. "You know," she said "being alive is a great feeling."

She glanced at Johnny's badge and then at Roy for a moment. Johnny watched her. Her eyes, full of…what, admiration? She turned back to Johnny and looked him in the eye just long enough to utter one word. "Thanks." Then her eyes were back on his badge. Just one word, but it was loaded with meaning. Meaning that would take a while to fully figure out. One thing was clear, though. Kelly had accepted him into her life. Johnny wanted, very much, to reach out and take her hand, to squeeze it and assure her he would always be there. He couldn't. He kept his hand at his side, and instead, he smiled at her, and hoped it was enough.

Kelly also looked at Dr. Early, Dr. Brackett and Miss McCall. What all did they know about her? More than they let on, that was sure. But Kelly didn't mind. She felt…safe, secure in knowing they were friends and they were close by. She smiled at them and waved as Joe drove away.

14-21


	4. Adopted

**Adopted**

_Dear Journal,_

_I have finally accepted Joe and Betty's offer to adopt me. I know that a couple years ago I said I wanted them to, but actually committing to it; well, that was scary for me. I guess deep down inside I was afraid I would lose them, too. But the way they, Joe, especially stayed with me when I was in the hospital with my heart surgery convinced me that they would not go away. I'm so excited to finally be part of a forever, loving family._

_John and I see each other whenever we can. Now that I'm being homeschooled I have more than enough teachers between the guys at work, and the guys at station 51. John and I are never alone, and we don't talk about personal stuff, but somehow, just being together, we have been able to share our lives with each other. He is so proper with me, and I think it's really cool._

_I have to be careful with my health. I've suffered some complications recently; the most severe is epilepsy. The doctors are sure it is a side effect from my heart medication. To make matters worse, I also now have asthma, and my inhaler could trigger a seizure. _

_Julie, my best friend for years, is a great support for me and keeps an eye on me when she's not in school. But she get annoying once in a while. She talks all the time about her boyfriend, and then goes ga-ga whenever she sees Johnny. She doesn't know anything of our friendship, and I won't tell her. Johnny is Lakota Indian and to speak of our friendship would be dishonorable to our relationship. I don't know how I know that, but somehow, Johnny told me. _

_~Kelly_

Fifteen-year-old Kelly positioned herself under the volleyball flying her way and set up to return. She, along with her guardians and friends from fire station 51 and the CHP were enjoying a Fourth of July/Adoption party. As of July 3rd, Kelly was officially adopted and no longer a foster child. It took her awhile to warm up to the idea of adoption, but she finally agreed to be part of a forever family. Sargent Joe Getraer of the California Highway Patrol, and his wife, Betty along with their two young adult kids, Holly and Tim, decided they wanted Kelly to have a permanent home, and offered to share their lives and love with Kelly. Kelly wasn't sure about the sergeant and his wife adopting her even though she had lived with them for several years, but during her time in the hospital and recovery afterward, she saw their genuine love for her and finally accepted their offer. Now they were celebrating.

Kelly wondered how everyone managed to get the day off, but she guessed they had worked hard to arrange it for her benefit.

The ball came flying back and again she knocked it over the net. Only this time the ball bounced out of bounds. Laughing at the ribbing she got, she gave it right back. Ponch, Chet, Marco and Sarj were on one side of the net while Johnny, Roy, Jon and Kelly made up the other team. Betty, Bonnie, Emily (Captain Stanley's wife), and JoAnne were setting out the mounds of food on the nearby picnic tables. Cap was driving the ski boat with Dixie and Dr. Early as his passengers, and Barry Baricza and Mike Stoker taking their turns at the skis. Grossie and Harlan were flying kites with the younger kids.

Only two people couldn't make it; Julie, her best friend had a harp recital as part a Fourth-of July celebration in her grandparents' small town, and Dr. Brackett. Dr. Brackett at first did not approve of his staff getting involved with a patient; and now, after seeing how well she got along, he was not comfortable in her circle of family. Perhaps it was that he felt guilty for initially rejecting her. Perhaps "reject" was too strong a word, but no other could he find to describe the guilt he know felt. So when the invitation was given for him to join the celebration, he gave some excuse and declined.

Kelly wore dark blue walking shorts with a red and white striped tee-shirt that was gathered up at the hem and knotted on one side. She stood out among the other females who wore shorts over swimsuits or bikinis. Knowing Johnny, her "Warrior Strong Heart", would be around, she insisted on being modest.

Again, the volleyball bounced off Kelly's fingers and sprang over the net. It landed with a thunk in the warm sand, and she mentally scored one with a smile. Ponch picked it up and was ready to serve it when Betty called out, "Dinner! Come and get it!" Emily was at the edge of the water waving her hands to get her husband's attention.

Kelly felt the sand squish between her toes as she left the volleyball pit and headed toward the shade and the picnic tables. All these people where her family, though she was not biologically related. For the past five years, Kelly had lived among them. They had all cared for her and supported her, especially now she had developed epilepsy and asthma because of the heart medications she had to take. Drs. Early and Brackett were monitoring her for early signs of type two diabetes as well. However, with routine checkups, medication and her own heightened awareness of her body signals, Kelly had been nearly symptom free of all health problems for almost six months.

After her heart surgery, Kelly decided to be homeschooled, and she was not short of instructors. She found that she excelled through a distance-learning program, and was well able to work it in with her many doctor appointments and community service projects. She had not only completed her ninth grade, but by doubling up on some classes, she also completed her tenth grade year several months earlier than her friend, Julie.

Twenty-two year old Johnny, as he always did, managed to get beside Kelly as they walked toward the table, though he did not look at her or give any signal as to the pulling of his heart. Kelly, likewise, though very conscious of his presence, bantered with Ponch and Chet, and even managed to ask the younger kids how high they got their kites to fly.

Cap and his boat crew drew the boat up and joined the gathering crowd. Everyone paused for a moment while Sarj cleared his throat. "I want to thank you for joining us today," Joe started as he looked around at the happy faces. His eyes gazed long at Kelly and everyone turned to look at her, too. She looked steadily and confidently back at her adopted father. "This is an important moment in our lives and we wanted to share it with you. Without your help, we wouldn't have Kelly with us today. She may be our new daughter, but to everyone here, she is family. We are all family!" He swept his arm around to show he included everyone. The group cheered, and began passing around plates, potato salad, hot dogs, chips, drink and the pie.

Johnny, who managed to sit across from Kelly at the picnic table took the offered plate of orange slices and slipped a couple onto his plate. With a smile he held the plate across the table to Kelly. She briefly met his eyes and carefully took the plate, making sure her hand did not touch his. She smiled in return, took three orange slices and gave the plate back to him. He noted the number she took and inwardly sighed. He was content, but impatient. Impatient at what? He wasn't sure, but over the past couple years he realized that in time his Spirit Guide would let him know. Right now, he was happy to make sure Kelly was OK, to protect her and to be one of many "big brothers" to her. But somehow, he knew she didn't REALLY see him that way. How did she see him? He desperately wanted to know. However, he was 22 and she only 15. He was a fireman, a gentleman and a Lakota. She was only a girl – by white man ways. Johnny knew he had to live by the white man's ways.

Kelly was so aware of Warrior Strong Heart's presence. It was easier to look in his eyes now, especially in festive group surroundings, but Kelly generally kept her gaze on his badge if he was in uniform or on his shoulder if he was wearing street clothes. As much as she tried to treat him as another "big brother," she knew he wasn't. True she was 15 and a minor, and he was 22, a man, she had bound his heart to hers. She knew so much about him – his trouble past, the loss of his parents, the difficulties accepting white man ways, the dedication to his job, yet they had spoken so little to each other. Moreover, never had the two of them been alone. Oh no! He would not allow that. She knew that his Lakota heritage and his fireman training would only allow him to be nothing but the best gentleman around her. That is why she wore shorts and tee-shirt today instead of a swimsuit, to show him she understood. It had not gone unnoticed by him.

As she slid the three oranges on to her plate, she knew they were a sign to him, but she was unsure of what. Why three oranges? She usually took two, but this time three. She handed the plate back to John with a look and a smile. John took the plate and handed it down to Chris, Roy's son who was sitting next to him.

Kelly slipped her spoon into the mound of potato salad and lifted it to her mouth. She enjoyed the creamy coolness as it spread across her tongue. She glanced down at her plate to refill her spoon and realized her plate was blurry. She stabbed her spoon into the potato salad and tried to get it to her mouth, but her hand seemed to quit working properly. Potato salad smeared across her cheek. Johnny noticed the change of behavior and the look fear that crossed Kelly's face.

"Kelly!" he yelled, as he dropped his plastic fork onto his plate and sprang around the table. He caught Kelly just as she fell back in a seizure. She writhed and twisted in his arms while he gently laid her on the sandy ground. Then grabbing a napkin he wiped the sweat beading on her forehead and the potatoy saliva that drooled from her mouth.

Instantly the festive crowd quieted. Dixie and Dr. Early ran to get their medical bag from the nearby car while Roy joined John at Kelly's twitching side. John looked over at Roy with fear-filled eyes while they protected Kelly from herself and waited for Dixie and Dr. Early.

After an eternity, with the nurse and doctor at Kelly's side, the girl stopped writhing. Roy, sensing that Johnny would not be of much help moved over to help while Johnny stayed down by Kelly's feet. He was scared for her – for himself.

Slowly Kelly regained her senses and finally allowed to sit up. Dixie brushed the sand from the girl's hair while Roy and Dr. Early retook vital signs and administered an IV drug. Dr. Early decided that Kelly could stay while they finished the picnic and even for a bit afterward but he wanted to check her out at the hospital before going home.

Dixie stayed close beside Kelly as did Betty and Joe, and John wasn't very far away. Kelly finally got up and went back to the picnic table with Dixie holding the IV bag and Joe supporting her arm, and slowly everyone resumed their conversations and eating. Kelly longed for Warrior Strong Heart to comfort her. She glanced over at John and he got her message loud and clear. He returned her gaze then dropped his eyes and looked away. His action told her that though he would like to, it would not be appropriate.

After the meal, Dixie and Dr. Early suggested they go back and take Kelly with them so they could check her out. Joe and Betty readily agreed. Betty gathered up Kelly's things and joined Dixie at the car.

John watched the fifteen-year-old as Dixie carefully led her to the car. He was so worried about her.

"Hey partner, don't worry, she'll be OK." Roy spoke in John's ear causing him to jump.

"Oh, I know, Roy." John replied quickly. "I just feel bad for her, I'm sure she is so embarrassed about what happened."

Dr. Early pulled into the hospital parking lot and put the car into park. Jumping out, he briskly walked into the hospital and grabbed a nearby wheelchair while Dixie and Betty helped Kelly out of the car. They eased her into the waiting chair and then Dr. Early pushed her inside with Dixie holding the IV bag up. Mable, the charge nurse directed them into treatment four. Kelly helped herself out of the chair and onto the exam table grateful for the assistance she received. Epileptic seizures completely wore her out. One more time Dr. Early and Dixie checked her vitals, and then set up for an EKG. After studying the strip for a few seconds, Dr. Early leaned close to Kelly. He had her attention.

"Well, Kelly," he said with a twinkle in his eye, "I think you are going to live. I'm not completely sure, so how about you spend the night here. That way if you die, we'll just send you down to the morgue and not bother the coroner in the middle of the night."

Kelly chuckled. Dr. Early turned to Betty. "She's going to be fine. However, I would like to have her for 18-hour observation. I want to do some blood work on her and monitor her heart and lungs for any reactions to the seizure.

"She's all yours," Betty replied.

"Fine. Just as soon as we have a bed ready for her upstairs, we'll get her moved." Dr. Early patted Kelly's arm as he walked out.

Betty stepped over to her new daughter and brushed her hair out of her eyes. Kelly caught her hand and held it. "I'm so sorry I messed everything up," she apologized. "I…

Shh, Kelly, don't worry about it. There is nothing of which to be embarrassed. I'm just glad Johnny was there to catch you. Remember, we all know you, so we all accept it as a fact of your life. Did you notice no one made a big deal of it?"

Kelly's face reddened slightly at Johnny's name, and Betty noticed it.  
"You like Johnny, don't you," she asked secretively, as if she thought he was good looking herself.

Kelly nodded, her face burning red. Dare she tell her new mom? Tell her what? Kelly thought she knew, but she couldn't voice it. Not yet.

At the nurses' station, the phone rang. Dixie answered it even though she was in street clothes and obviously off duty.

"Dixie, this is Johnny. How's Kelly?"  
"Kelly's fine, John. Dr. Early is going to keep her overnight to do some blood work on her and observe her for any side effects. You don't need to worry about her, OK?"

"Dixie," John wasn't going to let her get off that easily. "Do you think I could come see her tonight? Will you be there?"

Ever discerning, Dixie realized that John had a special attachment to this young woman. And, while her gut feeling said John would never do anything to Kelly, he did have a reputation…

"John, do you think you should? I mean she is only fifteen…"

Disappointment flowed from his voice as he agreed. "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry Dixie. Bye." Click, John hung up.

Dixie held the phone in her hand a moment longer until she saw Sergeant Getraer coming toward her. She dropped the phone into its cradle and faced the sergeant with a smile. "Kelly's fine. She will be here overnight, however. If you'll give me just a minute, I'll find out what room they have moved her to and you can go see her. OK?"

Joe smiled in return, relieved that Kelly was not seriously ill. Soon he followed Dixie to Kelly's door. Dixie opened it and stepped aside to let the good sergeant enter. His eyes swept the room. Kelly was propped up in bed and seemed comfortable enough. Joe moved to the side of Kelly's bed, took her hand and told her how glad he was she is going to be OK. They chatted for a few minutes and then, needing to leave, Joe and Betty promised they would be back in the morning. With a light kiss on Kelly's forehead from both her new parents, they turned to go, with Joe reaching for his lovely wife's hand. Hand in hand, they reached the door. Joe opened it up and then allowed his wife to slip through, he following immediately behind so as not to break the handhold he so lovingly created. Kelly watched them go, amazed that even with two grown children and a new teenager, they were not afraid to be affectionate. Kelly stared at the door as it closed, wondering what the vision, it was a vision, wasn't it, meant.

Dixie wasn't so quick to leave.

"Kelly," Dixie made sure she had Kelly's attention. "I just received a call from one John Gage asking if he could come see you." Kelly was already blushing on hearing that name. "Tell me," Dixie demanded, "What is going on."

Kelly didn't say anything for a moment. The Lakota did not talk about personal relationships or their affections toward another person; John had somehow told her that. To talk about one's affections to someone else is to desecrate its sacredness. She sighed and looked deep into Dixie's eyes. "John (that word seemed so simple, how she wanted to say Warrior Strong Heart)… Johnny will someday be my husband." The sound of those words coming out of her mouth shocked even Kelly. It was if all the pieces had finally jumped into place.

Dixie was surprised at the seriousness of Kelly's simple statement. It wasn't a gush or a childish crush or dream. Kelly was serious and thrilled. Happiness poured from every syllable she spoke.

"I see." Dixie managed. "And how do you know this?"

Kelly couldn't explain it, except in Lakota terms. Every word she said surprised her. "John has bound my heart to his and I have bound his heart to mine. I have known that from the time I was 11 when I saw him carrying the stretcher with my dead foster mother on it. I knew then he would someday be my husband."

Dixie digested this a moment and asked, "Does John know this?"

Kelly nodded. "Yes, he does." Suddenly Kelly turned to Dixie, her heart ready to burst. "Oh Dixie, John and I love each other so much! Our spirits are one. Our love comes from our hearts, not from our mouths. It is from our hearts we have gotten to know each other. I have never spent a moment alone with him, we have never spoken our love from our lips, but whenever we see each other, our hearts leap with joy and love. I know he loves me, maybe even more than I love him! Don't you see, someday we will be husband and wife." Tears of joy ran down Kelly's face as the realization that she could finally verbalize what had been growing in her heart for all these years.

"Dixie, his heart is so bound to mine, that other women don't interest him anymore. But his first job is to protect me and so he has said nothing and will do nothing to hurt my heart. For he breaks my heart, his is also broken."

The nurse realized what Kelly had said was true. John no longer chased other nurses. He was quick to greet a new nurse and introduce himself, but it went no further.

Dixie handed Kelly a water glass, and the girl gratefully sipped the cool liquid. She handed it back to Dixie who placed it on the bed stand.

"Do you want John to come visit you tonight?" the nurse asked.

Kelly's eyes lit up with joy. "Oh Dixie, could you stay long enough so he could come? He will not come unless he knows you are with us. John will protect my heart until the day we are married. Then he will protect our souls until the day he dies. If he knows you will be with us, he will come. Please?"

Dixie smiled and put a restraining hand on the girl's shoulder. I'll give him a call right now," she said.

Dixie let herself into Dr. Brackett's office and dialed Johnny's home number. He answered it on the second ring. "Hello, John Gage."

"Johnny, this is Dixie. Do you still want to come down to see Kelly?" Dixie asked a bit mischievously.

"Oh, Dixie, don't fool around with me," Johnny almost cried.

"I'm not fooling, John; I'm serious!" Dixie retorted.

"I'll be right over!" Johnny almost slammed the phone into the cradle and then pressed it against his ear again. "Thanks!," he shouted into receiver, and plunked the phone down.

Grabbing his keys he sprinted out the door and down into his Rover. He chafed at the 45 mph speed limit, but soon arrived in the hospital parking lot. Jamming the car into park, he jumped out and raced to the door. He paused briefly to compose himself and then walked in. He found Dixie at her familiar post, the base station, though John noted how odd it was to see her in a pink and blue sundress instead of her normal white uniform.

"Hi Johnny," she smiled. "Before we go up to see her, I need to talk to you." Johnny's heart was briefly disappointed, but he nodded and followed her into Dr. Brackett's office. Shutting the door, she moved around to face him.

"Kelly talked," she said simply, and Johnny's Lakota heart despaired. Yet he held Dixie's gaze waiting for more. Dixie was silent.

John broke the uncomfortable silence with the question he dreaded to ask. "What did she say?" He feared the answer and dropped his eyes.

Dixie gently touched Johnny's chin to lift his face and made him look at her. "Kelly said the most beautiful thing a woman could say about a man." Dixie also wanted to speak to John's heart.

John wasn't sure he heard correctly. Did Dixie say "woman?" Did she say "man?" The words slowly penetrated his befuddled mind. He smiled as tears pooled in his eyes. He understood. Fully.

Then Dixie moved her had to his shoulder and gave him a sharp squeeze. "Don't ever violate the sacred love you used to bind her heart to yours." Without waiting for a response, she turned and walked through the door.

John was startled. Dixie was speaking Lakota. Yes, it was English, but she spoke as though her heart was Lakota. Where did she get those words? Kelly, yes, Kelly must have spoken to her with the heart of a Lakota. It was then John realized how much he had spoken to the young woman Kelly through his Lakota soul.

He jumped up, hurried out the door, and found Dixie waiting for him at the elevator. Without a word or a look, he joined her as the doors swooshed shut. Two minutes later Dixie quietly knocked and peeked in. Kelly was reading a magazine but looked up at the sound of a door opening.

"Kelly, you have a visitor," she said quietly as she stepped aside and let Johnny in. Dixie moved in behind him and busied herself with some made-up tasks. John stood awkwardly at the door for just a minute before Kelly invited him forward with a wave of her hand. She dropped the magazine to her side and waited for him to come closer to her. He slowly walked to the side of her bed, and after a moment's hesitation, he sat down on it next to her.

"Hey," John greeted quietly looking at her. His heart was calm with the assurance of her love.

"Hey," Kelly said in return. With his simple greeting, she now understood that he knew her heart. Dixie must have told him.

Again, there was silence. "Are you OK?" John asked her, knowing she was, but trying to find something to say.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Uh, um, thanks for catching me. I guess you move pretty fast."

John chuckled a bit and looked down. "Yeah, well, I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Dr. Early says I'll probably be leaving here tomorrow afternoon. Do you have to work tomorrow morning?" Kelly asked, hoping she would be able to see her Warrior Strong Heart one more time before she left the hospital.

"Yeah, I have to work tomorrow." As if he read her heart, he added, "I will try to see you one more time before you go, OK?"

Kelly quickly looked at him, full in his eyes and smiled, her eyes shouting "I love you!" Then looking down she quietly replied, ""That would be great. Thanks."

After another moment of silence, Johnny moved to go. He finally reached out and carefully patted Kelly's blanket covered knee. The gesture was as a seal of promise between the two of them, but to Dixie, it looked like nothing more than a friendly act.

John stood up. "Well, Kelly, I've got to go. I'm glad you're doing OK. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow, OK?" He thrilled at saying her name.

"Thanks, Johnny for coming by. I appreciated it, a lot." Kelly smiled at her Warrior Strong Heart.

Dixie opened the door and let John out. Turning, she gave Kelly a quick wink and slipped out the door.

Kelly smiled, shifted in her bed and closed her eyes. She was going to be just fine. Before she went to sleep however, she decided she need to write in her journal. Opening her eyes, she turned over, retrieved her beloved book and clicked open the pen.

_Dear Journal,_

_I can't believe what happened to day. It is so embarrassing and then so thrilling, and then so reassuring…I can't tell you how many emotions are going through my mind right now._

_I had a seizure today during our picnic. Johnny caught me as I fell back and kept me from hurting myself._

_I'm in the hospital right now for an overnight observation Betty and Joe – er – Mom and Dad were here for a few minutes to make sure I am OK. When they left, they were holding hands. It struck me. Here they have two grown kids, and now a new teenager and they still love each other to hold hands in public. I wonder if that is a vision of my future with John. _

_Anyway, it seems that Miss McCall has noticed that there is something between John and me. Boy, she's clever! She came right to the point and made me talk. I didn't know how to answer her at first, but finally just blurted everything that was building in my heart. Do you know what I told her? I told her that John and I would someday be married. I couldn't believe what I was saying! Words just poured out of my mouth in a great refreshing release. Oh how my heart had wanted to say them for so long! She took it very calmly and almost as if she had expected me to say what I did. Anyway, about twenty minutes later she brought Johnny up._

_Miss McCall must have told John what I told her because he when he came in, he actually sat down on the bed beside me, and he looked at me very differently. When I had the courage to look at him, there was no longer pleading and uncertainly in his eyes, it was total, pure, deep love. We didn't say much, but sometimes words don't go deep enough. What we shared with our looks was far deeper than words._

_Do you know what he did before he left? He touched me – kind of. OK, so he's touched me before, but that was when I was in seizure or otherwise not conscious. This time he patted the blankets that covered my knee and lower leg. That touch told me he will wait for me to grow into adulthood. I hope I can see him tomorrow before I leave._

_Kelly_

Closing the journal, and with one more shift of her body on the firm mattress, Kelly went to sleep.

_Max,_

_Kelly had a seizure this afternoon while we were at a picnic. She was sitting across from me at the table when she suddenly tensed up, and then fell back seizing. I was by her side before I thought, and Roy was right beside me. It seemed like Kelly would never stop, but finally she relaxed. Dixie and Dr. Early were right there with their medical supplies and soon had Kelly up again. I'm sure she was embarrassed but, fortunately the others didn't over react. They all know Kelly well enough accept her seizures. _

_Kelly's in the hospital now for an overnight observation. I called when I got home and asked Dixie if I could come visit her and at first she said no. But then she called back and told me that if I wanted to, I could come._

_I hope I didn't break any speed limits getting to the hospital! Before Dixie would take me to see Kelly, she led me to Dr. Brackett's office so she could talk. I was worried, then surprised at what she told me. It was very simple, but answers all my questions; she told me that Kelly talked, and what she had to say was the most beautiful thing a woman could say about a man._

_Oh, I love my Kelly! When I actually got to see her, she looked just fine. Her eyes were confident and so expressive; they just poured forth all the feelings she's had for me for the past four years. My heart pounded at the sight of her peaceful, calm face and the pure love she showed for me. _

_We spoke a few words, and then I was brave enough to pat her knee (with the blankets covering it, of course!). I hope she understands that I have promised myself to her. Oh, this is a good day for me._

_~John_

The next morning, Betty arrived at the hospital ready to spend the next couple of hours with her new daughter. Dixie, just arriving herself saw her and smiled a greeting. "Hi Betty, did you sleep well?"

"Oh, hi, Dixie. Yes, I did. How's Kelly?"

"Kelly is just fine," Dixie replied assuredly. "But woman to woman, I think I need to tell you something. Let's get a cup of coffee before we go see her, OK?"

"O-K," Betty replied, wondering what Dixie was saying.

Opening the door, both women glanced around, relieved to find it empty. Dixie showed Betty a place to sit at the small round table while she went to the shelf of coffee mugs and pulled down two. "Coffee?" she asked as she poured herself a cup.

"Yes, please. Thank you" Betty replied as Dixie placed the steaming mug on the table. Pouring a second cup, Dixie sat down opposite Betty and took a sip. Setting the mug on the table, Dixie cleared her throat looked at Betty. Betty gazed back at her.

"Do you know John Gage?" Dixie asked.

"Yes, he's one of the paramedics at, uh, station 51, isn't he?" Betty replied wondering what Dixie had in mind.

"You know he is Lakota Indian?" Dixie still wasn't revealing the reason for the questions.

"I figured he was Native American of some kind, but I didn't know he was Lakota." Betty replied.

"I had a talk with Kelly last night and then with John. I have a responsibility to keep my conversations with patients confidential, but as you are Kelly's parent, and she is a minor, I thought you needed to know; they are in love with each other." Dixie stopped at looked at Betty to see her reaction.

Mildly surprised, but not really, Betty held Dixie's gaze waiting for Dixie to say more.

After a moment, Dixie did continue. "I want you to know that I have John and Kelly's individual words of honor that he, as a Lakota, a gentleman and as a fireman, will not do anything to defile Kelly until the day they are married."

"Married?" Betty asked, startled. "They plan to marry? She is only fifteen!" Now Betty was alarmed.

Dixie reached out and put her hand on Betty's arm. "Betty, they know that. John will not see Kelly if they are alone. He has not kissed her or even put his hands on her except in medical emergencies such as yesterday. John will not ask Kelly to be his wife until she is ready to hear the words – until she is a legal woman. I promise you that, because John has promised that. He is Lakota and will not break his word."

Betty remained quiet but smiled gratefully at Dixie. Quietly they understood this talk would not go beyond the room.

Dixie took one more sip of her coffee and stood up. "Now, let's see if Kelly's awake."

Just then the hospital PA system announced, "Miss McCall to ER three, Miss McCall, ER three!"

"I can get to Kelly's room, Dixie, don't worry." Betty smiled at her friend. "And Dixie, thanks, for everything."

Dixie smiled and rushed out the door to the emergency awaiting her.

Betty quietly opened the door to Kelly's room and walked in. Kelly was just finishing her breakfast. As the nurse gathered her food tray, Betty approached. "Hi Kelly, sleep well?"

Kelly looked up and smiled. "Mm-Hmm, I did." She stretched, sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "Dr. Early's been here, too. He said he would do a blood test on me after breakfast, so I'm sure he'll be here before too long. Once he gets the results back, we can go. He's thinking between two and three o'clock."

"That's fine, Kelly. I'm prepared to spend the morning with you, if you want." Betty smiled at new daughter. "I also brought your sweats and comfortable tee-shirt, if you want them."

"Oh, I do! I think I'm going to jump in the shower quick so I can feel freshened up." With that, Kelly jumped off the bed and hurried to the bathroom. Soon the sounds of a warm shower filtered under the door. Betty picked up the magazine, sat in a corner chair and waited. A few minutes later Kelly emerged dressed in her comfortable clothes and rubbing a towel over her wet hair.

Down in the ER, Dixie rushed into treatment room three. John and Roy were in there, John using the ambu-bag on the male patient, and Roy doing CPR.

"Dixie – we're doing a trach!" Dr. Brackett yelled, as he thrust his hands into the offered gloves. Dixie grabbed a wrapped tray and deftly set it by Brackett's quickly moving hand. Soon a breathing tube was in place and the patient had a normal heart rhythm.

Dixie, Johnny and Roy left the room and headed for the base station, relieved their patient would live another day. Roy pulled a list of supplies he needed for the squad while Johnny kept glancing at Dixie. Dixie didn't miss it. Finally, she jerked her head a little toward the elevator. Johnny was confused. He did not want to go into Kelly's room by himself, and he did not know Betty was there, so he hesitated.

Finally, Dixie turned to him and said, "Johnny. Go. It's OK; Betty's there." At that, Johnny turned and hurried toward the elevator.

"Johnny, where you are going?" Roy called after the retreating form.

"Roy, it's OK. He won't be gone long. If you guys get called, I'll make sure he knows, OK?" Dixie assured the paramedic.

Kelly was rubbing her wet hair with the towel when Johnny knocked on the door. Kelly quickly grabbed a brush to run through her tangled locks while Betty opened the door.

"Johnny, come in!" Betty invited cheerily.

"Uh, oh, thanks, Mrs. Getraer" Johnny replied shy and awkward. He walked into the room and saw Kelly brushing her wet hair. He immediately dropped his eyes and color flushed his cheeks.

"Johnny, it's 'Betty.'" Betty reminded the embarrassed young man. "Kelly, I was just going to run down to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast. Do you mind if I go now?" Betty asked, trying to ease the tension and give the young couple some time alone.

Both Kelly and Johnny looked alarmed at the idea.

"NO!" Kelly almost shouted moving to block the door. "Please, just stay here a minute or two." She looked at John for assurance. He glanced at her and smiled with a slight nod of his head.

Betty looked over at Johnny, saw the relief in his face and agreed to stay.

"Uh, OK. I suppose I could wait a minute. I'll just tidy up the room a little." Betty retreated to a corner and hid behind a magazine.

"I'm glad you came, Johnny," Kelly said, shyly. "I was hoping to see you again."

"Roy and I had to bring a patient in – pretty bad, but I think he is going to be OK."

Kelly moved around to face Johnny, her brush forgotten in her hand. But she looked at his badge while she told him, "Doctor Early says I can go home this afternoon – if my tests are OK. Probably about 2 or 3."

Johnny looked down at the woman he loved. "Good."

"When will I see you again?" Kelly asked, glancing into his eyes.

"I'll try to arrange it so it can be soon," John replied tenderly.

Just then the phone rang. Betty answered it and then turned to John. "John, your partner. You've been called out."

"Thanks, Mrs. … uh Betty." With a quick smile at Kelly and a look of love pouring from his eyes, he darted out the door.

Kelly sighed and turned to her new mom.

"Kelly," Betty said after a moment. "I will be honored to call him my son-in-law."

Kelly smiled, tears forming in her eyes. Dropping her brush on the bed, she rushed to her true mother and enveloped her in a huge hug. It was indeed a great day.

Dear Katy,

Kelly is back in the hospital. Nothing serious; just an overnight observation following a seizure she had yesterday. Fortunately, that nice young paramedic, John was right there and kept her safe. John and Kelly have had a special friendship for several years now; but it was only this morning did I find out how serious it was. Dixie McCall, the head nurse at Rampart took me aside this morning and told me that the two plan to one day get married. Let me tell you that sure got me going; I mean Kelly is only fifteen! But Dixie assured me that John and Kelly haven't and won't do anything foolish until Kelly is legally and emotionally ready to marry.

Looking back at it, John has always been nothing but the most honorable of gentlemen around Kelly. Dixie told me he will not allow himself to be alone with Kelly; and they hardly say a word to each other. But somehow, something is there between the two of them. As long as he remains as honorable as he has been to our Kelly, I do approve of their relationship.

Dixie told me John is Lakota Indian and that seems to have something to do with how he treats Kelly.

I was in Kelly's room this morning when John knocked on the door and came in. I saw firsthand how the two interact with each other. I have to say, it's cute. They are so shy around each other, but I can feel they have some sort of magical connection. They are so good for each other; they really are. However, three years is a long time to wait until Kelly is 18. Will John be able to wait that long? Somehow, I think he will.

15-22


	5. Strength

**Strength**

_Dear Journal,_

_I thought having Joe and Betty adopt me would make life easier, almost idyllic for me. That hasn't been the case. Well, mostly it has, but Betty uh mom has a co-worker that makes life miserable. Delores is convinced that because I was first a foster child, I will never amount to anything. She is so snoopy! It seems like she drives around looking for trouble. The other day she "just" happened to drive by 51 and saw me in the bay with Chet and Marco. It doesn't matter that mom knew I was there; it doesn't matter that we were using the engine as an object lesson for physics. Delores was convinced that I was up to no good there. She called mom so fast; and of course, mom told her off. But Delores has a mouth and she is doing her part to ruin reputations. Fortunately, many of the people she tries to gossip with know the real story and try to stop her, but she won't be stopped._

_John has told me to not worry about her, to just continue living a truthful, honest life; which I do, but I still worry. I am really getting tired of Delores._

_My asthma is getting worse with all this smog. I would like it to go away, but it won't, not for now anyway._

_The older I get, the more I worry about John's safety. I don't know if I will have the strength to be a fireman's wife; I might have to take some mental strength classes from Joanne and Emily._

_Kelly_

"Sure, Delores, I'll be happy to work your shift for you at the nursing home," Betty replied through a sigh into the phone as she wiped the table from the morning meal. She really was not all that thrilled to be working for the most annoying busy body in town.

"What time do you start? 2:30? And, you're done at 6:30? Oh, well, let me see…" Betty dropped the rag and reached for her calendar. "Kelly has a doctor's appointment at 2:00…and then will stay at the hospital for her chemistry lab….

"What? No. The lab tech, Sarah helps Kelly's with her chemistry experiments….

"Say again, Delores? Yes, Kelly is receiving an excellent education. There are many excellent programs for students who find it hard to be in a classroom….

"Let's see, I could pick her up from the hospital on the way home, or the squad could bring her back…

"Oh, I was just musing to myself…..

"Delores, the paramedics are just fine! Best gentlemen I've ever seen….

"Kelly's a great girl, … well, Delores, you know, this may be more complicated than I realized. Do you REALLY need me to work?" By the tone of Betty's voice, Delores know she was hitting too close with her questions and comments, and risked losing someone to work for her. She back off, but was irked at Betty and Joe's decision to adopt some no-good foster child, let her run with a bunch of firemen, and call some half-cocked mail order school an _excellent_ education. Deloris decided she would just make sure that her boy Tommy would NEVER hang around with that no-good girl, Kelly

"I'm sorry, Betty," Deloris sounded apologetic into the phone. "I suppose I don't need to worry about your family."

'Yes, I believe that would be a good idea, Delores, for you to not worry about my family." Betty let out a sigh. "And, Delores, Kelly **is** part of my family."

"So, you'll work for me at 2:30," the nosey woman asked, making sure Betty was still planning to work.

"Yes, yes, 2:30, I'll be there." Betty placed the phone on the wall mount a little harder than necessary. Delores could really drive her nuts sometimes. Betty studied the calendar a bit more and then went to the bottom of the stairs.

"Kelly!"

Upstairs in her room, sixteen-year-old Kelly was trying to work out a geometry problem, but not having much luck with it. Actually, she found herself staring at a picture of her and John taken on the day of the picnic this past summer; and was daydreaming about the day they would be married.

"Kelly?" Betty called again.

"Yes, Mom?" Kelly suddenly came to earth and realized her mom was calling.

Betty climbed the steps and came into Kelly's room. Briefly, she looked over Kelly's work and realized the girl was having a hard time focusing.

"Kelly, I have to work for Delores at 2:30. It's 1:00 now. You have a doctor's appointment at 2:00. Do you think if I took you to the station, Mike could help you with your geometry? Hopefully you can catch a ride to the hospital in the squad. What do you think? I only work until 6:30, so I can pick you up at Rampart, or the squad can bring you home, if they aren't on a run. It really does look like you need help."

Kelly smiled at her mom. "Yeah, I am having a hard time focusing today. My only question is if the squad is out on a run, how do I get to the hospital in time for my appointment?"

"I think Dixie can quickly come get you," her mom replied. "I'm going to call the hospital and the station right now to see if it works. You get your stuff together, OK?"

Kelly walked into the kitchen a few minutes later just as Betty hung up the phone. "Everything is worked out, Kelly," Betty told her daughter as she picked up her keys. "If the squad gets called out before you need to be at the hospital, Dixie will pick you up." Kelly smiled and nodded, but didn't say anything.

She followed her mom out to the car and jumped in. A few minutes later, Betty pulled into the fire station driveway and let Kelly out. She quietly opened the side door into the kitchen, startling Marco and Chet who were mopping and dusting.

"Kelly, what brings you here?" Marco asked as he moved his mop aside. He reached out a hand to help Kelly over the wet floor.

"I'm having trouble with my geometry and was hoping Mike could help me," Kelly replied. She glanced around trying to see if John or Mike were close by.

"Mike's out back hanging house with Roy," Chet replied. "Cap's in his office and John's trying to…"

"Trying to what…Hi Kelly!," Twenty-three-year-old John said lighting up as he saw "his" girl while walking into the kitchen. Kelly glanced at his face, and then, with blushing cheeks she replied, "Hi John. What were you trying to do?" She walked over to the table and dropped her backpack onto it. Marco went out back and called Mike in.

John caught her glance, her self-conscious smile and flashed her a quick smile in return. "Oh, I heard a rattle in the squad and I am trying to get it taken care of. Everyone thinks I'm just hearing things." He reached for a water glass on the drain board filled it from the tap. Downing the water in three gulps, he held up another cup. "Care for some water?" John asked.

"Sure, I would love to have some," Kelly replied.  
Quickly, John filled up the second cup. Setting on the table by Kelly, he gave her one more grin before returning to the squad just as Mike came in.

Quickly, Mike and Kelly settled in at the table. With head bent over her geometry book, Kelly forced herself to pay attention to Mike's careful instruction. It helped that John stayed out in the bay. He knew he would be a distraction if he went back into the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later, Kelly completed her assignment and had a much better grasp on theorems. Mike had a great way of putting life into the boring subject by relating it to fighting fires.

As Kelly gathered her books and paper, Captain Stanley came into the kitchen. "Kelly, it's about time for you to get to the hospital. Your mom called me and asked if John and Roy could take you, and I told her that wouldn't be a problem. Are you OK with it?"

Kelly nodded as she picked up her bag. "Sure, that's fine. Thanks, Cap, for letting them take me." Inwardly, Kelly was thrilled to be riding the squad with Johnny sitting right beside her.

"Ok, well, you head out there while I get Roy, OK?" Kelly pushed in her chair at the table and walked out to the bay. Captain followed her out and went to the back door to call Roy in.

John scooted out from underneath the vehicle and stood up. He pushed the creeper out of the way and gathered up his tools. "Hey Kelly," he greeted her again. "Cap says you need a ride to the hospital?" He opened the passenger door and motioned for her to get in. Then he slid in next to her and slammed the door shut. Roy came in from the back and climbed into the driver's seat.

"Yeah, I have a doctor's appointment with Early, and then Sarah Mitchell is going to help me with my chemistry lab."

"Is everything OK?" Johnny ventured to ask. "I mean, you haven't had any

problems, have you?"

"No, just a regular check-up. My parents and the doc are keeping a close eye on me since that seizure a couple months ago at the picnic." Kelly replied, looking out the windshield. "And now with all this smog, I'm having a hard time breathing; my asthma is really bad. So I guess you can call this an air filter check and tune up," she joked as Roy pulled the squad out of the bay.

"Well, you make sure you don't overdo it, OK? Are you using your breathing mask at night?" John asked her.

"Yes, I'm using my breathing mask at night," Kelly replied, with an annoyed look at John. She did not like using that beast. "It's really uncomfortable, and I really wish I had a nasal cannula to use, but Dr. Early won't give me the cannula, because the face mask will guarantee I get the medicine down into my lungs if I breathe through my nose or my mouth. With this smog, he says it's vital the medicine gets to where it is supposed to go."

"Oh, I see," John replied. "Hopefully the Santa Ana winds will blow soon and clear this all out." He enjoyed talking with Kelly, and felt more comfortable around her. Ever since her seizure last summer, John and Kelly were at peace knowing what their future held. But, they kept the depth of their relationship secret, so no one but a very few people knew how much they really were in love with each other.

Soon, Roy backed into the parking lot reserved for the squad and all three got out. Roy walked right into the hospital, while John and Kelly lingered for just a bit. "I hope your appointment turns out OK," John said quietly as he picked up Kelly's backpack. "Was it geometry you were working on with Mike?" He glanced at her briefly and then took a step toward the hospital entrance.  
"Yes, it was," Kelly replied as they walked through the hospital doors together. "I could not focus on my assignment today. I guess I was dreaming about my – our future." Kelly glanced up at John and gave him a sheepish smile. John broadly smiled back as he glanced into her eyes and continued walking toward the base station. When they reached Dixie's desk, John put Kelly's backpack on the desk and turned to look at her one last time. It was a brief look; anything longer would not have been appropriate. His eyes poured out his love for his beloved Kelly as he told her, "Take it easy with those chemicals, OK. Don't go blowing the place up." He smiled at the girl he assumed he would someday marry.

Just then, the radio in Roy's hand beeped. "Squad 51, Engine 51, Engine 81, Copter 14; car over cliff on Bear Mountain fire road. That's Bear Mountain fire road. Tractor 2 is at location. Time out 13:58."

"Squad 51, responding from Rampart General," Roy acknowledged. He quickly strode away from the desk.

"Bye, Kelly," John said as he followed his partner. As he walked down the hall, he looked back, gave Kelly a little wave, and then he was gone.

"Well, Kelly," Dixie turned to the young lady. How is it you are so privileged to be escorted in by my two favorite paramedics?" She gave Kelly a big smile. "I'm glad you had a few minutes with him today," she whispered as she picked up the phone. "I'm going to call Early so he can make sure you are doing OK. Do I hear a bit of wheezing from you?"

Kelly smiled at Dixie. "Thanks, Dix. I'm glad, too. And yes, I have been wheezing some most of the day today," she replied.

"Dr. Early, you have a 2:00 appointment in the ER. Kelly's here, and she's wheezing some. OK." Dixie hung up the phone. "Let's go to treatment five, we are set up for you in there. Dixie led the way, held the door open for Kelly and then followed her in. Pulling out a paper gown from a drawer, Dixie held it out for Kelly to put on. Quickly, Kelly dressed in the distasteful garment and scooted onto the exam table. In a moment Dr. Early walked in. Placing his stethoscope into his ears, he walked over to the table. "Hi Kelly," he greeted her. "Asthma been bothering you lately?"

"Yes, it has, Dr. Early," Kelly replied as he placed the stethoscope modestly on her back under the paper gown. Kelly took the deep breaths the doctor requested and then waited while he pulled the stethoscope from his ears and thoughtfully wound it up.

"Dixie," he turned to the capable nurse. "I want Dr. Carmody, the pulmonologist, down here." Dixie turned to the phone to call the specialist.

"Kelly, do you have any other appointments here today?" Dr. Early asked.

"I was supposed to do my chem lab with Sarah Mitchell," Kelly replied.

Dr. Early thought for a moment, and then replied. "I think you'll still be able to. I want Dr. Carmody to listen to your lungs and determine whether you need any breathing treatments or just an additional medication until all this smog lifts." Dr. Early explained.

Just then, the door opened and a tall doctor with flaming red hair strode into the room. "Dr. Early? Is this our patient?"

"Yes, this is Kelly. Kelly meet Dr. Carmody. Kelly has asthma and says she's been wheezing for a couple days. I would like for you to listen to her lungs."

Dr. Carmody nodded, whipped out his stethoscope and placed it on Kelly's back. Again, she took a deep breath when requested.

"Hmm, I would like to see her on Albuterol twice a day, he told Dr. Early. Then, turning to Kelly, he asked her, "Are you on nightly breathing treatments?"

Kelly nodded, unsure if she liked the abrasive doctor. He spoke and moved too quickly for her, and his touch was not that gentle.

"Good." He reached for Kelly's chart in Dixie's hands. He glanced over it, and then frowned. "Oh, I see you are epileptic and you are on digitalis." He looked over at Early. "Albuterol will probably increase the likelihood of seizures and a drop in blood pressure. It is a steroid so it will want to increase her heart rate. With the severity of her asthma, I think Albuterol is her best bet, but it should be administered with a medically trained person nearby to assist her should side effects arise." Dr. Carmody scribbled a quick note, flipped the chart closed and thrust it back into Dixie's hand. "Just as soon as the smog clears, we'll see if we can take her off it. OK?" Without waiting for a reply, he as gone.

"I'm not sure I like him," Kelly murmured. Dr. Early smiled and patted her shoulder. "I know, but he's our best pulmonologist, and I only want the best for you. And…" Dr. Early looked down and twisted his bracelet around. "I do have to agree with him. Albuterol, as dangerous as it could be for you, is your best bet. We'll have to train Betty and Joe how to care for you if you have side effects from it, or maybe Roy and Johnny can be around when you take it. Let's just hope the winds start blowing soon." With a smile, Dr. Early stepped out of the room so Kelly could get dressed.

"Dixie, what do you think?" Kelly asked uncertainly as she pulled the gown off.

Dixie smiled. "I am just a nurse, but I do know that Dr. Early thinks a lot of you – like a niece or granddaughter. He wants to make sure you stay healthy enough so you can eventually marry Johnny."

Kelly gasped, "He doesn't know does he? That's supposed to be a secret. You didn't tell you did you?"

Dixie was quick to put her hand up and silence the girl. "No, I didn't tell, but he thinks a lot of you, and of Johnny, and he knows you two are friends. And, Dr. Early does say he thinks of you as his niece. So, I think it would be wise to use the inhaler, even if it poses significant side effects. Besides, it might give you a chance to be with Johnny." Dixie smiled, but Kelly despaired.

"Why would Johnny want to spend time with a defective person like me?"

"Because he loves you just the way you are," Dixie admonished as she opened the door for Kelly to leave the room.

The two of them walked to the base station where Dixie found the Albuterol and handed it to Kelly. Just then, a flurry of activity at the other end of the hall drew Dixie's attention. Roy rushed in with the first of three gurneys bearing the victims from the car over the cliff. Dixie met him in the hall and directed the orderlies into the waiting rooms. Sarah showed up at the same time to get Kelly for her chemistry lab. Kelly grabbed her backpack and followed Sarah to the elevator.

About an hour later, Kelly arrived back at the base station and slid her backpack off her shoulder and onto the floor beside her. Roy stood in the corner drinking coffee. Just then the radio scanner behind him crackled, "LA, be advised, Engine 51 is no longer available; Paramedic bitten by a rattlesnake. Repeat, Paramedic bitten by a rattlesnake. Time out one hour." Dixie quickly picked up the phone and dialed the hospital operator. "Get me the county fire dispatcher," she ordered. Kelly blanched, glanced at Roy and then at the scanner. If Roy was here, and 51 was saying a paramedic was bitten, it had to be Johnny. Roy looked dazed, coffee cup forgotten in his hand.

Kelly stepped back. She didn't want Dixie to notice her and shoo her down to the waiting room. She wanted to see and hear what was going on. Quietly she slipped into one of the chairs by the elevator; close enough to understand what was happening, yet far enough away, that hopefully she wouldn't be noticed. Dr. Brackett walked in and went straight to Dixie who was still on the phone with the LA fire dispatch. "Any word yet on the seriousness of the bite?" he asked. Dixie, her hand covering the ear piece shook her head.

Dr. Brackett clicked his pen and stuck it back in his coat pocket. "I don't like it," he worried, "If it is a grade four, Johnny could be dead in minutes."

Kelly gasped and slumped in her chair. Dixie saw her and looked over at Roy motioning with her head in Kelly's direction. Roy shook off his daze and walked over to Kelly's side. "C'mon, Kelly, let's go to the waiting room, OK?"

But Kelly put her hands up as if to push Roy away from her. "No, Roy, please let me stay here!" She cried. Roy tried again. "Kelly, it will be easier for you if you come with me."

"Roy, you don't understand, I need to stay here. Please, leave me alone!" Kelly pushed her friend away with the force of a caged animal.

Roy, surprised at Kelly's strength, regained his balance and looked over at Dixie. She gently shook her head as if to tell him not to worry about it.

Just then the radio squawked again. "LA, please advise Rampart that patient is drowsy and is experiencing numbness around the mouth." Dr. Brackett looked worried as Roy went back to the base station. "The venom is taking affect awfully fast. Some of it must have gotten into a vein. Time is the key factor now," the doctor told Dixie.

Quickly, they prepared a room and made sure that a gurney and anti-venom were ready for Johnny's arrival. An eternal fifteen minutes went by before Kelly heard the distant sound of sirens. With a quick glance at the despairing girl, Roy decided to follow Dixie and Dr. Brackett out to receiving. Oh, how Kelly wanted to follow them, but she knew she didn't dare. Soon, two orderlies, with a gurney bearing an unconscious Johnny carefully maneuvered the gurney up the hallway, and followed Dixie into treatment room three. Chet walked alongside, holding an IV bag aloft. Roy silently followed the gurney in. The three remaining guys of station 51 crowded around the door, concerned and sober as their fallen paramedic and friend disappeared inside the room. Finally, Captain Stanley saw Kelly sitting forlornly in the nearby chair and walked over to her. Squatting down he took one look and realized she knew exactly what was going on.

"Kelly," he spoke to her gently. She looked up with tears pooling in her eyes. The captain took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "John's going to be OK. He's a strong guy, and a fighter."

"Oh, Cap, Dr. Brackett said he might die if it's a grade four bite!" Kelly wailed. Captain pulled her to him to comfort her as a father would comfort a child. Awkwardly, the captain patted her shoulder and then pulled her away from him. "Kelly, listen to me," he commanded gently, but firmly. "John is not going to die. He loves you too much." Captain spoke softly, but confidently.

Kelly, surprised, searched Captain's face. "How do you know?" She asked wonderingly.

Captain shrugged his shoulders. "John doesn't really have a dad, so he's kind of depended on me. He hasn't said much, but he's said enough for me to know."

Impulsively, Kelly threw her arms around the tall captain and gave him a hug. Then, wiping her eyes, she smiled. Hank stood up and offered her his hand.

"C'mon, I'm sure Dixie will be out pretty soon, and I bet she will have good news."

Sure enough, within a couple minutes Dixie did walk out the treatment room door with good news. "Dr. Brackett has started John on the anti-venom and says our paramedic has an excellent chance of survival." Dixie announced with a smile on her face. She looked down at Kelly. "And you, young lady, can stop worrying. Johnny will be just fine." With a big smile to all of them, she turned and reentered the treatment room.

Kelly looked up at Captain Stanley. He returned her gaze with a big smile on his face. "See, what did I tell you, Kelly? John is going to be OK."

About an hour later, orderlies moved the still unconscious John into room 235. Dixie promised Kelly that as soon as he was conscious, she would take the girl in to see him.

Kelly went back to her seat, pulled out her journal and began to write.

_Dear Journal,_

_I'm at the hospital right now – no not as a patient; rather I had my chem lab today. OK, I also had a doctor's appointment. Some weird red-headed doctor put me on some kind of potentially dangerous inhaler that Dr. Early says is powerful enough to get rid of my constant asthma. Problem is, it could also cause seizures, irregular heart beat and fainting. Oh great. _

_But the real reason why I'm writing is that Johnny is the patient right now. A rattlesnake bit him while he out on a run. Dr. Brackett was afraid he could die, but now says Johnny has an excellent chance. I was so scared! Captain Stanley was with me though and encouraged me. He's great._

_Oh, here comes Dixie. I hope she's telling me that I can go see John._

_Kelly_

Quietly, Kelly followed Dixie onto the elevator and then waited while the nurse quietly knocked at room 435. When there was no answer, she poked her head in.

"Johnny, are you ready for a visitor?" Dixie asked quietly while walking over to Johnny's bed, which was elevated.

Johnny opened his eyes, looked past Dixie and saw Kelly standing in the doorway. With a weak wave of his hand, he motioned her forward.

"Hi Kelly," he mumbled. Kelly walked over, and in a sudden release of emotions, she put her head on his shoulder and sobbed in a very unLakota show of emotion.

"Shh, Kelly, it's OK," John muttered as he awkwardly brushed his fingers through her hair. "I'm going to be fine." Dixie stood quietly nearby. Knowing the love they had for each other, she quietly observed the interaction. John and Kelly felt free to have the exchange, because Dixie was one of the few who really knew the depth of their relationship.

Kelly finally composed herself and smiled shakily. "I was so afraid," she admitted as she took his hand in hers and stroked it keeping her eyes focused on John's hand. "I heard Dr. Brackett say you might die in minutes if it was a grade four bite."

Johnny smiled at his girl. "I guess Brackett was wrong, cuz, I'm not going to let a little rattlesnake get the best of me. Not when I made a promise to you." John toyed with Kelly's fingers a minute and then let go.

Kelly gazed at Johnny for a second and then shifted her gaze. "I suppose you need your rest, huh. I'll try to be by tomorrow, if you want," she told him.

"That would be nice if you could," Johnny mumbled as his eyes started to close.

"Bye Johnny," Kelly replied softly as Dixie held the door open for her.

"Bye." John muttered after her. Then, thinking no one heard him, he said softly, "I love you."

Kelly's sharp ear caught John's words of admiration, and though she did not acknowledge or show she heard it, she smiled. Dixie heard it to, and once the door was shut, she gave the girl a wink and a smile.

_Dear Journal,_

_I got to talk to John this evening. He's doing fine. When he said hi to me, I was so overcome that all I could do was cry on his shoulder. Dixie was in the room with us, but that's OK, because she knows REALLY what is going on._

_John stroked my hair as he tried to reassure me. Oh, how I love him! Just to know that he is going to be OK means the world to me. But I will tell you, I'm exhausted. It has been a very emotionally trying day._

_Kelly_

The next morning, Betty dropped Kelly at the hospital for her breathing treatment while she ran a couple quick errands. Dixie was at the base station chatting with Roy and Chet who were there in street clothes. Kelly quietly walked up and stood behind them so as not to interrupt their conversation. However, Dixie saw her. "Hey Kelly, may I help you?" Roy and Chet turned around and saw Kelly.

The girl stepped forward and held out the inhaler. "Dr. Carmody said I need to use this with medical supervision," she replied.

Dixie moved out from behind the counter and led the way to a treatment room. "Boys, John's in room 235," she said over her shoulder. Chet and Roy walked to the nearby elevator while Dixie held a room door open for Kelly.

Kelly walked toward the center of the room and quickly prepared the inhaler for use. She expertly inhaled as she squeezed the aerosol into the back of her mouth. The bitter tasting medicine irritated her throat. Then she moved over to a chair sitting at the edge of the room and sat, waiting for the medication to take effect. Dixie stood next to her and kept her finger on Kelly's wrist, checking her pulse.

Kelly could feel the medication opening her lungs and looked up at Dixie and smiled. The nurse smiled back. "Feeling OK?" she asked Kelly.

Kelly stood up, "Yep, I think so," she replied.

"Good; let's go see our paramedic friend, OK?" Dixie smiled and opened the door for Kelly to leave.

It didn't take long for the two of them to reach Johnny's room. Dixie knocked, opened the door and walked in. Chet, Roy and Johnny were kidding each other when Dixie announced the visitor. "Johnny, there's someone here to see you," she stepped aside to let Kelly enter. John's eyes lit up. "Hi, Kelly!" he greeted her cheerfully. "Hey guys," she replied to all of them. Then, turning to Roy she spoke. "Uh, Roy, I'm really sorry I yelled at you and pushed you out of the way yesterday. It was very rude and disrespectful of me. Will you please forgive me?"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Kelly. It's OK."

"What's this? What did you do, Kelly?" John asked, but before Kelly could reply, Roy waved him off. "It's nothing, John. Kelly just overheard the conversations between Dixie and Dr. Brackett while the engine was bringing you in, and she got a little upset. But no harm done."

Just then Dixie poked her head in again. "Johnny, you have another visitor," and held her hand out to welcome in a plump, jolly-faced older lady with curly white hair and holding a tin-foiled covered box in her hands.

"Hello boys," she crooned as she walked straight to Johnny's bed. Kelly stepped aside to let the older lady through.

"Well hi, Mrs. Peterson," John greeted the women.

You are all probably wondering what I'm doing in LA. My sister lives here, and I thought as long as I was in the area, I would stop by and bring you some of my famous cookies. They are a great favorite at the church bazaar." She held out the box. John eagerly took a cookie, exclaiming how he was sure it would make him feel even better. Roy also took one politely saying thanks. John then looked over at Kelly standing politely out of the way.

Oh, Mrs. Peterson I want you to meet a friend of ours, Kelly Getraer. John waved Kelly over closer to him. Kelly hesitantly stepped forward toward the bed. "Hi, Mrs. Peterson, I'm glad to meet you," she said, quietly and politely. She held out her hand.

Mrs. Peterson scrutinized the girl before answering. "Aren't you a little young to be friends with these boys?" she asked scornfully.

"No, Ma'm," Kelly replied. "My dad is a Highway Patrol Sergeant and works with these guys when there's a freeway accident. And…" she paused a second before continuing. "Johnny and Roy saved my life two years ago when I had a heart attack." Kelly gazed steadily, almost challengingly into the old lady's eyes.

"Heart attack," Mrs. Peterson exclaimed. "Must be drugs," she muttered under her breath. "Well, I got to go," Mrs. Peterson dropped the box of cookies onto the bed, turned and walked out the room with a small 'humph."

Kelly looked at her three friends with hurt and dismay on her face. "Why," she asked. "Why would she think I was on drugs or that I'm too young?" Chet shifted his feet and said nothing. Roy, shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I don't know Kelly. I guess it shows how ignorant some people really are."

Kelly glanced at John. Instantly she realized he had put up with scorn, disdain and discrimination nearly all his life. He, too, really had no answer for her.

"Come, Kelly, I think your mom is about back from running errands, you probably should be ready to meet her," Dixie stepped into the circle. "And gentlemen, perhaps you could come back a bit later?" Dixie clearly indicated it was time to leave.

Roy and Chet bid their friends farewell and left the room. Dixie and Kelly stayed behind just a bit longer; mostly so Kelly and John could say good-bye.

"Kelly, don't worry about Mrs. Peterson," John reached out for Kelly. She walked over and stood beside him intently studying the bed rail. "If you let every comment like that bother you, it will eat you up, and you will be mired in self-pity and hatred. You can't let that happen, OK? Dixie, you, me, the CHP and the guys; not to mention your parents all know the truth, and that is what is important. We have to live by our truth, not by others expectations." John reached out and stroked Kelly's hand. "It will be OK."

Kelly glanced at him and smiled. "I know," she whispered. Then, with a wave, she turned and followed Dixie out the door.

John watched her go and then reached for Mac.

Mac,

I'm in the hospital, again. This time a silly rattlesnake got me. I'm doing fine, and should be out of here tomorrow.

It sounds like this whole incident sure gave Kelly a scare, though; she overhead some comments Dr. Brackett tell Dixie about the potential severity of the bite. She'll be OK. When Kelly visited me last evening, I was still pretty out of it. Once she saw that I really am going to be OK, she put her head on my shoulder and sobbed. Dixie was with us, so that was OK. I feel so bad for not paying more attention to where I stepped by that car. It was a foolish accident on my part.

Unfortunately, not only must Kelly deal with the dangers firemen go through, but she must also deal with the cutting words of other people. Her mom's co-worker that seems to always create havoc, and now Mrs. Peterson, an old nurse Chet, Roy, and I encountered a couple weeks ago coming back from a fishing trip, are just two examples of ignorant, bigoted people who rush to judgment before knowing the facts.

I thought Mrs. Peterson was a pretty nice lady when I first met her, but I'm not so sure anymore. She certainly didn't approve of Kelly being in my room even though Roy, Chet and Dixie were here as well; and she accused Kelly of being on drugs, simply because of her heart problem a couple years ago.

Mrs. Peterson's words wounded Kelly, not to mention the continual hounding she gets from Delores, her mom's co-worker.

I think Kelly will learn how to deal with it. If she's going to marry me, an Indian, she's going to be hearing a lot more disparaging remarks in the future. How I wish I could protect her from all that, but I haven't figured out a way yet.

~John

16-23


	6. Mount Shasta

**Mount Shasta**

_Dear Journal,_

_There have been many changes at the CHP station. Jon Baker is gone; he went back to Montana. Barry left the patrol to help his dad with their crop dusting business. Grossie's wife has cancer, so he's resigned his badge to take care of her. Bonnie is getting married, and Ponch seems uneasy and dissatisfied ever since Jon left. Even Dad is not thrilled with all the replacements. Fortunately, even though many of my CHP friends are gone, I have a great group of friends at station 51. They are all willing to help me with my schoolwork._

_I'm still being homeschooled because of my epilepsy, asthma and my heart. I love it! I can study at my own pace; and I think I'm learning a whole lot more. Those guys will not let me slack off in my homework._

_John and I are very comfortable with each other, though we don't talk a lot and are never alone together, we read each other's heart and soul and are sure that in the future, we will be together._

_Mom understands Johnny and me. In fact, she has taken it upon herself to learn a little bit about the Lakota way. She watches us closely as she should, but she asks little. When we do talk, she is careful in what she asks, and understands me when I carefully answer. She is honorable and will make a great mother-in-law, I think._

_Kelly_

"Well, dear, I think you will live another three months." Dr. Early smiled as he put his stethoscope back into his pocket. He smiled at the young lady before him. "I am glad you haven't had any more trouble. You are managing your asthma, your blood sugar is with the normal range, and your heart sounds strong. You're last seizure was a year ago at the Fourth-of-July party, wasn't it?"

Kelly nodded as she sat on the exam table.

"Good, Keep up the good work." Dr. Early gave the girl a smile, nodded to Dixie and walked out the door.

Seventeen-year-old Kelly waited until the door closed before taking off the paper gown and slipping back into her clothes. She had another clean bill of health, and barring any cardio/asthma/epilepsy setbacks, she won't have to see the doctor for another three months. Sitting down in the nearby chair, Kelly fished for her shoes and socks. Soon she was out the door and heading down the hall to join her adopted mom, Betty Getraer and her best friend, Julie. She had almost reached them when the entrance doors opened and two blue-shirted paramedics rushed in with a gurney between them. A nursed directed them into treatment room one and with a whoosh of doors they disappeared.

Kelly glanced at her mother, back at the swinging door, and then back at her mom. Betty nodded, knowing that Kelly wanted to wait and say hi to one of the paramedics – Johnny Gage. They didn't have long to wait. Soon the two men walked out the door and strode to the base station desk. They needed to get supplies and had to wait until Dixie could join them. Kelly kept her eyes fixed on the desk but did not move. Betty, now used to the rather unorthodox relationship her daughter had with the twenty-three-year-old young man, didn't say anything. She approved of Johnny Gage and how he treated her adopted daughter. He was truly honorable in every sense of the word.

It didn't take long for Johnny to notice Kelly. He smiled broadly and made his way down the hallway to the trio of ladies.

"Julie, Betty, Kelly, nice to see you." Johnny greeted them. By stating Kelly's name last, he had given her the most honor. Through his heart and soul, John had told her that, while no one else noticed.

"John, nice to see you, too. I hope your patient is OK." Betty replied holding her hand out to John. He took it and shook it politely. She did not realize that she spoke out of turn. John silently forgave her.

"Julie, how are you?" John turned to the other girl. Julie, knowing nothing of the

Lakota way, looked him in the eye and tried to flirt with him. Batting her eyelashes, she purred that she was fine. Kelly was embarrassed for her soul mate. Julie's actions were dishonorable actions to a Lakota, and Kelly fought to keep her anger at bay.

Finally, John turned to his beloved. "Kelly, are you in good health?"

"My health is good, thank you for asking." Kelly replied with a quick glance into his eyes. She then modestly focused on his badge. John was honored by her actions. She was true Lakota.

Just then, Roy walked up with the box of supplies. "C'mon Johnny, we've got to go, we were just called out on a huge apartment fire." With a quick glance and nod at the ladies, Roy rushed out. Johnny glanced one more time at Kelly, who returned his look, and he was out the door following his partner.

"Oh, isn't he just dreamy?" Julie gushed as the three made their way to Betty's car. It would just make my day if John Gage ever came knocking at my door. I could date him in a minute. But, I suppose my parents wouldn't let me, he's in his mid-twenties." On and on, Julie went on oblivious to Kelly and Betty's silence. Finally, she asked, "What do you think of him, Kelly?"

"Oh, I guess he's nice, but all the firemen of station 51 are nice." Kelly would not speak her true feelings of Warrior Strong Heart. She would not desecrate her love for him in such a manner.

Kelly suddenly had an idea. "Mom, could we stop at the store and buy some groceries for a casserole and taco salad. The boys are going to be out for a long time at that apartment fire and I'm sure they are going to be hungry when we get back. I know the code to get into the station."

Julie was surprised. "You do? How"

"The Captain is helping me with my philosophy class, and Mike has been great in getting me through pre-calculus." Kelly stated simply. She was completing her junior year in high school via a home school program. With her many health challenges, this set-up worked better than a regular school.

Betty agreed, and drove the car to a nearby grocery store. The three soon had the grocery cart full of groceries and headed to the checkout counter. Kelly also managed to slip in a bag of chocolate kisses. She had an idea…

Another short drive and they arrived at the empty fire station. Julie was gushing with delight at being in this building. Kelly keyed in the code and heard the door unlock. Quickly she opened it and stepped into the kitchen, holding the door open for her mother and Julie who each carried a bag of groceries. Letting go of the door, Kelly put her own bag on the counter and began pulling items out.

About an hour and a half later, the casserole was done and the taco salad was in a sealed container in the refrigerator. While Julie and Betty were cleaning up, Kelly slipped into the Captain's office and found a scrap piece of paper. Quickly she wrote a note and then, with one chocolate kiss in her hand, she returned to the kitchen. Slipping it into Betty's hand, Kelly picked up a rag to wipe the table.

Betty glanced over the short note and smiled. "Warrior Strong Heart," was all it said. Betty, assuming it was just a pet name for John, knew where it was to go. She slipped into the dorm and walked over to John's bunk. Before placing the paper and candy under the pillow, she fished a pen from the side table drawer and wrote her own note. "Kelly asked me to place this here for you. ~Betty." Betty knew that John wanted to be reassured that Kelly had not come to the bed where he slept. Putting the pen back, she slipped the paper and candy under John's pillow. Quickly she left the room.

The girls had just finished putting the last of the dishes away when they heard the radio squawk, "Station 51 returning to quarters."

"C'mon, we gotta go!" Kelly declared as she reached for the door. All three quickly

left. By the time the engine and the squad backed into the station bay, the station wagon

carrying the three was several miles down the road.

Doors slammed as weary firemen climbed out of their vehicles. "I'm starved," Chet announced as he laid his turnout coat on the seat of the engine. "Who's cooking?"

Johnny quickly got out of the squad and walked around it to get into the kitchen. The pleasant aroma of a casserole assailed his nose as he walked in. He pulled open the oven door and found the source of the smell. Grabbing a potholder he pulled the dish from the oven and announced, "Dinner's served!" The other five men rushed in, eager to see what he was talking about. Marco pulled open the fridge door and found the taco salad. The others quickly gathered plates and utensils so they could eat the good food.

All wondered who had been there to cook, and assumed it was either JoAnn or Emily. Only Johnny suspected Kelly and Betty.

Betty and Kelly dropped Julie off at her house and then headed to the CHP station to pick up Joe before heading home.

Joe wasn't in his office when they walked in; Ponch told them the Captain had called him into his office. So, they waited.

About ten minutes later Joe returned, greeted his wife with a quick kiss, asked Kelly how her doctor's appointment had been and then gathered his things. Something wasn't right, Betty could tell.

When they arrived home, Joe cleared his throat. "I've got some news to share with you," he began. "You know there have been many changes in the department the last couple months. Jon has gone back to Montana, Barry is now working with his dad, Grossie had to resign so he could take care of his wife, Bonnie is getting married to Jim Chitwood and is leaving the patrol." Kelly and Betty nodded.

"Harlan has agreed to be the mechanic at the academy, and just today, Ponch told me that he accepted an offer to be the lead instructor at motor school." Joe shook his head. "Poncherello an instructor?"

Joe paused and looked at his wife and daughter carefully. He knew what he was going to say next would have a huge impact on their lives.

"I've been offered a position as Captain for the station in Mount Shasta in Northern California. It's a promotion, a pay raise and in a location that should help Kelly with her asthma. The cost of living is lower there, too."

Kelly gasped, and tears filled her eyes.

Joe heard the sob and looked at his adopted daughter. "Kelly, I know it will mean making you move away from John, but soon you will be in college. Hopefully, you can return here to go to school. But for now, you need to be with us in Mount Shasta. I'm sorry."

"When do we move, Joe," Betty asked, her heart breaking for Kelly.

"I need to be up there in three weeks. As soon as I find a house, I'll be back to bring you up with me."

Kelly put her head down while she fought the tears in her eyes. She was heartbroken. Tears slowly dripped off her cheeks and onto her jeans as she struggled for control. After a couple minutes, with a sigh, she looked up. Wiping the tears, she looked at her adopted dad. "It's OK, Dad. I will go with you." She knew John's Lakota spirit would be with her.

Joe, very much relieved, looked at his daughter. He saw acceptance and determination there. While he knew there was something between John and Kelly, he had not a clue the depth of their love. Betty, knowing what Dixie had told her plus her own motherly intuition, knew that the relationship between Kelly and John was sacred, and to speak of it to anyone was not good. So, she had even withheld information from her husband. Still, she was able to say enough for Joe to know that Kelly and John were special friends.

That night, before Betty and Joe went to sleep, Betty turned to her husband. "Joe,"

she said lifting herself up on an elbow. "If John is free this weekend, let's have him over."

He needs to be told."

Joe turned over to face his wife. "Why can't Kelly just call and tell him?"

Betty thought for a moment before answering. "I think he needs to be told in person, when he's not at work or with the other boys."

"OK, Kelly can invite him over." Joe yawned, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. But Betty a bit flustered spoke again.

"Joe, I think you need to invite him over. John is so proper in his relationship with Kelly. He does his best to make sure he is modest and pure in his dealing with her."

"What's wrong with Kelly calling him? There's no immodesty in that." Joe wanted to get to sleep.

"Joe, Dear. John is a Native American. He is acting from his cultural background. It is because of his heritage that has allowed us to accept him so willingly into Kelly's life. Please, just call and invite him over."

"Oh, OK, Dear. I'll call in the morning." Joe yawned again and rolled over.

Betty, not able to sleep, quietly slipped out of bed, reached for her journal and sat in the corner chair. Using the glow from the streetlight outside the window, she opened her book and began to write.

Dear Katy,

Joe dropped a bombshell on us this afternoon. He's accepted a promotion to captain. I know his been dissatisfied and restless in his work; most of the guys he's worked with for years are gone or are leaving. Being promoted to captain is great! It means a pay raise, and better benefits. But, it also means moving. To far northern California, Mount Shasta to be exact. I looked it up on the map; it's about nine hours from here!

I wished he'd talked to Kelly and me about it first, but I know Joe would have accepted it anyway. He did it for more money; a healthier environment for us, especially for Kelly. Her asthma bothers her, especially with all the smog alerts we get.

Kelly was devastated to hear the news; but bless her heart she accepted it. I don't know how she will handle being away from Johnny; or how Johnny will handle being away from her, but their love for each other is strong enough I know they will get through it. I just wish Joe could understand the depth of their love, but I think right now it is better he just sees them as having a special friendship – like a brother/sister relationship. He's so protective of his daughter that for him to think there is anything more would create a rather awkward situation.

Betty

Betty put down her book and pen, and padded down the hall to check on Kelly. Quietly she opened the door and peered into the darken room. Just as she expected, Kelly was curled up, breathing mask over her face, and a Smokey Bear teddy John had given her when she had heart surgery tucked into her arms. Light glinting off her daughter's face allowed Betty to see that Kelly was crying.

Betty stepped in to the room, sat down next to Kelly and quietly started rubbing her back. Kelly rolled over, took the mask off her face and curled up next to Betty. Together the two of them let their tears fall; the older women cried for her daughter whose heart was broken at the thought of leaving her beloved.

Finally, Kelly composed herself, looked up at her mom, and sighed. "Thanks, Mom," she said. It wasn't much, but Betty knew that Kelly appreciated her just being there. Betty understood. She once had to leave her beloved. But, unlike Kelly and John. She never saw her Samuel again.

With a smile and a pat on the back, Betty reached over, replaced Kelly's breathing mask and tucked her in as one would tuck a small child. With a gentle kiss on Kelly's forehead, Betty quietly left the room and returned to her own bedroom. Turning out the light, she slipped quietly back into bed hoping she wasn't disturbing her husband.

Kelly, not able to sleep, greatly appreciated the simple, loving action her mom just showed her. She understood the grief Kelly was experiencing.

Kelly switched on her bedside lamp and reached for her ever-present journal.

_Dear Journal,_

_ I don't know how I'm going to face Johnny right now. I just found out today that Dad accepted a job as CHP captain in Mount Shasta. That's nine hours north of here! He says it will be good as it will help me deal with my asthma, but right now I'm not sure I want to be that far away from John. However, I feel John's spirit upon me, and I know that while it will be tough to be away from him, he will keep his heart tender toward me just as I will keep my heart tender toward him. He is my beloved._

_Kelly_

At the fire station, that night, after a good shower, Johnny quickly arranged his turnouts by his bed. He pulled his pillow back to get to the top of the covers when a flash of silver caught his eye. He picked up the small piece of candy and saw a note with it. He read the front of it from Betty. Turning it over, he saw only three words. "Warrior Strong Heart." It was in Kelly's writing. In true Lakota form, she had given her beloved his new Lakota name. He smiled. She was early; she wasn't supposed to let him know his new name until they were married, but well, he guessed he didn't mind. He also noted that it was Betty who had placed the candy under his pillow. Kelly had refused to go where she knew he slept. He was honored.

Mac,

I saw Kelly at the hospital this morning when I came in with a victim. It looked like she was just leaving from her regular health appointment. She told me everything is OK with her health, which relieves me. Her friend, Julie, however; sometimes she is so very annoying! I can tell that Kelly has not said anything to her of our relationship, so this is good. I just wish Julie would stop trying to get my attention. Her actions are not attractive to me.

I think Kelly and Betty made dinner for us while we were out on a run. Mmm, it smelled so good when we came back. And, Kelly left a little treat for me. She had Betty put a small chocolate kiss under my pillow. Kelly wrote a little note for me, which I shall not repeat in here. She doesn't realize it, yet; but she gave me the Lakota name she chose for me. Nor does she realize that she should have kept that name secret until the day we are married. I will forgive her though. I am honored that she accepts much of my Lakota ways, even if she doesn't fully understand or realize what she is doing.

~John

The next morning, just before Joe left for the office, Betty pecked him on the cheek. "Remember, dear. Call John."

Joe agreed, climbed into his patrol cruiser and pulled out of the driveway. Reaching the office a few minutes before 8AM, he sat down at his desk, flipped through the rolodex and found the number for the fire station in Carson City. Picking up the phone, he dialed it and counted the rings. In the middle of the fourth ring, someone picked up.

"LA County Fire Department, Hank Stanley speaking."

"Hank, Joe Getraer, California Highway Patrol." Joe replied business like. "Is John Gage available?" Hank, also knowing something of a relationship between Kelly and John immediately assumed John was in trouble.

"Joe, if John has done something to Kelly, you can be sure the department will…" Hank started to say.

"No, Hank, nothing like that." Joe quickly interrupted. "John has been most honorable in his friendship with Kelly. Betty and I really appreciate it. The reason I'm calling is to invite him over next weekend, if he is free. I might as well tell you, I've accepted a position as Captain in Mount Shasta. I report in three weeks; and, as soon as I

find a place for the family, they will be moving, too."

"Thanks for telling me, Joe. Let me see if I can find John. I sent him out back to hang hose with Roy... hold just a minute please."

Hank put the phone down and went around back. "John, phone!" he called into the parking lot. Chet was right there ready to tease him. Chet had NO clue as to the feelings between John and Kelly. "Oh John, the chicks are calling rather early this morning, aren't they? Who is it this time, Barbara?" John just glared as he went past and headed for the phone. Hank put a stop to Chet's rants and sent him back to the latrine.

"Fireman John Gage here," John said when he picked up the phone.  
"John, Joe Gatraer, CHP. Betty and I would like to invite you over to our house this weekend. We have some news we need to share with you, and Betty felt it would be better if you were with us."

John's Spirit Guide was ready to catch his heart as it fell. This could not be good news and he gripped the phone until his knuckles were white.

"Joe, thank you for the invitation. I will be there Saturday morning. Is 9:00 OK?"

"That would be fine. We'll see you then."

John hung up the phone. He turned to face Hank, fear and sadness in his eyes. Without saying a word, Hank put a sympathetic hand on the paramedic's shoulder. It was Tuesday, he would be off in a few minutes. John will work Wednesday and Friday and then had Saturday and Sunday off. The next chance he would have to see Kelly before Saturday was if he happened to see her at the hospital on Wednesday while she was working on her anatomy and physiology lab.

As the guys from the next shift took over the A Shift's jobs, the A boys left for home. Before he left, Captain called John into the office and shut the door. Thankfully, Chet was gone.

"John, that call from Joe; he told me why they want you over to their house. I'm not at liberty to say, but he told me something else. He is most impressed with how you have treated Kelly. He said you have been "most honorable" in your friendship with her. As your captain, I want to say thank you." Cap clapped John on the back and stood up. "Enjoy your day off, John. Don't worry too much about it. Everything will work out."

John went home but found he couldn't sleep. He worried at the news he was to hear on the weekend.

Mac,

I'm scared. Joe, Kelly's dad called me at the station this morning and invited me over to their place Saturday. He says he has something important to tell me. Cap knows what is going on and is acting like it's not good news. I'm afraid. I think Kelly's leaving.

~John

Wednesday mid-day found John and Roy at Rampart gathering supplies after their third run of the day. John was quieter than usual, and Dixie knew why, Kelly having told her when she arrived for her lab. Dixie didn't say anything to John about it, instead keeping the topic of conversation on a professional level. John responded as she expected, knowing his heart was tortured at having to wait.

Just then, the elevator doors opened and Kelly stepped out with Dr. Early. He had conducted her AP lab and was answering the last of her questions. Kelly saw John standing at the desk and immediately dropped her eyes to his badge.

"Hey Kelly," Roy greeted cheerfully. Kelly lifted her eyes to Roy and smiled. "Hi Roy," she said, quietly. "I hope you haven't had too rough of a day."

"It hasn't been too bad, thanks." Roy replied.  
Kelly gave a small smile, but did not reply. Before she continued down the hall she glanced at John. He glanced at her and saw tears in her eyes. She looked away; and, without another word, she left his side and walked down the hall. John was desperate to know what was wrong and started to follow after her. Dixie called him back, however.

"Dixie, what is wrong?" John asked trying to get the words around a sob forming in his throat.

Roy was a little confused. Why was John despairing over Kelly? He had not sensed the depth of their love for each other. Only Dixie knew.

"John, you will find out," Dixie replied. Then she dared to venture more. "Right now, Kelly's heart is on the ground." Dixie was speaking to John's Lakota heart.

Johnny gasped and turned white. Clutching the box of supplies, he whirled around and fled the stifling Emergency Room floor.

"Dixie, what is that all about?" Roy asked completely in the dark. "What is going on here?"

Dixie smiled sadly and replied, "Be ready for a tough few shifts, Roy. Johnny is going to be impossible to live with for a while."

Roy waiting a moment, hoping Dixie would say more, but when no words came, Roy left, heading for the squad. Opening the door, he shoved the supplies onto the seat between he and John, and then climbed in. He glanced over at his partner, who sat slumped against the passenger door, one arm resting over the rolled-down window. Johnny stared out toward the rear-view mirror, his face a mask. He emanated complete defeat, and Roy knew there would be conversation on the way home.

Just as soon as Roy backed the squad into the bay, John jumped out, slammed the door and headed for the dorm. Roy watched him go, pondered what he should do next, turned, and headed for the captain's office.

Giving the open door a little knock, Roy stepped in, hesitantly. "Uh Cap?"

Hank looked up from his paperwork. "Roy, can I help you?"

"Do you know what is going on with John? He saw Kelly at the hospital just now – she was finishing her A and P lab with Dr. Early. They didn't say anything to each other, but when she walked away, Dixie said something about her heart on the ground. John gasped, and looked as if he was about to cry. Just now he stormed off to the dorm. What is going on?"

"Roy, I can't say, but you know there is a special friendship between John and Kelly, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, but she's only sixteen. I always thought that they saw each other as a big brother/little sister type of thing."

Hank sighed, pushed his chair back and crossed his arms. "Roy, I don't know how serious it is, but Sergeant Getraer, Kelly's dad, approves of John and Kelly. John has been most honorable to her, I've been told. Well this morning, Joe told me some news that I am not at liberty to share. The news does mean that John will probably be hard to work with for a while. But, then again, he may be just fine – eventually. But for now, please don't press him, because he doesn't know what is going on."

"Do you," Roy asked.

"Yes. But don't ask." Hank stood up. "Let's see what Lopez has on for lunch, shall we?" He moved toward the office door indicating that this conversation was over.

In the dorm, John plopped down on his bunk, swung his feet up, and leaned back against the brick wall. With arms crossed, he just sat and thought through the different scenarios that would possibly lead Dixie to say that Kelly's heart was on the ground. Finally, he pulled his journal out and scribbled a quick note:

Mac,

I saw Kelly this morning at the hospital. She was finishing her A and P lab with Dr. Early. She didn't say anything that Roy could hear, but she impressed upon my soul that she is very sad. In fact, Dixie told me that Kelly's heart is on the ground right now. She wouldn't tell me anymore, but my heart hurts with fear and discouragement.

~John

Saturday morning, John pulled up the driveway of the Getraer house. There, next to the driveway, he saw what made his worst fears come true. Posted is a For Sale sign. He got out of the car, walked up the sidewalk and knocked on the door.

Joe opened it and welcomed John in. Joe knows this is going to be hard, but John is a man and he can handle disappointments.

"Come in, John. Come in." Joe directed John to a couch in the living room. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Uh, yes, thank you." John looked at Joe in the eye and then looked around the room; boxes - some empty and some partially packed lined the walls.

Joe came back with a mug of coffee. "I am sure you saw the For Sale sign by the driveway."

John nodded as he took a sip of the hot liquid.

"Betty asked me to have you come over so I could explain why we are moving. Personally I don't understand why Kelly couldn't call you, but Betty said something about it was more proper for me to do it."

John was grateful for Betty's insight. She will make a good mother-in-law, one that John would be happy to serve.

Joe took time to explain the promotion; the need for change for his sake and for Kelly's, and gave the time line for the move. The whole time John did not see Kelly. She was in her room trying to compose herself for the difficult task of facing her loved one.

Joe finished and looked John in the eye, man-to-man. "John, I know you are older than Kelly. With Tim and Holly, we discouraged them from dating anyone with the spread in years that you and Kelly have. However, you have been so honorable in your friendship with Kelly, we would not mind at all if you kept in contact with her. She seems to see you as a special big brother."

John almost choked on his drink and tried to turn it into a chuckle. Joe had no idea. Again, Betty had understood the Lakota heart and had kept their relationship sacred.

"Thank you, Joe," John returned the steady gaze. "I would very much like to stay in touch with her."

Then to change the mood, Joe stood up. "Now," he said, "we have the whole day before us. Betty made me promise no packing today. So, today Betty and I will take you and Kelly wherever you want to go. It's your day."

It took Johnny a minute to catch up to Joe's change of subject. Suddenly, he knew where he wanted to go; he wanted to go climbing in the mountains and show Kelly where he went to reconnect with his Spirit Guide.

"Well, sir," Johnny replied. "How are you and Mrs. Getraer at climbing in the mountains? I know of some beautiful places where we could have a picnic meal."

From the kitchen Betty yelled, "John its 'Betty!'"

Both John and Joe laughed.

"Kelly told us you would probably want to go hiking so we are almost ready to go." Joe replied.

John was again surprised at how well Kelly knew his heart.

Joe walked to the bottom of the stairs and called up, "Kelly, John's here!"

"OK! I'll be right down!" Kelly called back.

In an effort to give the young man his privacy, Joe turned to John. "I'm going to the garage to get the ice cooler for the food." He turned and hurriedly left the room.

"John!" Betty called from the kitchen.

John stood up and obediently walked into the kitchen.

"John, I thought you could sit here and have a cup of orange juice with me. I'm sure you didn't eat much this morning, so here is a plate of pancakes. Help yourself." Betty sounded as if she wasn't going to let John excuse his way out of the offer, so he took a couple of pancakes and set the platter by Kelly's plate.

Soon Kelly appeared in the kitchen, glanced at John and took her place at the table.

John spoke, knowing Betty would understand.

"Kelly, your dad called me here to help pick your heart off of the ground. We must make today a good day. Otherwise, when we are apart, we will think only of sadness of each other, not happiness. That is not good for our future. We must be happy. Let us make this day a happy day, OK?"

Kelly, tears rolling down her cheeks lifted her eyes to John's and smiled. Betty stepped forward and wiped the tears from Kelly's with a napkin. "Now eat, young lady," she demanded. "Or we will never get out of this house."

The day did end up being one of the best Kelly could remember. John and Joe led most of the way through the twisting trails. They were hardy trails, but ones Joe and Betty easily mastered. Betty and Kelly followed behind Joe and John, walking at a little slower pace. Each couple was involved in their own conversations; Joe and John about state and county enforcement policies, Betty and Kelly about housekeeping and fashion.

They were about 90 minutes into their hike when Betty noticed that Kelly was gasping for air. "Kelly, are you OK?" Betty asked concerned, but not panicked.

"I….think…I….need my….inhaler," Kelly replied between wheezes. John, hearing Betty's question and Kelly's struggle to answer, was right beside Kelly, swinging off his daypack and fishing through it for Kelly's medicine. Quickly he popped of the lid, inverted it into the inhaler and handed it to Kelly. Kelly expertly squeezed the aerosol spray into the back of her mouth, and with a grimace, she swallowed. Twice more, she repeated the action and then, finding a soft patch of grass to the side of the trail, she sat down waited for the medication to take effect. John knelt beside her, keeping his fingers on Kelly's wrist and feeling her pulse while watching his wristwatch, making sure that Kelly's heart didn't start racing as the medication took effect.

He sensed an elevation in her heart rate so he watched her closely for signs of shock, dizziness or symptoms of an oncoming seizure. She became a little pale, her eyes glazed and small beads of sweat formed on her forehead. "Kelly," John called to her softly, "Kelly?"

Kelly dimly heard him calling, but couldn't form her mouth to reply. Instead, she attempted to lie down. John helped her change position, then reaching for his daypack, he pulled out his blood pressure cuff and stethoscope. He had thrown them in at the last moment "just in case." Wrapping the cuff around Kelly's arm, he took her blood pressure, and found it to be very low. For a few minutes, she wavered between staying alert and fainting. Soon however, the fuzzy blackness cleared from her eyes and her brain, and was soon more alert.

"John?" Kelly mumbled while still lying on the grass.

"Yes?" he replied.

"I didn't have a seizure did I?"

"No, Kelly, you didn't. You didn't pass out, either, but you came very close. You had to take three inhaler puffs and that almost did you in. Are you feeling better?" John asked tenderly as he helped Kelly back into a sitting position. Betty and Joe stood nearby; ready to jump in if John or Kelly needed help.

"Yes, I'm feeling a lot better. Can I get up?" Kelly looked more to her mom for an answer than to John.

"You need to ask John if it is all right with him," Betty replied.

Kelly glanced at him, waiting for an answer. John took her pulse again and then pumped up the blood pressure cuff to take another reading. Her BP was much better.

"Let's sit here a minute or two more. I want to see your BP up a little higher than it is right now," John replied. Kelly didn't argue. She quietly began picking at the grass around her.

"OK, let's do this one more time," John suggested a minute later as he worked the

BP cuff.

"All right Kelly, I think you're OK." He said as he pulled the cuff off her arm. John looked up at Betty silently asking her to help Kelly to her feet.

Betty stepped forward, and bending down, she took Kelly's arm, helped her to her feet, and steadied her before letting go. John was right beside ready to catch Kelly should her BP drop. But Kelly was fine.

"Thanks, John," she murmured, glancing at her beloved's eyes. Then, looking at her mom, she carefully walked back onto the path and waited while John tossed the BP cuff, stethoscope and inhaler back into his daypack and zipped it shut. With a smile at Kelly, he rejoined Joe on the path and headed out.

Betty and Kelly didn't say anything for a while, but the pace was decidedly slower while Kelly got her feet back under her. Betty now easily saw the depth of love John had for Kelly, and the lengths he would go to take care of her. He really was very much in love with her daughter. It wasn't some pretty face, or a take-advantage type of feelings John had; Betty could see that they were connected at a much deeper, emotional level. She smiled quietly to herself. What she saw was a type of love that would never be broken.

After another hour of hiking, they arrived at a beautiful mountain lake obviously well hidden and off the main tourist trails.

It was a very private place; John had spent many hours there meditating in the past. They enjoyed a wonderful meal as well as some splashing around in the lake. Several times Joe tried to direct Betty away from the couple, thinking they wanted time alone, but Betty stubbornly insisted on staying close by. Joe simply didn't understand but as long as Betty knew what was going on, he guessed he would not worry about it.

Before they wanted it to, the setting sun forced the four back to their vehicle. As Joe unlocked the car and opened the trunk to receive their backpacks, jackets and other hiking items, John noticed how tired Kelly acted. He desperately wanted to sit in the back with Kelly to make sure she didn't have any troubles, but he resigned himself to sit in the front with Joe, knowing Betty would alert him to any situation. It was a long ride home.

It was quite dark outside by the time they pulled into the driveway. Joe got out of the car, unlocked the house and threw on the lights while John held the door open for Betty and Kelly. His searching eyes looked at Kelly's face, looking for any sign of illness. Kelly smiled at John, and simply whispered "Good night, John. I think I need to get to bed."

John didn't reply, but his smile and his eyes conveyed a message of love, understanding and concern. Looking at Betty, he implored her with his eyes, asking her to stay with his Kelly for a while, just to make sure she was OK. Betty nodded and followed her daughter to her room.

"You really do love him, don't you, dear?" Betty asked as she helped the exhausted Kelly into her pj's.

Kelly's eyes lit up as she nodded her head. "Yes, Mom, I really do." Kelly replied.

Betty sat down on Kelly's bed as Kelly picked up her brush from the dresser and began to brush out her hair. She sat down on the bed next to her mom, and continued to work out the tangles.

"He loves you, too, Kelly. I saw that clearly today," Betty said after a moment. "The love I see between you two is rare. It is deep, pure and holy. It will be hard for the two of you to be apart from each other, Kelly; but you and John will grow from it, and your love will strengthen. Perhaps, this move was destined to allow your love to be tested and found worthy of each other." Betty stood, helped Kelly into bed, helped her adjust her breathing mask, and then added. "If you look at this move as a time where the two of you can freely communicate by letter, it won't be so bad." Betty pulled the blankets over Kelly and then patted her on the shoulder. "Just remember, dear; John's love for you is deeper than anything. Just make sure you stay worthy of his love." With a gentle kiss on her

daughter's forehead. Betty left the room.

Kelly reached over to her nightstand and picked up her journal.

_Dear Journal,_

_This was one of the hardest days of my life; the day John found out we were moving. But, it was one of the best days of my life, as well. John came over this morning and took us hiking to his sacred spot. He told me that we had to choose to make today a good day so we would have good memories to think about while we were apart from each other. It was hard at first, but after a while, I think we both pushed back the reason why we were hiking today._

_I did have an asthma attack, but John was right there with my inhaler and checking my heart rate. I felt kind of shocky for a couple minutes, and I could see he was concerned, but I kept real still and focused on getting better. Fortunately, I didn't have a seizure as I sometimes do when I have to use my inhaler. John stayed right beside me, but I knew he wouldn't baby me, and he knew I wouldn't hide my symptoms._

_Dad saw how tenderly John cared for me during that attack, and several times he tried to steer mom away from John and me so we could be alone. But mom is wise and knows that we are more comfortable with her around. Dad doesn't get it, but I love for him for his consideration._

_Really, I guess it was a pretty good day. _

_Kelly_

Betty returned to the living room where Joe and John sat on the couch relaxing. John stood up as Betty walked in. He looked at her, asking her with his eyes how she was doing. She nodded slightly, a smile in her eyes. John relaxed, relief washing over him. "Would you like some coffee, Johnny, before you head home?" Betty asked, moving toward the kitchen.  
"Sure, that would be great," John replied and followed her. Joe meanwhile got up and began taking their hiking things back to the garage.

In the kitchen, Betty poured John a cup of coffee and handed it to him. Pouring herself a cup, she took a sip and then faced John. John waited for her to speak, his eyes confidently upon her.

"John, you love Kelly, don't you." Betty asked him.

John blushed, dropped his eyes and nodded silently.

"John, it's OK. I saw today how deep, pure and holy your love for her is." Betty spoke reassuredly. "Kelly loves you, too, John. I don't know that she understands how deeply you love her, but I see it. I told her tonight that our move may be a good thing; it will allow her love for you to grow deeper, stronger and more holy. I suggested to her, and to you, John, to use this time of separation to build your love for each other through frequent and free written letters. Communicate more now, share more now and in the coming months than you have ever communicated before. It will help her to understand how deep love must go to survive, and it will help make this move less painful – for both of you." Betty's gaze bore deep into John's soul. He toyed with his cup for a minute, and then, lifting his head, he searched Betty's face. What he saw was complete acceptance, compassion and wisdom. Before he could say anything, Betty spoke again. "John, I may not yet know much of the Lakota way of life, but I do know that as your future mother-in-law, I must impart wisdom to you, my future son-in-law. John nodded and smiled sheepishly. She was right, of course.

Finally, setting his cup on the counter, John smiled. Having no other words, he stepped forward, gave Betty a loose, appreciative hug, and then headed out the door to go home.

_Mac,_

_It was a good day today, even though it was so hard. I drove up to the Getraer's house this morning and immediately saw the reason for my fear. They have their house up for sale and are moving. Not to another local neighborhood but nine hours north of here to a place called Mount Shasta. It's small mountain community. Joe got a promotion to captain (which is like a battalion chief to us), so he feels he's has to take the job. Besides, he says that the clean mountain air will help Kelly with her asthma. It will be very hard for us to be separated from each other, but after seeing Kelly have a strong asthma attack today, I have to respect Joe's decision to move her where she can breathe clean air. _

_She had to take three puffs of __Albuterol before she got any relief from the asthma. That concerned me because that amount could trigger a seizure for her. She did get pale and a little shocky; her blood pressure dropped very low, and was on the verge of passing out. But Kelly fought through it and avoided a seizure. I thought for sure she was going to go out on us. _ _I kept us out way too long; Kelly was exhausted when we got home. Betty helped her to bed and then called me into the kitchen to talk to me. She understands my love for Kelly and calls it pure and holy. She told me that she sees their move as a way for Kelly to grow in her love for me; Betty doesn't think Kelly quite understands how deeply I love her. Betty's wisdom to us is for us to write letters and freely share of our love, our feelings, and even our daily lives, desires, annoyances and joys to each other, and write frequently. This will lessen the distance between us and allow Kelly to grow. I see the wisdom of her counsel and will abide by it._ _All in all, I really did have a terrific time. While the coming months are going to be hard, I know I will stay as close as I can to my beloved Kelly._ _~John_

Dear Katy,

It was a good day today, and we are all tired. John came over this morning so Joe could tell him about our move. Instead of packing today, I made Joe promise that we would give this day to John and Kelly; take them out and enjoy the time they have left together. We took them to John's favorite hiking area. It took us awhile to get there and were moving along at a pretty good clip. Then Kelly had an asthma attack. John was right there with her medication. He stayed with her, checking her pulse and blood pressure. He was concerned, but not panicked; he knew what to do, but the gentleness he showed was more than a professional doing his job; love poured out of every action toward our daughter.

I talked to him before he left. I told him I approved of his feelings for Kelly; but that Kelly may not understand the depth of his love for her. This time of separation will be the time she needs to grow – to mature so she could understand his feelings. My advice to the two of them is to write letters, lots of letters and to free communicate their daily lives, their dreams, desires, annoyances and even their childhood experiences to each other. In so doing they will lessen the distance between them.

John accepted my council and gave me a hug in appreciation for my acceptance. He will make a terrific son-in-law.

Betty

Moving day arrived, and John arrived to help load the moving van. It was a tough day, but his determination to keep Kelly happy for the good of their future keep him moving lightly. Only when it came to going into Kelly's room to retrieve her packed belongs, did he refuse. Betty stepped in and directed other helpers while Johnny worked on making sure the van was well organized.

In a couple hours, the house is empty. Before Joe climbed into the van, and Betty and Kelly got into the car, Joe came over and shakes John's hand. "Thank you for all that you have done, John. I am so sorry that we have to move. I hope you understand. Please, feel free to write or call anytime. You are always welcomed to come up for visit." Then, looking John in the eye, Joe added. "You can give Kelly a hug, if you want. We don't mind."

For once John didn't look to his Lakota heritage; he looked at the girl he loved. In a daze, he walked over to where Kelly stood, tears running down her cheeks. Catching her up in a big hug, he pressed her to him. Before putting her down, he brought his lips up close to her ear and whispered, "I love you, my beloved."

Kelly, grabbing his neck in her arms whispered back, "And you are my Warrior Strong Heart."

Smiling gently and silently forgiving Kelly for again telling him his new Lakota name, John put her down, brushed the hair away from her face, and gently wiped the tears from her eyes. Looking deep in her eyes, he willed his heart to her. Then turning, he strode to his Rover, got in and slammed the door.

A block down the road, he stopped, put his head on the steering wheel and sobbed as if his heart would break.

_Max,_

_My heart is on the ground. Kelly has moved and I don't know when I will see her again. I stopped by the post office and bought all the stamps I could, and then made sure I have plenty of paper. We are going to be writing a lot of letters from now on. My heart is at my feet for my beloved Kelly._

_~John_

_Dear Journal,_

_My heart is too sad to speak. We are half way to Mount Shasta and my Warrior Strong Heart is not with me. I will have to work hard to feel his comfort through his spirit. We will be writing many letters, I'm sure._

_Kelly_

_Dear Katy,_

_We are half way to Mount Shasta. It has been a long, emotional day, getting our stuff loaded into the van, saying good-bye and getting on the road. I feel so bad for Kelly and John. All morning, they worked as hard as they could, loading the truck. John wouldn't let up for a minute! The only time I saw him hesitate was when it came time to load up the things in Kelly's room. He would not go in there. We found other guys to take Kelly's furniture out while John busily loaded the van with what was brought out._

_I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to tell Joe to go to Mount Shasta without us so John and Kelly could stay together. I've also considered asking Mable and George, our neighbors if Kelly could stay with them. But, in the end, I know those would be foolish ideas, for Kelly needs to be out of the smog and in clean air. She also needs to stay with us because we are her family. Joe and I are responsible for her well-being. John understands that, I'm sure._

_Just before we left, I saw John do a very unLakota thing. After he shook hands with Joe, John walked over to Kelly and picked her up in a big hug. My heart broke for them; I could see the anguish in both their eyes. He whispered something to her, and she said something in reply, but I don't know what he said. Then he got into his Rover and drove away. He didn't go very far, however, when I saw him pull over at the next stop sign. It was hard to see, but I think he totally broke down and sobbed. About five minutes later, he drove away. Poor guy, he is feeling just as discouraged about this as Kelly is. It will be interesting to see how they live through the coming months._

_Betty_

17-24


	7. Letters

**Letters**

_Dear Journal,_

_We've been in Mount Shasta for a while now. The nearby pine trees scent the air and I am constantly amazed at how fresh and clean it smells. Nature sounds are the most prevalent noise around our place, and the deer are abundant. I could spend the rest of my life here, if only John were with me._

_I had serious seizure not long ago. It stopped my heart and put me in the hospital for three days. Fortunately, this town has a new paramedic program and those guys were quick to respond. I think Mom and Dad are talking about a long weekend trip back to LA sometime soon. Oh I hope so!_

_Kelly_

"Roll call, five minutes!" Captain Stanley yelled into the day room. The five firemen of station 51's A shift slowly got up from the couch and table. Putting aside newspapers and finishing donuts, they ambled out to the bay. Johnny, ahead of the others poked his head into the office. "Any mail, Cap"

Ever since Kelly moved, this was John's daily question. Kelly sent her mail to the station so John could have something to keep close to his heart while he was on duty. She knew he risked having the letters snatched by Chet, but so far, Chet was minding his business. John had a sneaky feeling that Captain laid it on the line as far as teasing John and his letters.

The captain shuffled through the pile in his inbox and drew forth a small, yellow envelope. With a smile, he handed it to John. Gratefully, John accepted it, tucked it into his shirt pocket and headed out into the equipment bay.

A yellow envelope. Kelly must be asking for wisdom or advice. That is what yellow represents in the Lakota culture. Kelly's first envelope was white, meaning she was going through a harsh time and was not yet comfortable in her new home. Yet, she understood she was learning to endure and understood this trial of separation from John cleansed her of her impurities.

"Here are your assignments for the day," the captain intoned to his men, "Marco, kitchen; Mike you and Chet hang hoses; John you have the dorm; and Roy, sorry buddy, I guess you have the latrine today."

"John must have gotten a letter today…" Chet started to say but the captain cut him off.

"Chet may need to go home sick and have a replacement come in," he growled. Chet was quiet and slunk out to hang hose.

John slipped into the dorm, pulled sheets out of the closet and began stripping the beds. He got one bed clean of sheets when he sat down and pulled out the yellow envelope. Ripping open the back of the envelope, he pulled out a pale yellow sheet of paper with sunflowers trailing down the sides. He smiled as he straightened it and began to read:

_Dear John,_

_How I miss you dearly! It seems forever since I have seen you, but I hold you tenderly in my heart. After spending a couple months in an apartment, we are now in a charming little house. Mount Shasta is not a big city; rather, it is a small town with about 4,300 people in it. The library is just down the road for me, and I find myself spending much of my study time there. In fact, as of last week, I volunteer some time reading to the classrooms of kids that come in. I've enjoyed it, as have they._

_This place is in a small valley between two mountain ridges. The Shasta River flows through town and the people here call it The Creek. My parents and I have taken to spending weekends climbing the hills around here, much like the hike you took us on in mid-August. We have found a mountain lake much like the one where we had our picnic. We refer to it as "John's Lake."_

_In my spare time at the library, I have read several books on Lakota culture. I am amazed, John, at how much I have learned from you. I don't know how you did it, but your heart communicates as one with mine. Perhaps it was your Spirit Guide talking to me all these years. I also found out I made a grave error. Please John, forgive me for telling you your Lakota name. According to the book I read, sharing it early could bring bad luck. Oh John, I don't want bad luck! What can we do to avoid that? I am so sorry! Perhaps you can get a hold of a Shaman and he can tell you what I can do. I will be your must humble servant if we can avoid bad luck in our marriage._

_ John, your soul (or is it your Spirit Guide) impressed upon me that our relationship is holy and sacred. I am most honored you want to hold me in your heart that way. To talk about our relationship to other people is a desecration of the holiness that we share, but I my heart is troubled. Mom asks me questions about you, but I do not know how to answer. I believe she likes you, and I also believe that in her questions she has wisdom to share with me. Seeking wisdom from her is a good thing, but talking about the sacred bond between you and me is not. I have set the Lakota books from the library out for her to look through, and she has, I believe. Yesterday she asked me about how she should treat you as your mother-in-law. Together we looked and found that because she is the one who imparts wisdom to her children, the brave must respect and serve her as the wise one of the family._

_ Mom has assured me she fully accepts you as one of her family and will be kind to you. She knows that because she will respect you, you will be eager to honor and respect her. _

_ John, help us. How do I keep the love of our hearts sacred yet seek wisdom from my mom in regards to your relationship?_

_Speaking of my mom, she is most supportive of my efforts in education. She pushes me to almost to the point of frustration. When I want to yell at her to leave me alone, I feel your spirit upon me and I settle down. I know I must be patient and learn from the wisdom of my mother. She will guide me in things I need to know in order to be a good wife to you. _

_My health is good. I did have one seizure shortly after my last letter to you. After I stopped seizing, my parents told me that the paramedics said I went into v-fib and had to use the paddles on me. That put me in sinus rhythm and into the hospital for three days. Doctor Walsh conferred with Doctor Early and both decided the seizure stress-induced. Dr. Welsh through Dr. Early ordered to two weeks of relaxation, which I agreed, so mom and I spent many hours outside walking the park trails and swimming in the lakes. It has done me much good._

_I have made some friends. One girl, Anne is close to my age and also taking classes by correspondence. She has a boyfriend and talks about him all the time, of which I have little patience for. I have met him once, and he seems nice enough, but doesn't have the depth of character you have; or at least my mom says._

_A couple boys have made my acquaintance. After several attempts, I think they have gotten the idea that I am not interested in them. They leave me alone, though in a mixed group they are all fun, I suppose. I hope to join a youth volleyball league when I am medically cleared, which I'm not yet. The v-fib really scared my parents, especially with my cardio history, and they are being extra cautious in my activities._

_I hold you in my heart, dear John, and long for the day to see you again. May you stay safe as you fight the fires. _

_My heart is __Skúyiŋ na wašté._

_Kelly._

John saw she wasn't kidding about reading the Lakota books. She was even picking up words and phrases. He won't tell her that she didn't quite get her -ending right this time, using a past-tense form of the phrase, but he was honored that she tried.

So she realized her mistake in sharing with him the Lakota name she had chosen for him. He had to write back and assure her that since she is white, his Spirit Guide will overlook her innocent mistake and that no bad luck will befall them.

He quickly changed the sheets on the beds and bagged them up for the laundry check to pick up. He knew he was going to have a good shift. He only hoped for a quiet one so he would have time to write back.

_Dear Kelly,_

_I have received your letter asking for advice. I treasure it very much and have it here in my hand. I am glad to hear your health is better. I did know about the seizure; your mom was quick to call and tell me. Dixie also told me of the conversation Dr. Early had with your doctor. Technically, she was not supposed to share it, but she is of our spirit and she knew I would want to know. I have written your mother thanking her for keeping me up to date. I am also glad you told me, for it is an honorable thing to share such information with your mate; especially since I am a paramedic!_

_ I know you are worried about the mistake you made in sharing my Lakota name. Of that, do not trouble yourself. You are white and not fully aware of the ways of Lakota. Bad luck will not come to us because of this. I am very pleased with how much you do know and how you strive to know more. You will need to decide how you want to live in the coming years; as a white person or as a Lakota. Sometimes one is hard on the other. There are times when I struggle with the customs and thoughts of the white man, and I am honored that Joe and Betty accept me so completely. Dixie, too, accepts me as a Lakota and treats my heart with dignity and respect._

_ In regards to our sacred bond; be free to speak as you need to your wise mother of our relationship. The Spirit Guide will guide you in the words you should to say. I know you are very careful in conversations to your friends; I am honored that you hold our love so tenderly in your heart. To your mother, say what you need to in order to receive the wisdom she wishes to impart to you._

_ My shifts have been uneventful the last couple of weeks. Small house fires, car crashes, and miscellaneous odd emergencies. Other than Roy having to take a couple weeks off to have his tonsils removed (again!) We are all healthy here. _

_ I am working extra shifts to earn money. The next time I see your parents, I want to present them with gifts. I am hoping that with the gifts they will answer my question in a way which will make my heart soar with happiness. I also have important information to share with Joe. I believe he will take kindly to it, but I may need to speak to Betty first. _

_ We almost had a fine motor boat at our disposal! Charlie, our maintenance guy was selling his boat and we decided to buy it. But Chet opened his mouth and shared our idea with Charley and suddenly he took his boat back. So I guess we are still stuck on land._

John stopped his writing and reread what he wrote. He pondered a moment and then continued on.

_ Dixie, Doctor Brackett, Dr. Early and all the others are still working at the hospital. Even Dr. Morton, though he's been gone for a while. I heard he is taking advanced classes to broaden his specialties. Can you imagine Dr. Morton in Psychiatry? I only hope that when he returns he will have a more tolerant bedside manner._

_ Tones just went off. Gotta go._

_Cante Etanhan Owoglake_

_John_

Grabbing up the paper, he folded it and stuffed it into his pocket as he dashed out to the squad just in time to receive the address paper handed him. It was a routine run with a ride in the ambulance to the hospital.

After seeing the patient to the treatment room, John and Roy waited for Dixie at the base station to refill their supplies. As he did with his other letters, he left this one with Dixie. She understood, without him saying a word that she was to read it to make sure there was nothing inappropriate and then mail it to Kelly.

Kelly knew, by seeing Dixie's handwriting that John was again showing his thoughtfulness by even having his letters monitored. Only the last line in Lakota was meant to be truly private between Kelly and John.

After Johnny left, Dixie took the letter and went to the coffee room to pour herself a cup of coffee. Sitting at a table, she unfolded the slightly crumpled paper and began to read. John's writing was exceptional for a man; he had a unique curvy way of ending his letters. It made the whole letter look beautiful.

It was a shorter letter than his others were, she saw, but the information within it was more direct. Though he did not outright say "marriage," he certainly implied it. Her instinct told her that this was acceptable, but it was toeing the line. She doubted John would say any more about it.

The door opened and two giggly nurses walked in. Dixie quickly folded the letter and slid it into her pocket. One of the nurses, seeing the action called out, "Dixie, a letter from an admirer?" and laughed with the other.

"Girls, this is a hospital, not a gossip center. That type of talk will not be tolerated on my shift." Dixie glared at the girls while they wilted under their nursing caps. Dixie walked out the door and back to the base station where she could find a yellow envelope and a stamp.

She was in the middle writing the address when a thought came to her. She quickly finished, applied the stamp and deposited the letter in the outbound mail slot, then turned to call Dr. Early. If this went according to plan, John may have a free week in Mount Shasta, CA.

Mac,

Kelly's been gone for quite a few months. Her letters continue to come two and three times a week. I think we have said more to each other with our letters than we ever have with our words. She is trying hard to be happy in Mount Shasta, but I can tell it is hard. That seizure a couple weeks ago told me how stressed she really is. At least she is trying to make life meaningful for herself and is continuing with her education. If only we could just spend a couple days together…

~John

To: Hank Stanley, Captain, Station 51, Los Angeles County Fire Department

From: Dr. Joe Early, ER, Rampart General Hospital

RE: John R. Gage, FM/PM

Hank**:**

It has come to my attention that FM/PM John Gage has a tendency to develop wheezing and coughing due to prolonged smoke inhalation. It is my professional opinion that the next time John is involved with a burning structure and shows complications from smoke inhalation, he needs to be placed on medical leave so he can go to a location with clean, fresh air. Currently LA County is experiencing frequent smog alerts, which will further complicate his health until his lungs are completely healed.

Dr. Joe Early, MD


	8. The Question

**The Question**

_Dear Journal,_

_I can't believe how long it has been since we've moved to Mount Shasta. I'm going to be 18 in two days, and John will be 25 in a couple weeks. We have written regularly, and I know our love is deeper know than when we first moved here. It's been very hard, but I can understand know the necessity of the trial. According to the books I've read on Lakota customs; and from what John has told me, this separation will make us stronger and will allow us to appreciate and value each other more than over. I know I have grown up a lot since we've moved. I hope that when I see John again, he will see a woman and not a little girl. Oh, my beloved, how I miss you__!_

_Kelly_

Dixie's plan, to which Dr. Early agreed, took much longer than she planned, but one day it happened. Station 51 was one of several stations called out to a chemical factory fire. The units were out five or six hours, but finally Johnny and Roy arrived with three burn and inhalation victims. Dixie could see and hear that Johnny was also suffering the effects of inhaling smoke. She paged Doctor Early, and when he arrived, she gave him "the look." He nodded and went in to see the victims the paramedics brought in.

John and Roy left their patients behind in the treatment room and went to the base station to wait for Dixie. They had used many supplies and needed to refill them. Several times John coughed, trying to get his lungs clear of smoke. Soon Dixie and Doctor Early joined them.

"Ah, John," the good Dr. Early began. "I think I hear evidence of smoke inhalation from you. Please, let me check you out."

John began to protest, "Dr. Early, I'm fine, just a little smoke, it's nothing."

"It was a chemical fire, wasn't it, Johnny," Doctor Early asked in an authoritative voice.

"Yes, but…"

"Then follow me."

Obediently, like a beaten puppy, the paramedic followed the doctor into the exam room. Roy silently followed knowing John would be difficult to deal with. Meanwhile, Dixie made a pre-planned phone call to the powers-at-be that needed to give final approval to her plan.

"OK John, take the shirt off," Doctor Early ordered.

"But Doc.."  
"John, do as I say."

With a confused, questioning look, John obeyed.

Dr. Early put his stethoscope to his ears and listened to his hapless patient's lungs. Then moving to the front of John with a tongue depressor, he flashed on his pen light and peered into Johnny's mouth.

"Uh-huh, just as I thought." I hear congested lungs and see quite a bit of irritation in your throat. That was chemical smoke, and with the smog alert we have out right now, I highly advise you get out of the city and allow your lungs to heal. They won't heal with this smog; you need to get someplace away, like perhaps northern California, for a week." Doctor Early smiled at John and gave a slight wink.

John, still trying to protest the idea of being a patient didn't quite catch what Doctor Early was saying.

"But Doc, I'm not that bad. I don't need time off; I can't take time off, I've got.."

"Junior, he said you need a week in **Northern California**." Roy interrupted the ranting John, emphasizing the last two words.

John looked blank for a moment and then it dawned on him. "Northern California, Doc?" he asked not sure if he understood.

"For a week, John." Doctor Early replied.

Just then, Dixie walked in with a "Doctor's Note" form. "John, I just called your headquarters. They agreed, toxic smoke inhalation with this smog alert needs to be taken care of properly. As soon as Dr. Early signs this for you, you need to get out of here, drop this off at headquarters, and pack for Northern California. Oh, and John," Dixie added. "Captain Stanley says to have fun."

John slipped his shirt back on. After receiving the doctor's note and Roy reached for the box of supplies, they headed out the hospital door.  
Dixie, smiling as she watched them go, picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Hello, Betty? Dixie McCall here. John is on his way."

"Well, Junior, where are you going to go for a week, Roy asked putting the key into the ignition." Roy still didn't understand the relationship between John and Kelly.

"We-hee! A whole week!" Johnny was giddy. "Huh, Oh, I thought maybe I'd go to Mount Shasta. I've heard it's a small town with lots of climbing hills." He tried to be non-committal in his answer.

"Mount Shasta, whew that's really Northern California, isn't?" Roy asked. "Are you sure you want to go that far?"

"Nah, it's only about nine-hours if I don't stop. It's not really that far," John replied.

John and Roy returned the squad to the station and stopped by the office where Captain Stanley was filling out the incident report. He looked up when he saw his two paramedics.

"John, you sure do add to my paperwork," he grumbled good naturedly as he took the note. Looking it over, he tore the top copy of the form off and handed the rest back to John.

"A whole week off because of smoke inhalation. When are you going to learn to keep your air mask on!" Well, it's a good thing we have paramedics looking for extra work, because you sure gave it to them. Now go, get out of here before I report you to headquarters for fraud!" John was speechless, but scurried to obey.

Hank watched him go and smiled. John really did deserve a vacation. He hoped John would find the answers he so desperately sought. He was also glad the department agreed.

John hurriedly changed out of his uniform and stuffed it into his laundry bag. He hardly said good-bye to his shift mates as he hurried out the door.

Johnny jumped into his Rover and dashed home. Throwing a few clothes into his bag and grabbing his camping equipment, which was always at the ready, he looked around at his sparsely furnished apartment. How he wished he had been able to do more. Then, before walking out and locking the door, Johnny went back to the spare bedroom and pulled several packages from the closet, and grabbed "Mac", his journal. He handled these with special care and tucked them carefully into the Rover.

Making sure he had enough food and drink to get him to Mount Shasta, Johnny carefully locked his apartment door.

Johnny turned his vehicle northbound, rolled down the window to let the breeze flow over his damp forehead. Doctor Early was right about one thing, the smog was thick and it did not help his irritated throat. Johnny coughed repeatedly as the miles slid past.

Johnny was well into evening about three hours into the drive, and the cooler air did help lessen the cough. Still he kept going, knowing that the excitement of going to Mount Shasta would keep him awake. Finally, about 11:30PM, John yawned and realized he had better take a break at the next rest area. He also needed gas. He was in the middle of a small town and quickly found a gas station. He filled up, and then about 20 miles further north, he found a well-lit rest area. He pulled in, and secured himself in his vehicle. Before going to sleep, he pulled Mac out and happily wrote.

Mac,

I'm on my way to Mount Shasta! I'm not sure what is going on, but after bringing patients from a structure fire, Dr. Early forced me into an exam room where he listened to my lungs and checked my throat. Then he told me I was on forced medical leave. I didn't get it; I've never had a doctor put me on medical leave for eating smoke!, His prescription? A week in Northern California! I'm on my way to see Kelly! She just turned 18 and is now legally a woman. It's been a long and lonely separation, but in just a few hours we will be together again. I'm sure Dr. Early had to pull some strings with someone to do what he did. I think Dixie is in on it, too. How will I ever thank them?

~John

Tucking Mac back with his other packages, John tried to get comfortable in his seat and went to sleep.

By 4:30 in the morning, he was again on the road, munching on granola bars for his breakfast. He was hoping to be in Mount Shasta by about 9:30 or 10:00. He thought he would stop by the CHP office first and talk to Joe.

One more gas stop, where he also took time to shave and freshen up, and John finally left the interstate for the smaller state roads that led to the town. The way was well marked, however, and John had no problem finding the scenic enclave. Road signs led him to the small CHP office. Parking the car, John got out and stretched, glad to be at his destination. He took a deep breath of fresh mountain air and realized it really did feel good in his throat and lungs. He swallowed and realized that for the first time in several weeks, he didn't feel the dry, persistent tickle in the back of his throat. Maybe Doctor Early wasn't so crazy after all.

Johnny walked inside the small, dusty building. There, a lone secretary looked up and was slightly startled to see a stranger in front of her. She frown at the dark-skinned slightly bedraggled figure and waited to see what he wanted.

"Um, hi. Is Joe Getraer in?"

"He's busy," she gruffed. John sighed. It was because of his dark skin, she had this attitude, he was sure.

Joe heard the exchange from his office around the corner and came out to see who had called his name. He was delighted to see John Gage.

"John! Good to see you, my man! Good to see you!" Joe grabbed up John's hand and pumped it eagerly. "What brings you up this way?"  
The lady at the counter was confused and a bit miffed that she had not been able to keep this unwanted pest out of her boss's office; worse yet her boss seemed to really like the nobody. She "humphed" and went back to typing a letter.

Joe led John to his office and invited him to sit down. They chit-chatted for a few minutes; John explaining that he had been sent up here on a medical leave and then there was silence.

Then, John cleared his throat. "Joe, I need to talk to you, man-to-man like. Is there a place where we can go…" John let the sentence hang.

Knowing John would not step foot in the only bar in town, Joe suggested that he take John on a tour of the town in his car. John agreed.

"Bridget, I'm taking several hours off," Joe called out to the front desk.

"Yes, Sir," the sullen woman replied. "Will you be available in the event of an emergency?"

"I should be, but if I can't be reached, make sure you get ahold of Bob, OK?" Then without waiting for a response, Joe took John's arm and led him out the door.

John held Joe off just long enough to retrieve his carefully tucked packages from his Rover and carried them to Joe's car.

Throwing open the cruiser passenger door, Joe motioned for John to get in. John slid in and Joe shut it behind him. Walking around the front, Joe opened the other side and got in behind the wheel. Starting the engine, Joe eased the car out of the parking lot and onto the city street.

They talked of the town for a bit until Joe turned in the parking lot of an expansive park surrounding a sparking lake. They got out and after walking some distance, Joe led the younger man to a picnic table hidden in the trees. John knew it was time to talk.

"Sir," John started, using the English equivalent of a Lakota term for an honored male adult. "You see that I am Indian. Does that bother you?"

"No, John, it doesn't. In fact, Betty said it was because of your Indian heritage that you have treated Kelly so well. For that we thank you."

"I am happy that you are pleased with me," John replied. He struggled with trying to carry out his Lakota duties as a potential suitor to a white man's daughter. "Sir," John began again. "I know Kelly is now 18 years old. By the law of California, she is a legal adult able to make decisions on her own. In the eyes of Lakota, she has been a woman since the time she was thirteen or fourteen. I am here because I have gifts to present to you. In the Lakota custom, a man always brings gifts to the father of the girl he wishes to marry. I wish to marry Kelly when she is ready to have me. Please know, sir that I will always treat her with dignity and respect. I know she is much younger than I am, but our hearts have been bound together since she was a young child." At this, John pulled out his gifts – a wool Indian blanket, various Native American crafts, and a beautiful, hand painted pottery bowl. It wasn't much, but Johnny hoped it would be enough.

"If you accept these gifts, I know you will accept me as your son-in-law. If you don't wish me as your son-in-law, I will leave and never bother you again." Johnny said no more but waited for Joe's word.

Joe was silent as he gazed at the despairing young man who sat with his head down. He was confused, how could John be in love with a girl whom he had spent so little time? John was a good man. He was honorable, hardworking, and kind. He had a generous spirit and a loving heart. However, what about Kelly? She was still so young; did she really love this man? She had spoken so little of him. What about her health problems? Joe had to put that thought aside, for Johnny was a paramedic and could easily care for Kelly.

He cleared his throat as if to speak. "Johnny, I must admit you did surprise me just now. You didn't need to bring me these gifts, but if I am supposed to accept them; I will. If Kelly wants to marry you, I will not stop her. But, you must promise me two things." He stopped and waited for Johnny to look up at him.

"One, always treat her with the honor and respect we have seen from you these past years." Johnny vigorously nodded his head. Joe knew that wasn't going to be a problem. "Second, please regard me as a resource you can turn to for help, any kind of help." Again, John nodded.

"Now, I suppose you would like to go see your future bride." Joe smiled and stood up. Gathering up the gifts, John stood, too.

Soon, Joe pulled into the shaded driveway of his house and led John up to the door. Betty opened as soon as they reached the top step and pulled Johnny in with a big hug. "Kelly's at the library right now, but I'm sure if you go down there, she'll be happy to see you. She has been doing a lot of reading on the Lakota life and shares with me what she has learned." Betty poured Johnny a mug of coffee.

"Betty, perhaps John would like to take a shower first and freshen up. He's been on the road a long time." Joe reminded his wife.

Betty quickly pulled out extra towels and led John to the guest room with an attached bathroom. Soon John felt the hot water pelt his tired skin as he lathered himself up. He was out and dressing when he heard a nearby door squeak open and a familiar voice call out, "I'm home!" He waited while footsteps passed his closed door and faded into the kitchen. Silently he opened the door and quietly followed Kelly.

"Hi, Daddy. You're home early. Is everything OK?" Kelly asked as John stopped and silently stood in the doorway. She turned to the fridge to pull out a pitcher of juice when something caught her eye. She looked up and gasped at whom she saw. There stood John, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and a smirk on her face. "Oh Johnny! You're here! You're here." She burst into sobs as she ran to him in a completely white man's away of affection. Johnny caught her in his arms and gave her a big hug before setting her down again. Wiping the hair from her eyes, he smiled at her and said, "Do you think you can stand to have me around for five days?"

"Five days? Oh Johnny!" Again, Kelly reached for Johnny to hug, and then remembering that wasn't appropriate, she dropped her arms and instead gave him a big smile.

Later, after the meal, Joe and John went back to the CHP station, and John brought his Rover back to the house. After cleaning it out, he, Betty and Kelly went for a short hike around a nearby park. The invigorating, pleasant walk did his lungs wonders.

_Dear Journal,_

_Oh the most wonderful thing happened today! Johnny showed up! I don't know when he got here, but all of a sudden, he was standing in the door with the most excited grin on his face. I completely forgot myself and jumped into his arms. He caught me and just about crushed me with his hug. Oh, I am so happy! We spent the afternoon hiking around a nearby park with mom. There were a million things I wanted to tell him, but just having him with me was enough. He's only here for five days, but I can hardly wait for the day when we will never be apart from each other again._

_Kelly_

That night after Johnny had gone to his room for the night, and Kelly was in her room, Joe and Betty sat in their easy chairs relaxing. Betty picked up a book Kelly had been reading, turned it to a marked page and began to read aloud. "There was no religious ceremony connected with marriage among us, while on the other hand the relation between man and woman was regarded as in itself mysterious and holy. We believed that two who love should first be united in secret, before the public acknowledgment of their love. It was customary for the young pair to disappear into the wilderness, there to pass some days or weeks in perfect seclusion and dual solitude, afterward returning to the village ready to become man and wife. An exchange of presents and entertainments between the two families usually followed, but the nuptial blessing was given by the High Priest of God, the most reverend and holy Nature."

She stopped and waited for Joe to reply. It didn't take him long. "What are you trying to tell me, Betty," he asked. They didn't realize that John was still awake and could hear everything.

"I'm thinking that we let John and Kelly go to the Justice of the Peace and let them be legally married. Then the rest of this week John and Kelly will be free to explore the hills together, without us around. They are both adults, you know. The only thing we would ask of them is that they not consummate their marriage until they have had a nuptial blessing from a white man's priest or a Lakota Holy Man. I think John will agree to that."

Joe shrugged. "Do you think Kelly loves John that much?"

"More than you know, Betty replied with meaning.

"Well, this is highly unusual, and I don't like it, but… we are dealing with a white man and Indian cultures. John has shown the utmost of honor, sooo… I guess it's OK. But, John keeps her honor until the wedding!" Joe got up from his chair and marched to his room to consider the matter.

John reached for Mac and began to write.

Mac,

I can't believe what I just heard! I think Kelly and I are going to be legally married tomorrow. Wow! Betty is one amazing, understanding woman. To finally be able to spend time with Kelly alone, to hold her hand, to kiss her, I never thought this day would come. I agree with Betty in that we will keep our honor until our wedding ceremony, and we must keep our legal marriage secret. But to finally have Kelly as my own! Oh, I can hardly wait. Our days of separation are almost over. It's been a long time, but it's been worth it.

~John

Early the next morning, Betty slipped into Kelly's room.

"Kelly, Joe and I talked last night. I read him a passage you had marked in that Lakota book; you know the one about marriage?" Kelly rolled over in bed to look at her mother more closely. Joe agreed that if you want to, you and John go to the courthouse, pick up a marriage certificate and go before the Justice of the Peace today. That way you and he will be able to be free to roam around in nature as that book suggests. However, there is to be no 'hanky-panky' until you are blessed by a holy man, OK?"

In response, Kelly threw her arms around her adopted mom and planted a big kiss on her cheek. Then she jumped out of bed declaring her need to get into the shower.

John was already up, knowing what was in store for him. He and Kelly appeared in the kitchen about the same time trying to hide the smiles and failing miserably. Betty, as the mother-in-law to a Lakota brave, knew it was her task to let John know the rules of the house. As she set the platter of French toast before the two, she cleared her throat and began.

"John, I believe you need to make an appointment today with the Justice of the Peace. Then, you and Kelly need to disappear for the rest of the week. You only have four days left. I know you have camping equipment and we have plenty of food here packed for you." Then she turned and looked at John full in the face. "But, I expect you will keep Kelly's honor until you are blessed by a holy man, do you understand me?" John, ever obedient to those who are his elder had no trouble understanding her. He knew that Betty, as his mother-in-law would have more authority over him than his own mother would, had she lived. He nodded with a big smile on his face. She slipped a sum of money into his hand with a small note attached. The money was for the filing fee for the marriage certificate as well as the fee for the Justice of the Peace.

About three hours later, John and Kelly stood before the Justice of the Peace, an elderly man in the next town. After carefully scrutinizing the document John placed in his hands, the man had the couple repeat their vows and pronounced them man and wife. John planted a gentle kiss on Kelly's forehead, turned, placed the sum of money in the old man's hand, and took the newly signed document. Grabbing Kelly's hand with his the two fairly danced out the courthouse door and into the Rover for a few days of camping.

It was wonderful climbing all around the hills above Mount Shasta! They were alone and could talk freely. John kept his word with Joe and Betty. They were pure before each other and before the Great Spirit. The two spent hours talking of their past and planning for their future. They swam, hiked and climbed through the hills and sometimes, they just sat, just enjoying the presence of each other. They cooked together, chased each other like children, and delighted in each new discovery. At night, they sat still upon a rock watching the moon rise, holding hands and letting their hearts speak to each other.

_Dear Journal,_

_I can't believe what joy the last four days have been. I am legally married to John Roderick Gage. We have been together, camping, hiking, swimming, and at times acting like kids, playing tag marveling at the tiniest bit of nature. Other times, we just sit, me leaning into John's arms and feeling the strength that pours from him. He has been honorable with me. We haven't really even kissed each other, though I have felt his lips on my forehead on more than one occasion. _

_ We are hoping to have our wedding ceremony in about two months, and it will be a nearly traditional Lakota ceremony. Oh, Journal, my heart beats full of love for Warrior Strong Heart. I believe the last four days have been nearly perfect. No asthma, no seizures, no epilepsy, I am about as healthy and happy as I can be._

_Kelly_

Mac,

I'm in heaven. Kelly is mine. We were married before the Justice of the Peace four days ago. Since then we've been roaming the hills together. Our hearts are tightly bound to each other in love and in unity. I have not touched Kelly; that won't come until after our wedding ceremony; I haven't even kissed her on the lips. These past four days have been a spiritual journey for us, and we have grown much because of it. I still have to go back to Los Angeles, and Kelly will stay here, but it will only be for a couple months. I can handle that. Our time of separation is almost over.

~John

On the evening of the fourth day, they pulled back into the driveway of Joe and Betty's house. John had to leave early the next morning to return to LA. It had been a wonderful week. Not only where his physical lungs healed, his emotional heart soared.

Betty met the two at the door and noticed with approval the ruddy cheeks, the sparkly eyes, and the honest appearance each of them had. Without asking, she knew John had kept his promise. And true to Lakota custom, they would not breathe a word to anyone that they were legally married.

That night, John retired to the guest room and Kelly upstairs to her room. Each of them dreaded thought of John departing the next morning, and hoped that the next two months would pass quickly. It would be then they would have the Lakota wedding ceremony and have a holy man bless them. At that time, their union would be complete.


	9. The Ceremony

**The Ceremony**

_Dear Journal,_

_It is only a matter of weeks now before John and I will be forever together. I am legally already Kelly Gage, but other than my mom and dad, no one else knows that. _

_We've been busy packing my things, buying essential items for John's – our – apartment, new clothes, stuff we need for the wedding, etc._

_I have so much to do; it's easy to overdo it. But Mom and Dad (and John) insist that I am in bed by 10:00PM, and am not allowed out of bed before 7AM. Still, I have two very minor seizures, and once I had some heart pain, but I didn't tell anyone; it wasn't that bad, nor did it last that long._

_Both John and I are counting the days._

_Kelly Gage_

************************************************************************* "Good morning, good morning, good morning" John sang out as he entered the locker room. "It is going to be a great day!" He swung upon his locker door and plunked his bag down. Unzipping it, he pulled out a clean uniform, regulation shoes and a brush. He smiled at his partner.

"Hey John, glad to have you back! Say, what puts you into such a good mood?" Roy asked happy to see his partner and unsure he could put up with John's wild enthusiasm.

"Ahh, Roy, I have had the most wonderful week! My lungs are healed, I've spent four fabulous days hiking and swimming. I had great conversations with friends, and wonderful food. Life is great." John did not mention Kelly, her family and certainly nothing of his visit to the justice of the peace. There will be time for that later, when they were alone in the squad.

John finished buttoning up his uniform shirt and tucked it into his pants. Grabbing his locker door, he tapped on the nose of the Smokey Bear poster and smiled. Closing it, he turned to face his partner.

Roy, who had a miserable week with paramedic Craig Brice, was glad to see his partner had such a good time. However, he also knew there was more than what John was telling. With Chet around, though, he knew better than to ask.

John bounced out of the room and hurried into the captain's office where Hank Stanley sat writing a few reports.

Unbeknownst to John, Dixie, in her wisdom, had taken time to explain to the Captain the dynamics of John's relationship with Kelly. It was that information that had allowed Hank to get Johnny to northern California in the first place.

"Cap, all present and ready to work," John announced giddily giving a mock salute and a little bow.

"John, glad to see you are back." Hank greeted his paramedic. "I hope you are well and medically cleared?"

"Fit as fiddle!" John replied. "But, I haven't seen Doctor Early yet to get my clearance."

"OK, just as soon as soon as we do roll call, you and Roy get down to the hospital. Get your supplies and get check out. I can't send you on any runs until I get a note or a phone call from the hospital, understand?"

"Yes, sir," John replied.

Just as he turned to go, Captain stopped him.

"Say, John. Is there something you would like to tell me?" Hank had a sound in his voice that told John that he had better speak up.

John felt his face redden, but he shut the door to cap's office and turned to face his boss.

"I'm getting married," he said as a matter-of-factly, but the delight in his eyes gave away the delight he felt.

"When?" Hank reached for the calendar and waiting for John to speak.

"If we get everything planned, it will be in about two months. That is according to the Lakota timeline." John replied not explaining any further.

"Timeline of what?" Stan asked, wondering if he should.

"Of me asking the father; I have two months to marry." John replied. Then he added, "You'll be able to come, won't you? We are having a mostly a Lakota wedding, and I'll need all my friends to be there."

Hank already knew the answer, but he asked one more question. "Who is the lucky bride, John?"

John reddened. "Kelly." He said softly. Then as if to defend himself, he added. "She is eighteen, now. She'll be 19 a month after the ceremony."

Hank stood and held his hand to John. "Congratulations, John. I have seen, and have been told how well you have treated her. I think you did very well in choosing her for your bride. Of course I'll be there, and I will make sure the rest of the crew is there, as well. Just give me a list of people you want, and we'll work out the details. I suppose you'll want some time off for a honeymoon, right?"  
John nodded, his cheeks still red. "Yes, probably about two weeks and a half weeks. A week before the wedding, and about nine days after."

"Don't worry about a thing, John. It will be taken care of," Hank smiled again and turned to his work. John left with a very light spring in his step.

True to his word, right after roll call, John and Roy headed to the hospital to get his official clearance, get their supplies and to let Dixie in on the good news.

They walked down the hallway; well, John bounced, and greeted Dixie at the base station. "Hey Dix," John greeted her. I need to see Dr. Early to get a medical clearance.

Dixie looked up from the note she was typing and smiled a big smile.

"Joh-hn," she purred as she saw her favorite paramedic. You're back from your leave. Did you have a good time?" She slipped him a little wink.

"Oh Dixie, I had the greatest time, I'll tell you about it a bit, but I need to see Dr. Early, first." John replied while Roy silently picked up supplies.

"I'm right here, John. Hey, you look great!" Dr. Early greeted the eager young man. "Let's step in here and I'll give you a quick look, OK?"

John flashed Dixie a big smile over his shoulder as he swaggered into the treatment room behind Dr. Early. He jumped up on the bed and opened his mouth wide. Dr. Early, chuckling, opened up the packaging of a tongue depressor, stuck it John's mouth and peered in with the aid of his pen light.

"Hmm, looks good, John," Dr. Early said as he threw the depressor away in the garbage can at his feet.

"OK, lift up your shirt and breathe deep." Dr. Early placed his stethoscope into his ears and placed the flat circle on Johnny's back. Johnny breathed in clear, deep, lungful's of air when asked,.

Dr. Early straightened up and pulled his stethoscope out of his ears.

"Johnny, your lungs sound better than I have heard them in a long time! You must have REALLY headed north!" Early laughed. "So, tell me, did you have a good time?"

Johnny's eyes sparkled but he said nothing as he jumped off the bed. "Dr. Early, can you please call the captain and tell him I'm cleared for work?" Johnny replied. "And yes, I had a wonderful time! I hope you have some time off in a couple months, because I would sure like your company!" Dr. Early, strongly suspecting what Johnny was saying since he was in on Dixie's secret, feigned confusion. "A couple months? What is going on then?" he asked.

John opened his mouth to answer, but Roy poked his head into the room. "Johnny, are you cleared to work? We just got a call."

"All clear!" John replied. "Doc?" he turned to Doctor Early as a reminder to call the captain.

"Don't worry, Johnny, it's taken care of!" Early called to Johnny's back.

Johnny didn't realize how many details there were to planning a wedding. Not all the local wedding coordinators had a clue about how to organize a Lakota wedding, so he ended up having much to do himself. Luckily, his friend from the CHP, Jon Baker now lived in Montana could help get some the supplies John needed. JoAnne and Roy, once they got over the surprise of John's announcement and explanation of his relationship with Kelly, were delighted to pitch in and help. Even Chris and Jennifer were thrilled when they found out that they would be part of the wedding party.

Kelly, from her place in Mount Shasta was plenty busy making blankets and small clothing articles. She, like John wanted to have as an authentic Lakota wedding as possible. Both she and John did readily agree to have a Christian Reverend give a homily to the couple, and oversee the vows each would give to the other, but the vows themselves would come from the Lakota culture.

Betty and Joe were excited about the upcoming wedding. They knew that Kelly, as young as she was, was well suited for John. She was also independent, self-sufficient and more than ready to take on the household chores.

Once she moved back to LA with John, she would also begin her college degree at nearby UCLA, having won a full-ride scholarship to the school. She would be close to her doctors, the hospital and surrounded by friends who know how to take care of her. Yes, the Getraers were proud of their adopted daughter.

One day, as John was creating a food list, his hand froze in midair. He had just written oranges when, in his mind, he saw Kelly slide three oranges slices onto her plate. All of sudden it dawned him. The three oranges slices symbolized three years. Kelly was fifteen when she had her Fourth-of July seizures, and now she is 18. He realized again His Spirit guide had been trying to speak to him.

John smiled a little and kept creating his list.

A week before the wedding, Kelly and her family arrived in town, and John was at their hotel to greet them. Knowing he was already legally married to Kelly, he had no problem looking deep into her eyes and giving her a kiss on the forehead. He would not kiss her on the lips until after the ceremony, for to him, that was part of a man's union with his wife.

The ceremony itself would be held at a tiny mountain resort in the northwestern part of LA County called Chumsa Island Resort, own by a Native American family. It was a popular spot for Indian ceremonies, and the Whitehorse family had accommodated John's needs perfectly. Many of John's friends would play a role in the ceremony, which would begin at 4:00PM.

The night before the big day, all of his friends from the fire department and the hospital were gathered around the pool at the resort, having arrived earlier in the day. The only four not present were Kelly and her mom; and John and Captain Stanley who was standing in as John's father. As part of the Lakota tradition, the wedding couple separately spend the evening before the wedding ceremony purifying themselves with water and sage. Hank and Betty are there to make sure John and Kelly did not see each other. So, Kelly and her mom were in one of two sauna's, John and Hank were in the other. Kelly and her mom talked a little, sharing memories and feeling blest to be together.

John and Hank didn't say much, John seemed to be in a deep meditative prayer, and Hank didn't want to disturb him.

The morning was free for the wedding party and guests the day of the ceremony. They enjoyed a late brunch in big dining hall. Afterward the guests were free to play volleyball or swim or go horseback riding, or enjoy a small putt-putt all in a different part of the resort. John and Kelly still hidden in separate rooms were served a wonderful meal there. A light meal was served at 2:30 for the guests and then they gathered outdoors where the wedding would take place. There, Robert Whitehorse explained to them in detail what would happen during each part of the ceremony and why it was important in Lakota tradition. He also assigned tasks and took the group on a brief tour of the grounds, as they would be moving from point to point during the ceremony.

John and Kelly, still in their separate rooms, spent their time writing notes to each other and cleansing themselves one last time._ Dear Journal,_

_I'm so excited, so nervous. In about three hours I will be officially Kelly Gage. I know we signed a marriage license two months ago, so technically we are already married, but after this ceremony, our marriage will be blessed. Having a Lakota wedding is not what I envisioned when I was a little girl; come to think of it, I don't think I ever really envisioned any kind of wedding. Even when John promised himself to me when I was 15, I never dreamt of my "perfect" wedding. I guess when I thought of weddings, I always saw them as something natural, like something that would "just happen." Well, in some ways a Lakota wedding is all about nature; but let me tell you, preparing for a wedding of any kind doesn't just happen! I've been working my tail off the last couple months getting ready for this. Mom, too has been a huge help. She is so excited about this wedding. I never knew she was a student of cultures and anthropology. Mom has taken it upon herself to learn all she can about Lakota customs and rituals._

_ Dad is a bit more reserved, but I'm not surprised. I know he fully accepts John, and is glad I'm marrying someone so upright and honest. I think he just wishes I were a bit older. _

_ I guess I'm supposed to be meditating and cleansing myself, but how can one meditate on her wedding day?_

_Kelly_

_Mac,_

_ We are down to minutes before Kelly is truly mine. Who knew I would someday marry. My biggest fear is that something would happen to me and Kelly is left a widow. I remember how I felt when my dad died…yeah, well, this supposed to be a happy day, so I won't dwell on sad or troublesome memories._

_ I have chosen Kelly's Lakota name; White Rose Heart. White because she is pure, but also because she has withstood many trials in her life. Her trials are what cleansed her and made her pure. Rose, because she is as sweet as a beautifully scented rose. Also, my aunt who took me in and raised me is also named Rose. Heart comes from…well, from her name to me. She innocently told me my name early and has the word heart in it. Kelly is strong, independent and determined. She has a warrior's heart, even though she is a maiden._

_ I look forward to have Betty as a mother-in-law. She won't be at all like Joanne's mom who seems to live only for scorn. I cringe every time I see her. I really think Betty will be the mom I haven't had since I was eleven years old._

_ Joe is quiet and reserved, but not rude. He greets me heartily enough and takes a real interest in the paramedic work. I think he is concerned about Kelly's age. And, I don't think he really knew the seriousness of our relationship all these years. Betty know, I'm sure, but she kept from Joe._

_ I, John Roderick Gage, pledge my love, honor and life to my bride, Kelly Jane Getraer Gage._

_John_

_Dear Katy,_

_ It seems just like yesterday Kelly came into our homes a very sad and lost 11-year-old girl. She would hardly say a word, and it seemed she wouldn't look at us. Now, just seven years later, Joe and I will be accepting our 18-year-old daughter's husband as our son-in-law. In some ways it has been a lifetime; in others, just a wink of an eye._

_ What a path we have all walked! From heartache to joy, from sorrow to celebration. John Gage is just about the perfect mate for Kelly. He's strong, sensitive, compassionate and sincere. He and Kelly relate to each other on a level so deep that I don't think even Joe and I have experienced it. Is because of their traumatic childhoods? John was orphaned and abandoned at a young age as well. Is it because of his Native American upbringing that connects him so well with Kelly? I guess I will never know these answers. _

_ I have certainly enjoyed learning more about John's people, the Lakota. I never knew that such gentleman and modest behaviors are the fabric of their lifestyle. I dare say it sounds like some of their courting rituals come right from the Amish community – with an Indian twist, of course._

_ Well, Kelly and John are soon to be wed in a Lakota ceremony. I gladly welcome John into our family. I know they will do well by each other._

_ Joe has accepted their wedding, but seems reserved. I think he is a bit concerned that Kelly is so young. I also think, though he won't admit it, that his secretary, Bridgett is being quite hostile. He told me she was quite rude to John when John first showed up. And, though Joe is very careful not to talk about John at work, Bridgett knows enough to give Joe a hard time. I know he likes John very much and values the man's integrity, work ethic and love he has for Kelly._

_ I have my Kleenex pack ready. It is not long now._

_Betty_

About 3:30 while Robert was talking with the guests outside, Janice Whitehorse brought a small plate of fruit and a sandwich to each of them. She helped Kelly into her white Indian gown and carefully tied up the strings. Then taking some face paint, she painted Kelly's face red. About 3:45 she expertly folded Kelly into a gray blanket and led her outside, out of sight of the other guests to a point on a path. There, Mrs. Whitehorse directed Kelly to sit down. With a smile of encouragement, she left.

Precisely at 4:00, Robert directed the people follow him. They started down the path a couple hundred feet when he turned around, held up his hands and directed them to stop. Pointing to Kelly sitting the shadows, he began his explanation of what they were about to witness.

"You see that the woman's face is painted red, and the man's face is painted red with a blue circle around the face and blue lines on the chin, forehead and cheeks. The face painting symbolizes change. This couple is being reborn into a new family and takes responsibility in getting along in the new relationship. All past grievances between the new relatives are forgotten and a lasting bond of community is forged." All watched as John emerged from the shadows in a magnificent Indian outfit. A few feathers were secured into his short fire department regulation haircut. He quietly walks toward Kelly as Robert Whitehorse, the narrator continues. "If a Lakota girl is interested in a particular young man, and was of marrying age, she might stand or sit outside her family's tipi under close parental supervision, wrapped in a blanket and wait for him to come by. When the man approaches, she would open her blanket. If he accepted her invitation and stepped inside the circle of her blanket, it showed his intention of courting her for marriage, and preparations began."

As Robert spoke, John approached Kelly who opened her blanket. John stepped closer to her and allowed her to closet it around him. Then, as Robert began the next narration, John opened up a small box he held in his hand.

"After being accepted into the blanket, the man would then offer the woman a marriage token."

At this, John slipped a simple engagement ring on Kelly's finger.

"The couple has announced their intentions to become married. They walk together in the blanket, followed by their friends and relatives who are shouting and cheering." Robert announced.

At this, John and Kelly slowly walk through their crowd of friends who are indeed cheering and whistling.

Then, while John, Kelly and a few chosen members of their wedding party prepared for the next part of the ceremony, Robert explained what happened in history.

"Generally while preparations were made for the couple's ceremony, it was customary for the young pair to secretly disappear into the wilderness, there to pass some days or weeks in perfect seclusion and dual solitude, afterward returning to the village for the ceremony. During their time of seclusion, they would have kept themselves pure before each other and before the Great Spirit. There was no union between them while they were in the wilderness.

"John and Kelly completed their voyage in the wilderness about two months ago. It was at that time they signed the marriage certificate to make their marriage legal. In effect, then, they have been married for two months already. However, they will refer to this ceremony as the day they were married," Robert explained to the surprise of nearly all present.

From the rear, there was a rustle of noise. The audience members turn to look. They saw Captain Stanley, Joe, Roy and Mike Stoker holding a blanket tight against their shoulders. Riding in the blanket on their shoulders was John, still attired in his outfit, but his face free of paint. Behind him came the women; Betty, Dixie, Emily, Joanne, and Bonnie Clark from the CHP, with Kelly riding the blanket on their shoulders, her face likewise washed clean. The men arrived at the front and let John down. Then the women let Kelly down. They spread their blanket on the ground while the men held their blanket up John and Kelly stepped onto the blanket while the Reverend gave the Christian homily.

Behind the audience, Chet, Marco, Jon Baker from the CHP and Ponch from the CHP quietly laid wood for three fires, a smaller one on each side of the larger one which was in the middle. The men placed the wood for the smaller fires on a metal sheet attached to rollers so a foot or hand would easily and safely push it toward the middle fire. Ponch also dribbled a small amount of lighter fluid over the wood of the middle fire pit, just to make sure the fire would light when needed.

Chet and Marco stood by the smaller fire pits waiting for the signal to light them.

The pastor soon completed his admonition to the couple. Then the two walked slowly through the gathering to the three woodpiles, with the Lakota holy man and the reverend following behind them. John and Kelly approached the fires pits where they separated and went each to their own. Here Robert explained to the audience, "The bride and groom each offer a silent prayer as the two small fires are lit. (Marco and Chet light the fires.) The Lakota Shaman will chant as the couple prays, so the prayers will be lifted up to heaven." The audience could hear a quiet, melodic chanting as the Shaman stands between Kelly and John.

"After both fires burn for a few moments, the bride and groom begin saying their vows. After each vow, they each push their fire closer to the middle." Robert explained.

At this, John began: "My beloved, our love has become firm by your walking one with me. Together we will share the responsibilities of the lodge, food and children. May the Creator bless noble children to share. May they live long." John then turns to honor the children present; Chris and Jennifer. He hands each of them a Lakota dream catcher. He then pushes his fire toward the middle one step.

Kelly speaks: "This is my commitment to you, my husband. Together we will share the responsibility of the home, food and children. I promise that I shall discharge all my share of the responsibilities for the welfare of the family and the children." She pushes her fire closer.

John: "My beloved, may the Creator bless you. I will love you and you alone as my wife. I will fill your heart with strength and courage: this is my commitment and my pledge to you. May God protect the lodge and children". Another push with the fire.

Kelly: "My husband, at all times I shall fill your heart with courage and strength. In your happiness I shall rejoice. May God bless you and our honorable lodge." She gives her fire a little push.

John: "My beloved, now that you are with me, our wealth and prosperity will grow. May God bless us. May we educate our children and may they live long." Push

Kelly: "My husband, I love you with single-minded devotion as my husband. I will treat all other men as my brothers. My devotion to you is pure and you are my joy. This is my commitment and pledge to you." Push

John: "My beloved, it is a great blessing that you have joined me as my wife. May the Creator bless you. You have brought favor and sacredness in my life."

Kelly: "My husband, in all acts of righteousness, in material prosperity, in every form of enjoyment, and in those divine acts such as worship and charity, I promise you that I shall participate and I will always be with you."

John: "My beloved, now you have promised your life to me. May the Creator make us prosperous. May the Creator bless us."

Kelly: "My husband, I will share both in your joys and sorrows. Your love will make me very happy."

John: "My beloved, May I fill your heart with great joy and peace, time and time again. May the Creator bless you."

Kelly: "My husband, the Creator blesses you. May I fill your heart with great joy and peace. I promise that I will always be with you."

John: "My beloved goddess, our love and friendship have become inseparable and firm. We have experienced spiritual union in God. Now you have become completely mine. I offer my total self to you. May our marriage last forever."

Kelly: "My husband, by the law of the Creator, and the spirits of our honorable ancestors, I have become your wife. Whatever promises I gave you I have spoken them with a pure heart. All the spirits are witnesses to this fact. I shall never deceive you, nor will I let you down. I shall love you forever."

Kelly and John each push their fires one more time. This time the fires are together in the middle pit. Just as soon as the flames flare up and burn brightly, everyone cheers for the new couple.

Robert spoke one last time. "The couple will lead us to the dining room where there will be a feast. There, they will receive your congratulations at the door. When they enter, I will officially announce them by their English names and by the Lakota names they have chosen for each other. They will hear these names for the first time. Here Kelly blushed a little knowing she had mistakenly told John his name early. He looked over at her and gave her a boyish grin. She smiled back.

After Robert's speech, Betty and Hank, wrapped the couple in a white blanket. Kelly and John then slowly lead the way to a dining room laden with food. At the doorway, they step aside and let their guests in, receiving their congratulations.

Then Robert steps forward and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen; warriors and squaws, I would like to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. John Gage; Warrior Strong Heart and White Rose Heart."

John and Kelly entered the dining room to clapping and cheers. Then they carefully laid the blanket aside and circulated among their guests for a while.

About an hour later, the couple quietly left and headed to a teepee at the end of trail. A few appointed people see that John and Kelly have left, and make the announcement. Everyone leaves their food and follow John and Kelly down the trail to the teepee. There, they cheer again until John throws out handfuls of corn. Then the guests depart, to finish their meal and to separate for the evening.

At 8:50 the next morning, Kelly and John left through the teepee and made their way up the trail to the dining room. They each had with them a small present. Before anyone began eating their morning meal, Kelly and John presented the gifts. Kelly went to Captain Stanley and thanked him for taking care of John through his years with the fire department. Then she handed him the small gift, which Hank opened. It was a beautiful pen and pencil set.

John then went to Betty and thanked her for teaching Kelly the ways and wisdom of a woman. His gift to her was a small brooch.

Everyone clapped and ate their morning meal with a flourish.

When the dishes were cleared away, Robert then explained that this was the ceremony of abundance. Gifts were exchanged and provisions were made for those who were poor or ill among the tribe. He pointed to a large box in the corner. "This box is here so those who wish can donate some food for our local food shelf," he said. "Please feel free to place your items there."

John had advised his guests beforehand to bring canned food for the food shelf so many guests came prepared. For the next hour, there was much laughter and pleasantries while John, and Kelly received gifts and gave small thank you tokens in return. Finally, he stood up. Everyone quieted while he reached under a table and pulled out a small pile of treasures. These he carried over to Betty and placed them before her. Bowing deeply he held out his apartment key. Robert explained that John was showing his utmost respect to the wise mother of his bride and was signifying his willingness to serve her in anyway. His home would always be her home; she would always have a roof over her head.

Then it was time to go. John and Kelly bid a hardy farewell and, hand in hand, they hurried out the door to his Rover, which had been parked in a garage all this time. It was time for their honeymoon.

_Dear Journal,_

_ Does every bride feel like this; nervous, excited, uncertain? John and I are now one – in every sense of the word. I am so overwhelmed by everything that has happened in the last 18 hours or so – the ceremony, the dining, the friends, the new experiences. I'm not sure that there is even language for the depth of my feelings and emotions right now. If I had to attempt words, I guess, "connected," "holy" "perfect," and "everlasting" would be the closest I could come to what is in my heart and soul, but even they are incomplete and poor descriptors of what I feel. _

_ I do know that John is and forever will be mine. Never again will we be separated (OK, I know he works 24 hours shifts at the station) that will force us to write letters. _

_ I also know that during the time of our separation, he and I got to know each other so much more. I really did need to grow up. Last night, I became fully grown. _

_Kelly (White Rose Heart) Gage_


	10. A New Life

**A New Life**

_Dear Journal,_

_It's been an amazing couple of months, starting with when John first showed up at our house all the way to today. He and are I married and wedded; and yes, for us those two words will have different meanings for the rest of our lives. _

_What is going to be like living in a white world and Lakota world? I have learned much, but there is still so much to learn. I know the journey will not be easy, but I will endure. Isn't that why John gave me the name WHITE Rose Heart? Is it because, while I have had many trials in my life, and many more to come, I have endured with a heart as sweet and as pure as a white rose? _

_Right now we are headed to John's aunt. I have not met her before and John does not speak of her. I'm scared – rather nervous. I'm white, she's Lakota. I only hope that I will receive the guidance I need._

_Kelly_

John and Kelly headed south as they drove from their favorite camping spot. They were on their way home, but John said they had one stop to make before they arrived home, and it would take about an hour for them to get there. Kelly was nervous about that stop. She was going to meet John's aunt, the woman who raised him from the time he was twelve years old. Really, his life's struggles and hers were so similar.

John's aunt had not been able to come to the wedding celebrations as she was still recovering from a broken hip. At least now, she was home and could get around with the aid of a walker or cane. A cleaning lady came over once a week to clean, and her neighbor helped with the groceries. It was this aunt who impressed upon Johnny his heritage and the importance of being an honorable Lakota. Kelly was nervous about the aunt accepting her, because, according to John, she generally had a great disdain for the whites, especially young white girls. Kelly was a young, white girl. Even though John assured Kelly repeatedly, she still found herself twisting her hands in her lap as they rolled ever closer to John's first destination.

All too soon, John pulled up to an old but clean house. The yard was nicely trimmed and had several flowerbeds along the fence line and in front of the house. Bright yellow, blue, white and dark purple flowers decorated the various beds with green bushes and small trees nicely planted throughout. John opened the worn gate and swung it back. Taking Kelly's hand, he led her up the sidewalk. Kelly's heart was pounding, and John could feel her hand trembling. He wondered, for a moment, if she was going into a seizure, but her clear, nervous eyes reassured him she was OK for now. He rang the doorbell and stepped back from the door.

A moment later, the door creaked open and an old woman, dark with white hair poked her head out. Kelly, though nervous, was amazed at the health and vitality shining through the woman's face and eyes. John's aunt didn't look like the wrinkled, bent over woman Kelly had expected. This woman had vigor through her whole being. Kelly was relieved and terrified at the same time.

"John, come in, come in!" The woman reached out her hand to invite him into her home.

John didn't come in right away; instead, he told her, "Honored Aunt, I have brought a guest," as he pulled Kelly a little closer to him.

Kelly glanced at the woman and then looked down. "I am honored to meet you, Wise One," she muttered and then, instinctively stepped forward to brush the old lady's cheeks with her lips. She then stepped back with red creeping up her cheeks.

John's aunt was surprised at the unexpected move. John, also, was amazed at how well Kelly seemed to follow the promptings of the Spirit Guide. Still, his aunt could not help

exclaiming, "John, she's white!"

On hearing this Kelly dropped her head but replied, "I am honored to meet the relative of Warrior Strong Heart."

The aunt studied Kelly closely. Finally, she asked, "John did not tell you to say that, did he?"

"No, Honored One; he did not. His spirit has been upon me since I was eleven years old."

At this John's aunt was alarmed and looked severely upon her nephew. "John, you haven't…."

"No, Honored One," Kelly hurriedly interrupted. "He has been only Lakota to me. He has treated me with the greatest of honor."

John's aunt looked more kindly upon Kelly and asked, "You are not Lakota, are you?"

"By John's spirit, I am." Kelly replied with confidence growing in her voice.

"Then you are welcomed into my home," the aunt said warmly. "Lift your eyes and find wisdom."

Kelly happily lifted her eyes, looked into the eyes of John's aunt, and felt a warm kiss land on her forehead.

"John, when did you receive your name?" his aunt asked as she held the door wide for the two to enter.

"Five nights ago." John replied.

"And what is your name, my dear?" She turned to Kelly.  
Kelly was unsure what name to use and looked to John for guidance. His nod told her she was to tell her Lakota name. "My name is White Rose Heart," she said timidly.

"John, you have greatly honored me," his aunt replied, looking at her nephew with a big smile.

"Thank you, Aunt Rose," John said with a smile. I hoped you would be happy with White Rose Heart. Her English name is Kelly. Now, you sit and I will take care of you." John helped his aunt to an easy chair.

With her direction, John and Kelly quickly had cookies, milk and tea set out. John assisted his aunt to the table, and they enjoyed a delightful snack together.

When they finished, Aunt Rose pushed her plate back and Kelly was quick to jump up and take it to the kitchen. However, Aunt Rose waved her away. "Sit Kelly, we need to talk."

John took the plate from Kelly's hand, gathered up the other tableware, and went to the kitchen. Soon, he had water filling the sink so he could wash the few items.

"Kelly, tell me, how did you meet John?" Aunt Rose asked. Kelly wasn't sure how to answer that question. Finally, she swallowed and replied. "Aunt Rose, I don't think I really ever met him. One day, he was just there. He was always there." She wasn't sure if Aunt Rose would accept that answer.

Aunt Rose nodded with approval. "When did you first know of your love for him?" she then asked.

Again, Kelly thought for a moment trying to figure out how to answer the question without desecrating their love by speaking about it. She finally straightened up, looked at Aunt Rose in the eye and replied, "When the Great Spirit was ready for me know."

There was another nod of approval. "How do your parents feel about you marrying an Indian?"

This time Kelly didn't have to think of an answer. "My adopted parents have fully accepted John – Warrior Strong Heart – into their family. It is because he kept my honor sacred that they allowed him into their home. My mom has taken much time to study and learn of the Lakota way so she can be an honorable mother-in-law to John."

"You say 'adopted' parents. What of your real parents?"

At this, Kelly looked down in shame. "My life has not been easy. My experiences are ones that put my heart on the ground. But, my adopted family…" at this Kelly looked up with her eyes shining with gratitude, "…my real FAMILY loves me and to me that is what 'real' is all about."

Aunt Rose smiled. "Dear, I have one or two more question for you. What of your friends, how do they feel about you marrying an Indian?"

Kelly looked the old women in the eye and replied, "Of the girls my age, I know not their feelings because they do not know of the relationship between John and me. That is sacred and I will not desecrate John's heart with such idol talk. Of John's friends and co-workers who are my friends, they are happy for us. They know John is a hard worker and true gentlemen and wishes only the best for us."

"Kelly, you have done well with your answers. Thank you for being honest with me. Now, my last question, how will you deal with racism and hatred from people who find out you are married to an Indian?" Aunt Rose looked hard into Kelly's eyes.

A flicker of uncertainty crossed through her eyes, not because Kelly was unsure of her love of John; rather, she truly didn't know the answer.

"Wise one, I don't know how I would respond. I only hope that when that time comes, the spirit of Warrior Strong Heart will be upon me and I will remain honorable in my actions and words."

From the kitchen, John couldn't help but smile. Kelly did well, better than she realized, and John was proud of her. He quietly placed the cup back in the cupboard, wiped the counter and draped the damp dishtowel on the towel rack mounted on the wall. Then he returned to the dining room and put his arm around Kelly's waist. She looked up at him grateful that she was no longer alone.

Aunt Rose gazed at the two and then smiled.

"John, I have something for you and for Kelly. If you go into the closet in my spare room, you will find a white box on the shelf. Get for me, will you?" John quickly did has he was told. Soon he returned with the box and placed it before her. Then he went back to Kelly and circled her waist with his arm.

Aunt Rose pulled the lid off, reached in and pulled out a beautifully engraved silver hair barrette. Three single feathers hung from about four inches of beaded thin leather strips. Kelly gasped at the beauty of the delicate object. Aunt Rose motioned for Kelly to turn around. Carefully pulling Kelly's shoulder length brown hair together in the back, Aunt Rose positioned the barrette in the center of Kelly's head. She studied her handiwork with a critical eye and then told Kelly, "Yes, it is right. This barrette is yours. John will tell you of its history."

Kelly looked at John and was surprised to see his eyes bright with tears.

"That barrette was my mother's," he whispered. "I thought it was lost when…when…." But he could say no more. Instead, he turned to his aunt, "Where did you find it?"

Aunt Rose merely shook her head and replied, "I have it, John; that is what is important. Now it belongs to Kelly. It is right for her."

Again, she reached into the box and pulled out a leather shield. The leather was stretched over a wooden frame and was about 13 inches in diameter. There was a remarkably detailed painting of a bald eagle rising in flight in the center, and eagle feathers were attached at the sides, and hung from thin leather straps along the bottom. A red-beaded leather strap was attached at about the 11:00 o'clock and 1:00 positions along the top so John could hang it from the wall.

John gasped and reverently reached out to stroke the feathers. "Aunt Rose," he choked, "How did you managed to save this? I thought my father…." Again he stopped, not able to talk about his past.

"John," Aunt Rose spoke compassionately. "Your father was a fool. Though he tried to destroy our Indian ways, he could not. With the Great Spirit's help, I've been able to hide these things important to us. Take your grandfather's shield and your mother's barrette. I know you will treat them reverently, and so will your wife." Aunt Rose looked over at Kelly and chuckled at the started eyes that met her. Kelly was still getting used the term 'wife.'

"Oh, Aunt Rose! How can we ever thank you?" John was openly sobbing at the treasures before him; treasures he thought were lost to him forever.

"You know, John; I was not sure I would give these to you. I was concerned you would walk away from your Lakota heritage. I am so pleased to see you have not deserted it. So I am honored to give you these gifts from your mother and grandfather." Aunt Rose was pleased with John's reaction.

Carefully John took the barrette from Kelly's hair and placed it in the box. Then, picking up the leather shield, he held it reverently for a moment, staring at the picture. Finally, he placed it in the box and carefully secured the lid. The three of them chatted a while longer. Finally, with one final hug from each of them, they left Aunt Rose and headed out to the car.

It was late in the evening when John pulled out of the driveway and back onto the quiet tree-lined street heading toward the interstate. Kelly sighed. "Whew, that was stressful, but kind of fun, too."

John glanced over at her and smiled. "I am so proud of you. I knew I made a good choice in marrying you. You will do well. I only pray that when trials come, you will have the courage to be honorable to the Lakota way of life." John reached for her hand and squeezed it. Kelly squeezed back and replied, "With the Great Spirit's help, I will be."

John and Kelly were mostly silent for the forty-five minute drive back home. Kelly watched the sun fade into darkness and street lights blink on. John thought about how Kelly would accept the place she would now call home.

Finally, John pulled into the apartment complex he – they called home and drove between the two buildings of apartments before he expertly pulled the car into its narrow, assigned parking spot. John turned off the motor and looked over at Kelly.

"We're home," he stated with a sigh. Kelly looked at him with nervous, but determined eyes. "This is where life gets fun," she determinedly.

John had told her that his apartment was old, and he didn't have much in the way of furniture. Kelly wasn't sure what to expect. John wasn't sure how Kelly would react to the worn apartment and mismatched furniture.

Together they got of the car, grabbed an armload of camping supplies and the precious white box and made their way up the stairs to John's apartment. Fishing a key out of his pocket, John unlocked the door and swung it open. Then dropping his burden, he swung Kelly up, carried her across the threshold, and gently set her down in the kitchen. Kelly looked around at the worn linoleum, the twenty-year-old refrigerator, the scuffed and scratched countertops, and the old cupboards. Upon closer inspection, however, Kelly saw that the countertops were clean, the floor swept, the old sink clean and shining, and the windows washed.

John came in with another load of camping supplies. "What do you think, Kelly?" he asked as he moved past her to put the supplies away. Stepped aside while he opened the entry closet door. Kelly immediately smelled the smoky, woodsy smell of the outdoors and knew that is where Johnny stored the camping equipment.

Quickly the two finished unpacking the essentials and sorting dirty clothes. Then, because John had to go to work in the morning, they went to bed.

_Mac,_

_Now the journey begins. After a magical week and a half, I have to go back to work tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it, in a way, but certainly not in other ways. How can my life ever be the same? All of a sudden, I have a someone who will be waiting for me to return home safely after each shift. Is that going to make me second guess myself while out on a run? I might need to talk to captain and Roy about how they deal with being a fireman and a husband. The thought of leaving someone behind is a terrifying thought for me. Do I wish I had not married Kelly? NOT ON YOUR LIFE! I'm just going to have to figure out how to be a safe paramedic/fireman and a husband _

_at the same time._

_I wish I didn't have to leave Kelly alone here tomorrow – I mean we just got home. But, I can't baby her. She's a woman now, and she is strong and independent. She has assured me she will be fine, but still I worry. I guess these next few weeks will be the time we adjust to our new lives. I know that if we are still and listen, the Great Spirit will guide us._

_~John_

_Dear Journal,_

_ Well, we're home. This is the first time I've been in John's apartment. I guess it's OUR apartment now. It IS old, like he told me, but is clean and well kept. We got the camping supplies put away, and are now in bed. John has to work tomorrow. I know he is excited about getting back, but he seems worried. I hope he sees me as a woman, independent and capable; and not some child that needs to be coddled. I think it is going to be a bewildering few days, but we will manage, and thrive._

The alarm clock disturbed the sweetly sleeping couple at 6:30 in the morning. John instantly jumped out of bed, as was his habit. His sudden movements startled Kelly who also jumped out. "What happened?" She cried, as she her body struggled to wake up.

John, still half-asleep himself, realized what happened. He sat back down on the bed and gathered Kelly into his arms. Brushing back her sleep tossed hair he whispered in her ear. "It's Ok, Honey. The alarm startled me and I jumped out of bed. It comes from having to jump out when the alarm goes off at the station in the middle of the night. I'm sorry. Please, just go back to bed for a while. I shower quickly and leave quietly so you can sleep some more." He gazed into his beloved's comprehending eyes. Those eyes turned into determined brown orbs.

"Go back to bed, indeed!" Kelly exclaimed pushing away from John and reaching for her bathrobe. "I don't think so." While you shower, I'll get some breakfast ready for you."

John laughed and conceded. "OK."

Kelly left their bedroom and walked into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and found fruit, milk, eggs, meat, and other good food. The fridge was stuffed full of fresh good things. Kelly knew that her mom and probably others had made sure there was food in the fridge before they returned home. Pulling out bread, eggs, two potatoes, milk and a couple apples, Kelly closed the fridge and set the food on the counter. Peering through the various cupboards, she found plates, bowls, cups, dry goods, canned goods and boxed goods. Somehow she had a very sneaky feeling this was the most food John had ever had in his apartment.

Kelly chose a box of cereal and set it on the table with a couple bowls, plates and silverware. Then finding the pots and pans in the drawer under the stove, she pulled out a large fry pan and set it on the burner. Turning the heat up, she set to work peeling and slicing the potato, dropping the slices into some hot oil. They sizzled in protest as Kelly pushed them to one side and turned the heat down so the food wouldn't burn. She cracked two eggs into the other side of the pan, and then briefly panicked, wondering if John even liked eggs or how he liked them. She shoved her uncertainty away as she continued setting out breakfast, hoping that she wouldn't burn anything, as she was often apt to do.

Soon John walked into the kitchen wearing a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt and smelling the aroma of a good breakfast. Kelly was surprised at his choice of clothes; she assumed he would dress in his uniform. Kelly dished up the food, and set it on the table. John popped two pieces of bread into the toaster while she quickly sliced up the apples.

John went to fridge, opened it and peered inside. "Wow!" He muttered. "Where did all this food come from?" He shuffled through the produce and brought out a half-gallon jug of orange juice. He poured the juice into two cups while Kelly buttered the toast that popped up from the toaster.

They sat down and enjoyed eating the food together. All too soon, John had to leave. Putting his dishes into the sink and making sure the food was cleared off the table, he caught up Kelly in his arms and gave her a big kiss. He held her a moment longer, gazing into her eyes. "I wish I didn't have to leave you hear alone," he told her wistfully. "I will try to call you when I can, OK?"

"Don't worry about me, Johnny," Kelly replied circling her arms around his neck. I've plenty to do here to keep me busy. But… I wouldn't mind a call." She smiled and gave him a return kiss.

John kept his hold on her, almost wondering if he should stay at home one more day, but then he turned, grabbed his overnight bag and walked out the door.

In the sudden stillness, Kelly looked around at the apartment she now called home. Having returned home late the night before, she really didn't have a chance to acquaint herself with the place.

Kelly went back into the bedroom. After showering and dressing in a comfortable pair of jeans and button-up shirt, Kelly returned to the kitchen to clean up and wash the remains of breakfast. Soon Kelly had the dishes were washed, dried and put away; the table wiped and the counters cleaned.

Kelly carefully hung the damp dishtowel along the edge of the counter and again began to look around. She could see that many of their wedding gifts were already put away, thanks to Betty, Dixie and some of her other friends. Betty had used the key John had given her to get in and organized the place.

Wandering into the living room, Kelly spotted an old couch up against the wall. A side chair stood guard by the end window and a scratched and wobbly coffee table squatted in the middle of the room. Kelly wondered if they could find a better table at a thrift shop.

Meandering down the short hall, Kelly ended up in their bedroom. The bed was a good, sturdy model and the mattress was almost new. The spare bedroom was nearly empty, with only an old nightstand and a torn chair in the corner.

Suddenly aware of the loud sound of silence, Kelly was acutely aware she would be alone until tomorrow morning and tears momentarily sprung in her eyes. Is this what she wanted? This was the first time she was separated from her husband. Suddenly, living apart from John in Mount Shasta seemed like a lifetime ago. She sighed, went to her room and reached for her journal.

_Dear Journal,_

_ I never knew silence could be so loud. John left a few minutes ago for the station. Suddenly I feel so alone! Oh, there is plenty to do to keep me busy, but those chores seem so small in the vast emptiness of loneliness. However, I told John I would be OK, and so I shall. It's all just a little bewildering, that's all. I just want to cry._

_Kelly_

Kelly tossed her book onto the bed, grabbed up her pillow and buried her head in it. A few tears slid down her face only to be smothered by the pillow. A minute or two later, she sat up, sighed, chided herself for being so childish and set about to make the bed.

"John! Welcome back!" Marco was quick to greet the grinning self-conscious paramedic. He knew he was going to get some ribbing about finally being a married man.

"Hey John, how's married life treating you?" Chet was there to get a jab in.

"Hi, Junior; am I glad to see you!" Roy looked extremely grateful to finally be rid of that pesky Craig Brice.

"Hey, let's see that wedding band." Mike was curious to see John's gold band. On it was a small engraving of an eagle rising in flight; just like the painting on the leather shield. John had it and Kelly's ring specially carved for them a month before the ceremony and before he knew of his aunt's gift. He slipped it off and gave it to Mike who admired the detailed carving. Then John slipped the ring into its little box and then placed it in his duffel bag. He shoved the bag into the back corner of his locker and shut the door. It was against policy for paramedics to wear jewelry at work; it was too much of a work hazard.

The men bantered together before roll call. Soon afterward, the tones sounded and Roy and John were off on their first run of the day. It was a two-car accident, and one patient needed transport to the hospital. The other patient was fine and said he would see his own doctor later.

John rode the ambulance. The patient was a 24-year-old young man with a gash on his forehead and a possible broken arm. At the hospital, John hurried along with the gurney into treatment room three where he hung the IV onto an IV pole. He reported the latest vitals to Dr. Brackett and turned to leave the room only to nearly run into a young nurse that seemed to always be in the way.

"Anne," Dixie scolded, "You need to watch yourself, you must stay out of the way."

"Yes, ma'm," Anne replied, but she was watching John. He stepped around her, left the room and strode to the base station where Roy waited. Anne followed right behind.

John, not noticing the nurse followed him, was pouring himself a cup of coffee when Anne approached.

"John," she purred.

"Hmm?" John grunted while taking a gulp of the hot liquid.

"I was wondering…."

Just then the radio in Roy's hand beeped. Plunking the coffee cup down, John and Roy hurried to the squad.

Anne watched the two men with a frown of frustration on her face. For three years she's been trying to get John's attention, and he always seemed to see through her, as if she wasn't even there. The other nurses had said that John was always looking for a nurse to date, so here she was, but he never paid attention. What was wrong with her or him?

Kelly explored the rest of the small apartment. She found the small laundry closet squeezed in between the bathroom and the spare bedroom, with the double stacked washer and dryer. The washer couldn't hold more than three pair of jeans at a time, so Kelly knew that getting a week's worth of laundry done for two people was going to be a very long process. She sorted the clothes, got the first tiny load started and returned to the kitchen, picking up a pencil and pad of paper she found in the spare room closet.

She decided was had to make a daily plan, and write down short, medium and long term goals.

Kelly had earned a Summa Cum Laude distinction on her high school diploma, earning a 3.98 GPA. Though she had graduated from a distance education, home schooling program, her GPA was weighted against about 2000 other students who earned their diplomas the same month she did. With her high grades, she had won a full scholarship at UCLA to study nursing. Suddenly she wasn't sure if she wanted to go this term. Oh, she would go, but she felt that first she needed to adjust to married life and earn a little money. However, what could she do?

Before the panic of loneliness set in again, Kelly picked up the phone and wondered whom to call. Almost automatically, she dialed Roy and JoAnn's number. Joanne answered on the second ring.

"Joanne, this is Kelly Gage. I was wondering if you were busy today. I need…." Kelly felt the tears creep into her eyes again.

Joanne understood. "Kelly, I'll be right over. Chris just left for school, and I'm dropping Jennifer at her play date. I'll be there in about 20 minutes, OK?

"Thanks, Joanne," Kelly sighed. She hoped the older woman would give her direction and guidance.

Soon there was a knock at the door and Kelly opened it. She smiled bravely at the woman before her and invited her in.

"Hi Joanne, thanks for coming over. I guess I'm in a state of shock right now." Kelly chucked at her predicament.

"Don't worry, Kelly I understand. I was once a new fireman's bride, and I felt just as lost and lonely as you do. How can I help?"

For the next hour, Kelly and Joanne talked; Joanne sharing her experiences and fears of being a fireman's wife; offering suggestions and bits of wisdom from her twelve years of marriage. Kelly shared the news of her scholarship and her uncertainty of full-time college right now. She told of her desire to earn a little extra money to help buy some new furniture, but wondered how she would get a decent job, only being 18 years old and not yet a college student.

Together they discussed options. Kelly and Joanne made several phone calls and discovered that Kelly's scholarship would apply toward nursing generals taken at the local community college. Instead of being a full time student, Kelly could take only one or two classes a term, and still have time for a job. Joanne made a quick phone call to the hospital while Kelly went to the other room for a minute.

"Dixie, Joanne DeSoto. Could you help me find a part-time job for Kelly at the hospital? She can't drive because of her epilepsy, so perhaps something that would work with John's schedule." You can? Thanks. Let me know." Quickly, Joanne replaced the phone before Kelly returned.

Over a tasty lunch, the two put together a "work day" schedule and a "day off" schedule, though the second one was blank, as those would be the days John was home.

Before Kelly knew it, it was 3:00 in the afternoon and Joanne had to pick up Jennifer. "Kelly, why don't you spend the night with us tonight? We would love to have you, and it would be a nice change for the kids."

Kelly made a quick call to the station to let John know. He readily agreed to the plan and offered to pick her up there in the morning. She threw a few items into an overnight back, carefully locked the apartment door and followed Joanne to the car. Perhaps being alone wouldn't be so bad after all.

John hung up the phone and sighed. He was grateful for his friends. Joanne and Roy had taken him in so many times when he's been ill or injured, and now they are doing the same for Kelly. How he hoped Kelly will be happy in this marriage. He was sure she would be, for they were led together by the Great Spirit, but still he was still uncertain enough….

Having Joanne take Kelly home with her for the night seemed perfect.

John jumped when the tones went off again. This was their sixth run of the day. He ran out into the bay and jumped into the squad as Roy started the engine. Marco, who had answered the call handed Roy the call slip through the window and stepped away as the Squad carefully pulled out of the bay.

John looked at the address, quickly conferred with his map and began directing Roy to a fast food joint about two miles down the road.

Arriving at the restaurant, John and Roy were met with a concerned shift manager followed the two around as they pulled equipment from the side of the squad. One of his student workers had burned her hand and arms when hot grease spilled from the pot she was trying to move. The paramedics followed after the manager as he rushed into the back of the kitchen. Three workers were crowded around the girl while others were ushering customers away from the counters, and temporarily shutting down the store. The girl was on the floor and in obvious pain. Suddenly John realized that the victim was Julie, Kelly's best childhood friend. He shoved the thought aside as he starting getting the vitals.

Roy trotted out to the squad to get a burn pack while John talked to Julie.

"Julie, it's John – Johnny Gage. Do you remember me?" he asked gently while he opened up the biophone.

"Johnny? The paramedic?" Julie mumbled.

"Yes, that's me," Johnny replied.

"Rampart, this is Squad 51." John relayed the vital information to the hospital while Roy returned with the burn pack and began applying the sterile solution to Julie's mostly 2nd and some 3rd degree burns. When Dr. Morton ordered an Ringer's IV, John was quick to grab the IV and get it started.

The ambulance arrived and carefully Roy and John got Julie transferred onto the gurney. John hopped into the back of the ambulance for the five-minute ride to the hospital.

John followed the gurney into the treatment room, gave the updated information to Dr. Morton and went out to the base station to wait for Roy, and to get his supplies refilled.  
"Dixie, that patient we just brought in; that was Julie, Kelly's best friend from their childhood days. I'm not sure if they kept in touch once Kelly moved to Mount Shasta; I kind of think they didn't." John reported to the head ER nurse as she quickly filled his supply box.

"Hi Johnny," some nurse murmured as she sauntered past. John looked up in the general direction of the voice and absent-mindedly waved his hand. "Hi," he replied to no one in particular.

The nurse gave an exaggerated sigh intended for John's ears. He never heard it because Roy walked in, calling him out to another run.

"Bye, Dix" John said as he grabbed the supply box and trotted out the door.

At Joanne's house, Joanne showed Kelly the spare room where John had spent many

nights. Kelly dropped her things on the bed, and glanced around the room. She could see an extra pair of sweats, a tee-shirt and an extra pair of shoes that she was sure was John's. She brushed her hand over the pillowcase and through she smelled his smell drifting from the pillow. Turning she left, closing the door behind her.

Joanne pulled out a school catalogue from the local community college. Together they looked through it, wondering what classes Kelly could take. They marked a couple possibilities, and then made a plan for getting Kelly enrolled.

After a simple supper that evening with Joanne and her kids, Kelly curled up on the couch with a good storybook. She was reading aloud to the kids, giving Joanne some time to catch up on her mending and ironing. She glanced at the clock and saw it was 8:00, bedtime for little ones. She came into the room and ushered the kids away from Kelly. Each one gave her a hug, which she gave in return. Then she stood, stretched and, saying goodnight to Joanne, she headed toward the spare room.

"Mommy!" young Jennifer called, "Kelly's going into Uncle John's room, she can't do that; it's not her room!" Kelly smiled, and continued to the room, only to hear Jennifer wail all the louder, "Mommy, stop her!"

Joanne, embarrassed, tried to quiet her daughter. Kelly turned around and came back.

"Jennifer, I guess your mom didn't tell me it is Uncle John's room, did she?" Since I'm going to spend the night here, would you like to tell me where I should sleep? I could sleep in Uncle John's room and change the sheets in the morning, I could sleep on the couch, or I could sleep on the floor in your room if you have a sleeping bag I can use."

Jennifer thought for a second. Finally, she said, "We have a room for Uncle John for when he gets hurt. He and Daddy are working tonight. Do you think he'll get hurt and have to come here?"

Kelly laughed and gave Jennifer another hug. "We hope not, Jennie. I think he and your daddy will work as hard as they can to stay safe. But, I tell you what. If Uncle John does get hurt, I'll move to the couch, OK?"

Jennifer scrunched up her face as she thought. "OK," she said. You can sleep in Uncle John's room, but keep it clean, OK ?

Kelly laughed, "Sure, sweetheart, I'll keep it clean."  
Joanne, with relief written all over her face, led her children to their rooms while Kelly retired to hers. Quickly changing into her pajamas, Kelly slipped beneath the covers and held the extra pillow close. She wanted to be able to have John's smell close to her all night.

One more time she reached for her journal.

_Dear Journal,_

_What began as a bewildering morning has turned out OK. Joanne came to my rescue. I felt so lost and small this morning, but now I feel that I will be able to handle this. Just like the guys at the station are a band of brothers, so we wives must band together as sisters. I only hope that they will make room for me in their circle. At least Joanne has, and I'm sure Mrs. Stanley will, too. I haven't met Marco's mom yet, but he's assured me that she loves anyone associated with her "hero" son. I can hardly wait to meet her._

_ I'm at the DeSoto's this evening. I think the kids don't quite realize what they saw and experienced last week at our wedding ceremony. The guest room has been daubed "Uncle Johnny's room" and they are very protective of just anyone sleeping in it. Poor Joanne was mortified when Jennifer flat out told me I couldn't go into "Uncle Johnny's" room. I managed to talk her into agreeing that it would be OK, as long as I move if Johnny gets hurt and if I keep it clean._

_ Just a few more hours and Johnny will be home. _

_ Kelly_

_Mac,_

_ It's been a busy day; probably just as well. Being busy kept my mind on my work rather than on how Kelly was doing. She called middle of the day and told me she was spending the night with Joanne. I think that is a very good idea. _

_ I am wondering how I'm going to tell Kelly about Julie, her childhood best friend. Straightforward and honest I suppose is the only way. Fortunately, while Julie's burns are serious, they are not life threatening. _

_ I'll be so glad for these last few hours to pass. I really want to go home and be with my White Rose Heart. Please, let there be no alarms tonight!_

_~John_

To: Journal

RE: Kelly

Date:

Kelly and John are home from their honeymoon, and it didn't take long for Kelly to call me. She sounded so lost and alone…I went over to John's – their apartment just as soon as I dropped Jennifer off at her play date.

This morning, I saw Kelly only as an 18 kid, and really, I thought she was too young to get married. I thought that since I have no say in the matter, all I could do was support her for Johnny's sake. It didn't take her long to get over that lost look in her eye she greeted me with; in fact, it appeared she had already set some plans and goals before she even called me. That girl has a full-ride scholarship to UCLA! She graduated from school with a 3.98 GPA! The more I got to know her, the more realize that she may only be 18 years old, but she has more maturity than many middle-age women!

I called Dixie this afternoon to see if she could find any part-time jobs for Kelly. She called me back this afternoon and told me that they are going to be shifting the work load at the reception desk away from nurses and creating several part-time, non-nursing positions for the desk. Dixie told me it will save the hospital a couple thousand dollars in benefit costs each year, but feels that it will be a perfect job for Kelly. She'll be in the hospital where they can monitor her health, she can work when John works and the two can see each other occasionally.

I'll have to talk to Roy, but I'm thinking I would like Kelly to spend the night here when he and John are working and she's off work. She can be a nanny to the kids which will allow me to work part time and to do things around the house that are hard to do with the kids hanging off my arm.

It will take a while to work out the details but I think it could work…

J. DeSoto

18-25


	11. To Keep the Honor

**To Keep the Honor**

_Dear Journal,_

_I am so glad Joanne is such a friend. I think we may have a workable solution; I can spend the night with her and the kids when Johnny and Roy are on duty. I can take care of the kids while she gets other housework done. That way I won't be alone, especially if I have a seizure or asthma attack._

_I will be so glad when Johnny makes it home safely._

_Kelly_

In the morning, Kelly carefully made the bed and cleaned the room. Then she went out to help JoAnne with breakfast and get Chris was ready for school. As soon as he was out the door to catch the bus, JoAnne pushed a pile of papers toward Kelly. "Kelly, these are applications for you to fill out for college. Look them over. Perhaps later this afternoon, after John's caught up on his sleep he can take you over so you can begin the enrollment process. You might miss this term, seeing it is September already, but it's good to get your name in and begin the process so you will be ready."

"Thanks, JoAnne. I really appreciate everything you've helped me with. Do you mind if I call on you until I get settled?"  
"You know, Kelly, having you here last night to read to the kids and entertain them was a great help to me. Why don't we plan to have you over for a night or two a week when John and Roy are working until everything is settled? I was able to get more done last night because of your help. I should be the one thanking you."

Kelly smiled just as a car pulled up the drive. Soon a door slammed, and Roy and John came into the kitchen. JoAnne's practiced eye told her the men had a quiet night and had rested well. She set out a plate of French toast and some coffee.

John smiled at the sight of his pretty bride and he came over to give her a gentle hug before sitting down to the meal. Soon afterward, Kelly and John, holding hands, and John carrying Kelly's overnight bag, headed down the driveway to the Rover John had parked on the street.

Kelly told John about shared tidbits of the last twenty-four hours. Kelly also shared her idea of taking a few community college classes for a couple terms to get her generals out of the way before tackling UCLA. "And I'm going to look for a part-time job, too, John. Something hopefully in the medical profession so I can get apply what I'll be learning in school. It's hard for me to be at home alone worrying about you."

John agreed, but cautioned her that she had to be very diligent about her health. She could not overdo her stress.

They reached home, and, unlocking the door, they walked in. After spending a few minutes just enjoying each other, they set to work. They had some laundry to do, a few more boxes to unpack and some college calling to do. In the midst of their activity, the phone rang.

John answered it.

"John, this is Dixie. Is Kelly there?"

"Sure, Dix, just a minute, let me get her." John held the phone out to Kelly who took it and held it up to her ear.

"This is Kelly," Kelly replied.

"Kelly, are you looking for work? Dixie asked.

"I was thinking of it," Kelly replied wondering what Dixie was getting at.

"I was hoping you would say that. Dr. Brackett just returned from a budget meeting and told me that the administrators want to take nurses off the reception desk and turn the job over to non-RN's and/or retired RN's. In addition, they are offering the position to part-timers only to cut down on our benefits cost. I was wondering if you would be interested. You are the first one I've asked because then we can have you work when John's working. I have a retired nurse I think will be able to work when you aren't working. What do you think?"

"Dixie, can I talk to John about it and call you back? Say about 20 minutes?" Kelly asked, cautiously excited.

"Sure Kelly, you can do that. Talk it over with John and call me back soon, OK?"

"Sure Dixie, and thanks!" Kelly hung up the phone and turned to John with excited eyes.

"I'm not sure how Dixie knew I was looking for a job, or how she found one so quickly, but she's offered me a part time job at the hospital! Oh, John, I can work when you work, be home when you're home, and I get to see you sometimes…Please John, do you think it's OK for me to take this job?"

John laughed and put his arm around his young wife's waist and kissed her on the forehead. "Kelly, I think it's OK for you to take the job. Being able to see you during the day will ease my mind, too; knowing you are OK. And, if you do get into trouble, Dixie will be right there to take care of you." Call her back and tell her yes."

Kelly hurriedly dialed the phone and waited for Dixie to answer.

"Rampart Emergency, Miss McCall," Dixie answered.

"Dixie, this is Kelly. Thank you so much for the job offer, John says that it would ease his mind, too if I took the job." Kelly was afraid she rushed her words with excitement.

"Kelly, I was hoping you would say that. Can you come down today, around 1:30 so you talk to Dr. Brackett and me? John probably should come, too so we could set a work schedule. Can he bring his shift schedule with him?" Dixie was glad to have Kelly working for her.

"Sure Dixie, I think we can do that. 1:30? We'll be there."

"Fine. We'll see you then, Bye."

"Bye Dix, and thanks!" Kelly hung up the phone and turn to John with sparkles in her eyes.

At 1:20, John and Kelly walked into the hospital Emergency Room looking for Dixie. They found her at the base station and waited while she finished a phone call. As the various nurses went back and forth in their duties, one young nurse sized up the new bride. Anne had noticed that John was gone for a couple weeks and then suddenly was back at work. Now today here he is, at the hospital, off duty with a wedding band on his finger. The girl was wearing a matching one. Anne scowled. She had noticed that dark, handsome paramedic and had tried to get him to notice her. Now, it appears he was married to that girl?

Dixie got off the phone and noticed the scowling nurse staring at the couple. "Do you have a question Miss Brownington?" Dixie asked sharply. It was a tone that implied, "This is none of your business," "Don't do something stupid," and "Get back to work."

"Uh, no, Miss McCall." Miss Brownington got to work, but she knew she hated that girl who had taken her man away from her. She'd get even; she would, somehow.

"Now Kelly, John, let's go into Dr. Brackett's office. I think he's there waiting for us." Dixie led the way. A brief knock and she walked in; Kelly and John following behind her.

"Ahh, John, Kelly; good to see you again. Have a seat." Dr. Brackett motioned with his hand to the two chairs across from his desk.

"We have made some personnel changes to our front desk, trying to maximize our nurses' abilities. That leaves the front desk open for those who have good organizational skills, can work quickly and under pressure, can handle several tasks at once without becoming overwhelmed, and can be pleasant and polite even under the stressful situations." Dr. Brackett began. "Dixie, here seems to think you would be good for the job, but I'm not sure about the stressful part with your epilepsy…" the doctor let his sentence hang for a bit while he shuffled some papers.

Kelly shifted in her seat a little while the silence hung heavy in the room. Finally, Dr. Brackett cleared his throat and looked at Kelly. Clear, light brown eyes gazed back steadily at him.

"What do you think, Kelly? Do you think you can take care of patients, relatives, answer the phone, and deal with demands of uptight parents?" Dr. Brackett asked.

"I would sure like to give it a try. Would you allow me two weeks to learn the job and see if I can handle it to your satisfaction? If I can't handle it, then I will let you know." Kelly hoped the doctor would accept her offer.

"That sounds fair enough," Dr. Brackett replied. "Now, John, do you have your schedule?" John handed the form to him.

"Ok, Kelly, It looks like we can easily get twenty hours in for you based on John's schedule. Could he drop you off on his way to work and then, let's see, how will you get home?"

"Perhaps JoAnne could pick me up. She liked the idea of me staying with her on the nights Roy and John are working; I can entertain the kids while she gets some other things done around the house. Also, I won't be alone at night." Kelly offered.

Dr. Brackett nodded, and then the small group discussed pay and benefits. Finally, he stood up and shook Kelly's hand.

"We'll see you tomorrow, Kelly, and Dixie will show you what to do." Now, if you will excuse me, I need to meet Millie, the retired nurse who is one of our other part-timers." Bracket left the office.

Kelly, John and Dixie left together and headed back to the base station. There, Anne Brownington stood gathering supplies for one of the treatment rooms. She glared at Kelly and then left in a huff. This time Kelly caught the glare and wondered what it all meant. John reached for her hand and squeezed it; he saw it, too. Only Dixie seemed to have missed it.

Just as they were leaving, Dixie pressed a couple envelopes into Kelly's hand. "Letters of recommendation for college," she whispered, "from one of your high-school teachers, from JoAnne and from Dr. Brackett. I hope they'll help." Kelly smiled and gave Dixie a friendly hug.

After leaving the hospital, John and Kelly headed for the local community college. Kelly had her scholarship award with her as well as her high school diploma and application form. The drive was a very short one, just three blocks. John quickly found a parking spot and parked the car. Opening Kelly's door, he assisted her out. After carefully locking the car, the two headed toward the registrar's office.

A male student with wavy blond hair was working at the reception desk when Kelly and John walked up. The student noticed Kelly first and was quick to offer to assist her. Then he saw John standing behind her. John's striking features made it easy to tell he was Native American, and the boy, not knowing that John was with Kelly, gave a little snort and went back to helping the girl. He seemed to overly interested in Kelly and trying to assist her in every little detail while John stood by.

Finally, another student worker approached the desk and asked John if he needed any help. The blue-eyed female student was attracted to John's good looks, but visibly winced when the boy poked her.

"No; thank-you though. I am with her." John replied clearly putting his hand on Kelly's shoulder.

The boy heard the reply and saw John move protectively closer to Kelly. He looked at John, back to Kelly and at John again. His whole demeanor and attitude changed when he realized that he didn't have a chance with the pretty girl in front of him.

"I think you have all the information you need. The Registrar is down the hall, but I doubt you'll get accepted." He said a bit angrily turned away.

As they walked down the hall, Kelly looked up at John. "It's been this way all your life, hasn't it?" She asked as she took hold of his hand and squeezed it. John squeezed back and tried to release his hand from hers, but Kelly wouldn't let go.

"No, dear. I am NOT ashamed to be with you. Your strength makes me strong, too." Kelly stated firmly.

Mr. Jones, the registrar, was at his desk and able to see Kelly regarding registering for school. He invited them into his office and showed them a place to sit. Settling in behind his desk, he studied the two of them and then turned to Kelly, smiling broadly. "How can I help you today?" he asked her.

"Sir, I would like to register for college. I've completed high school and would eventually like to go to UCLA. Right now, I just moved back to LA from Mount Shasta to go to school and to work. I have a part-time job at Rampart Hospital." Kelly explained briefly.

"I see. Well, you have some papers there, may I see them…uh…" Mr. Jones fished for a name.

"Kelly Gage; Mrs. Kelly Gage."

Mr. Jones was startled. "Mrs. Gage?" Mr. Jones asked. "How old are you?"

"I will be nineteen next month, sir." Kelly replied honestly.

"Aren't you a little young to be married?" the registrar asked pointedly. "You didn't HAVE to get married, did you?" he implied that Kelly had not been honorable.

"Sir! I believe your questions are a bit personal," Kelly protested. "I do not know what that has to do with enrolling in your school."

"Well, **Mrs. Gage**, we do have to protect the reputation of our school. We can't have any ladies of questionable reputation wandering our campus." Mr. Jones sat back in his chair and crossed his arms across his ample belly.

John felt his heckles burn a little bit, but kept his peace. He wanted to see how Kelly would handle it.

His wife glanced over at him, drew strength from his eyes and took a cleansing breath.

"Mr. Jones, What you ask could be a breach of privacy and thereby an action worthy of a lawsuit." Kelly said calmly, but with an arrow piercing every word.  
At this, Mr. Jones sat up a bit in his chair. He was surprised that he was not easily intimidating this girl. He knew she was right. The college had a policy of non-discrimination, and yet he was trying to intimidate her right out of the office because she was an eighteen-year-old married woman; and, he guess this Indian beside her was her husband. He glanced at John who kept his face void of all emotion; but Jones saw fire in John's eyes, though John kept the fire restrained. He quickly decided to try to change tactics.

"Ah, Mrs. Gage, there's no need to be so dramatic. I only want what's best for you." He reached out as if to stop her words.

"Mr. Jones, you don't even know me, so how you could know what is in my best interest?" Kelly returned. Before she gave him time to speak, she went on.

"Now, so that you can get to know me better, let me present my papers. Here is my diploma. Please note that it says Summa Cum Laude on it. Yes, I graduated from a distance education school. 2,000 other students from across the United States graduated from this school the same day, and my GPA was ranked against theirs.

"Here is a copy of my transcript; see, I have taken several AP courses in Biological Science, Chemistry, and Anatomy and Physiology.

"I also have here a full scholarship from the California Association of Schools, Colleges and Universities. This Community College is part of that system as is UCLA. CASCU has assured me that this scholarship is good for any CASCU school and will remain effective until I graduate with my degree, even if I transfer from one CASCU school to another. This scholarship is good for tuition, books and supplies. And, Mr. Jones, please be assured I have several copies of this scholarship letter at home, so there will not be any need for 'misplaced files', will there?" Kelly looked severally at Mr. Jones. He was startled in that it seemed Kelly was reading his mind. He had hoped that he could delay her admission by "losing" her file.

Kelly quickly went on, "And, in case you are still worried about my reputation, I have here three letters of recommendation; one from my boss, one from a high school teacher and one from a close friend. As you can see, they are sealed, so I have no idea what is in them. But I have been told these were made in duplicate, so copies of these very letters are available if one should happen to get 'lost'." Kelly looked hard at the registrar as he uncomfortably shifted in his seat.

"Now, as to my being married, I have here a copy of our marriage certificate duly signed and notarized. Finally, here is a notarized copy of my parents' statement of permission of marriage. They were not required to do this by law as I am eighteen, but they did so because they knew there are people in the world like you, Mr. Jones, who discriminate when people like my husband and I don't fit in with your ideal student mold." Kelly finished her speech and sat back. She glanced at John. He remained impassive, but his heart swelled with pride. Kelly's soul felt her husband's strength, as well as his caution to be reserved. She gave him a smile.

Mr. Jones was quiet for a moment while he pondered his next move. Finally, without addressing Kelly, he turned to John. "You are Mr. Gage, I assume," he cordially asked. "And tell me, do you work?"

Before John could reply, Kelly stepped in. "Mr. Jones, **I **am the one submitting an application. You do not need to interview my husband. As I have a full scholarship, you do not need to worry about finances. Remember, Mr. Jones, you are very close to a discrimination lawsuit. There is nothing here that would give you reason to keep me out of school. My high school grades are top, my finances are taken care of; I've submitted the proper papers and application."

Mr. Jones was angry, who was this girl marching into his office and threatening lawsuits when he barely said two words. But, he also knew she was right. She called him out of his comfort zone. After eight years of intimidation keeping out the kids he felt were not worthy of an education, here's a girl who is not only able to stand her ground, but she had the uncanny ability to read his mind. He shifted in his seat again and finally admitted defeat.

"Mrs. Gage, first of all, I am afraid you got the wrong impression of me. I really do care about your future; that is why I am in the field of education. I don't want to see young people struggle and fail so early in life. However, I can see that you are independent and well educated. I believe we can have your application processed in time for the start of classes in two weeks. Is that OK with you? We still have some general classes open in the afternoons. Are you planning a full load or just a couple to get started?" Mr. Jones hoped he could somehow get the upper hand, but was sure this girl was going to be very tough to beat. He decided he would just have to keep an eye on her.

Forty minutes later, Kelly and John stood to leave the Registrar's office. Kelly had in her hand a tentative class schedule for two classes and list of books she would need.

As they turned to the door, Mr. Jones had one more thing to say. He held out his hand to John and said, "Mr. Gage, I hope you'll decide to go to college one day."

Kelly whirled around, glanced at the portly Mr. Jones, and replied harshly, "Mr. Jones, when you have another heart attack, you better pray that John and his partner are the paramedics to treat you. They are the first paramedics in LA County and are the paramedic field trainers for the entire LA County fire department. My husband has had more college in a field that is not even offered here!" With that, Kelly grabbed her husband's hand and marched out of the room.

Mr. Jones was again amazed. That girl had said, "When you have another heart attack?" How did she know he had already had one?

He sighed, sat down in his chair and pulled the recommendation letters toward him. Opening the first one, he looked it over and spotted who signed it. He sat back, resigned; none other than Dr. K. Brackett, Director of Emergency Services at Rampart Hospital. The man who saved Harold Jones' life was going to have a real problem if Kelly did not receive anything but the best treatment in college. And Mr. Jones had to insult her very first thing. Would she talk to Dr. Brackett about her experience with him? He decided not to take a chance and picked up the phone. He would have to talk to Brackett himself. It was time for another medical appointment, anyway….

Dr. Brackett took picked up the ringing phone. "Dr. Brackett," he answered in a professional, slightly bored voice.

"Dr. Brackett, Harold Jones. I was wondering if I could make an appointment with you. I would like for you to help me set up an exercise program so I can lose some weight."

Dr. Brackett was at first surprised that his long-time, stubborn patient would call asking for advice on an exercise program. "Well, Harold, I'm glad to hear you have come to your senses. Would you like to come in tomorrow afternoon, say around 2:00? Hopefully I'll be free to get you started." Dr. Brackett briefly paused, and then asked, "So, Harold, what made you so interested in an exercise program all of a sudden? I've been trying to get you on one for the past eighteen months."

"Well…." Mr. Jones began and then paused.

Dr. Brackett chuckled, thinking he understood. "Let me guess, you've met our Kelly Gage, haven't you?"

"Yes, I did." Mr. Jones replied. "Where on earth did she come from? She walked in liked she owned the place, and when I tried to ask her questions, she accused me of discrimination!"

Dr. Bracket, a bit confused and concerned that his new receptionist could be so rude leaned forward in his chair. "Was she rude, Harold?" he asked.

"No, she wasn't rude, just very straight forward. She told it like it was." Harold paused for a second and then in a softer, ashamed voice, he added. "She was right, you know. She saw right through me several times."

Dr. Brackett couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, she was that ability, all right. Let me ask, was John there with her?"

"Yes, he was. Didn't say a word, just sat there. He's going to have his hands full managing that girl." Dr. Brackett could hear Harold Jones shaking his head. "You submitted a reference for this Kelly Gage, is there anything else you would like to tell me about her?" Harold wasn't sure he was ready to hear any more about the girl that scared him to his very core.  
"The only thing I'll say is if you take care of her, she will bring your school honor and good standing with her work ethic and grades. If you try to trip her up, she will go after you to your last penny. She knows right from wrong, and has the strongest sense of ethics you have ever seen. She will not stand for any amount of unethical treatment to herself, her family or to those around her." Dr. Brackett paused wondering if he should tread where he was going to go in this conversation.

"So, Harold, tell me, what was Kelly so right about?"

Twenty minutes later Dr. Brackett hung up the phone. He shook his head as Harold shared of his long held and admitted discriminatory views toward blacks, Indians, and 'loose' girls. With tears choking his voice he shared how he had been so angry at Kelly, first for threatening law suits, and then for seeing right through him.

_Dear Journal,_

_I am so indignant right now! I got a first-hand taste of what John has had to endure all these years. We went to the community college so I could register for classes today. Everyone from the student worker at the front desk to Mr. Jones himself showed nothing but disdain for John. Mr. Jones, when he found out I was married, tried to accuse me of being a "loose" woman. I was so mad, but John's spirit reminded me to be calm. I managed to keep the upper hand, though, but reminding Mr. Jones that I could sue for discriminatory practices. He squirmed in his seat then! I finally registered, after strongly implied that any "loss" materials could be grounds for lawsuits._

_Mr. Jones had the audacity to ask John if he would ever go to college. Boy! I turned on him. I could see that he had had one heart attack already and told him he'd better pray that John and his partner would be the ones to respond when he had another attack. The look on his face was surprise and shock. It was so worth it!_

_But now I wonder if I didn't come on too strong. I haven't even started class yet, and now I may be a marked person; that girl who threatens lawsuits. I probably should call and apologize to Mr. Jones. I'll talk to John about it, first._

_Dixie got me a job! I start tomorrow._

_Kelly_

_Mac,_

_I was so proud of Kelly today. We went to the community college to get her registered for a class or two. She had her first experience with all the prejudice I have to deal with when I'm not at work. I think she was surprised at first at how quickly she encountered it. I tried to separate myself from her, in case she was embarrassed at being seen with an Indian, but I knew better. She grabbed hold of my hand as we walked down the hall and wouldn't let go. I knew Kelly was independent, but I didn't realize she could be a little fireball! When we got into see Mr. Jones, she didn't waste any time letting him know she was not going to stand for any nonsense. First he tried to accuse her of being a loose woman just because she's married at 18. Then, when she suspected he was going to try to delay her admission, she quashed that right away. Finally, when he assumed I had never been to college, she jumped all over him and told him that the _NEXT_ time he had a heart attacked, he'd better pray that Roy and I were there. The look on his face was priceless. He was shocked!_

_She looked over at me a couple times; she not only received strength, but she also showed restraint. I could see she was really fuming, but she kept her cool, while keeping the upper hand._

_I just hope that she didn't put herself under a lot of stress by doing what she did. I think sometimes when she gets passionate about something she'll over think it later and really stress out. That is not good for her. I'll have to keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't stress out over this._

_John_

During the night, John suddenly awoke to a violently shaking bed. He sat up, felt for Kelly, and realized she was having a seizure. It was a small seizure, only about 8 seconds, but John hardly slept the rest of the night, checking Kelly constantly, making sure she didn't suffer any complications.

Early in the morning, when she awoke, John noticed she was a bit groggy, and had a hard time orienting herself to the day, the time, and to where she was. But within about ten minutes, she seemed fine.

"Kelly," John quietly called.

"Hmm," she replied, as she stretched.

"Do you realize you had a seizure in the night?" John was gentle, but needed Kelly to pay attention.

"No. But that probably explains why I feel a little 'off.'" Kelly replied.

"Are you going to be OK today, with your first day at work?" John was concerned, yet relieved that she was working at the hospital.

"Yeah, I think I'll be OK," Kelly replied with a yawn as she flung the covers back.

"Kelly, please don't stress out over Mr. Jones. What is done is done; what is said is said. No need to go back and apologize for it. You did nothing wrong. OK? If you stress over yet, you'll only have more seizures." John reached down and gave his bride a kiss. "I will have a hard time doing my work if I have to worry about you. Just let it go, OK?"

"Ok, John. I'll try to not worry about; I have other things to worry about today, anyway." Kelly returned John's kiss and gave him a hug.

Later, John walked with Kelly into the ER department before heading off to station 51. John caught Dr. Early and quietly told him of Kelly's seizure in the middle of the night and then with a wink and wave Kelly, he headed off to work. Kelly, waving back, turned and walked down the hall to the base station, but noticed Dixie wasn't there. She went to the break room to looking to see if she could find Dixie. She opened the door and looked in. Dixie wasn't there, but Anne Brownington was. Anne took one look at Kelly, saw the ring on Kelly's finger and frowned. "What do YOU want, you Indian lover?" She spat out. "I don't think the likes of you belong here. She stood up as if to push her way out the door.

Kelly was shocked, and instantly remembered the words she had spoken to John's Aunt Rose, "I only hope that when that time comes, the spirit of Warrior Strong Heart will be upon me and I will remain honorable in my actions and words."

"Not again," Kelly despaired. "Yesterday it was Mr. Jones, and now this."

Kelly couldn't think of anything to say, she was so stunned at the unwarranted hatred. Without saying a word, she turned and headed back to the base station just as she met Dixie coming out of Dr. Brackett's office.

"Oh, Kelly, there you are," Dixie smiled. "Are you OK? You seem a little pale."

"I'm probably just a little nervous about starting a new job." Kelly replied with a shaky laugh. Just then, Anne brushed passed giving Kelly a little bump.

"Oh, excuse me," Kelly replied nicely, stepping out of the way."

However, Anne just humphed and continued on her way. Dixie made a mental note over the apparent attitude, adding it to yesterday's stare and glare she thought she saw.

"Well, shall we get started?" Dixie led the way over to the reception desk where another nurse was gathering up her things. With barely a nod and a rather strange look at Kelly, the nurse left.

Dixie spent as much time as she could with Kelly, and when she was called away, another nurse was nearby to oversee Kelly's work and to assist her in learning the job. Dixie saw that Kelly was not afraid to take on the task, and seemed to handle the phones, the questions and the pages with ease.

About 45 minutes later the outside doors burst open and two paramedics rushed through with a gurney. Kelly looked closely to see who it was. Realizing it was not 51's paramedics, she went back to filling admission forms.

About two hours later, Dixie sent a nurse to relieve Kelly so she could have a break. Joelle had seen Kelly at the desk and liked her lively, intense eyes and friendly attitude.

"Miss McCall sent me over to give you a break," Joelle said as she stepped behind the desk. "I'm Joelle."

"Hi, I'm Kelly" Kelly replied with a smile.

"By the way," Joelle was serious. "You will need to give Anne a wide berth. She is very angry right now. It seems she thinks you are with one of our paramedics from 51's; a guy she's been trying to date for a long time. We all get so tired of hearing her talk about Johnny Gage, but when she's mad, its trouble for many people. And she's been fuming about you all day to anyone who will listen." Kelly was startled to hear John's name, but she tried hard to not let it show.

"So, do you know John?" Joelle asked.

"Uh, yes. I do." Kelly replied. "I've known him since I was eleven years old. He's been great friends with my parents. I've been living in Northern California for the past couple years, but I mostly grew up here, and just moved back here to go to school. John and his friends are helping me get settled." Knowing now that someone may be angry at her, Kelly's childhood wariness kicked in. She wasn't going to share personal information that could get her hurt; not until she knew who Joelle REALLY was. By keep her marriage quiet, she hoped she was protecting John and herself.

"What has Anne been saying?" Kelly dared to ask.

"Oh, she says that you are paying him to go out with you because no one else will. She also made some quip about your looks, but she's really just jealous."

"What do you think, Joelle?" Kelly asked seriously. "Do you believe her?"

Joelle, looked at Kelly for a minute and then replied quietly, "No. I don't. I'm sorry to say this, Kelly, but I overheard Dr. Brackett and Dr. Early talking about you taking this job. They mentioned some of your medical history and their concerns about you. But, they spoke so highly of you and of Johnny that I know Anne is just jealous. However, not all the nurses know you, and they remember when John was trying to get a date with any nurse that caught his eye. Some of the nurses believe Anne. Just be careful, OK?"

"Joelle, thanks for telling me. Do you have courage to go to Miss McCall and tell her? That is the only way the harassment is going to stop." Kelly eyes pleaded with her possible friend.

"I'll think about it, Kelly. You better get going; I think Dixie wants you to meet her." Joelle smiled at Kelly.

"Sure, OK. I'll be back in a bit. Thanks Joelle." Kelly smiled and walked off, only to walk right into Anne.

"Watch where you are going, you Indian lover. What's wrong, you blind?" Anne hissed at Kelly as Kelly tried to get around her. "You are not going to get rid of me that easily." Anne made sure Kelly heard the last threat as she walked off.

Kelly made it to the cafeteria where Dixie was waiting.

"So, how is it going, Kelly," Dixie asked. "Is the work to tough?"  
"No Dixie, I really enjoy it." Kelly replied. She wondered if she should tell Dixie about Anne. She decided not to, yet. She wanted to see if Joelle would say something.

"Well, good. You let me know if it is too much for you, OK?" Dixie looked directly at Kelly. "Just so you know, there are some nurses who fall easily for good looking men, and they don't give up easily. I'm keeping my eye on one right now. If you start getting hassled, you just let me know, OK?"

Kelly nodded, thought for a minute and decided she would say something, but just as she opened her mouth, Dixie was paged to Treatment Room One.

Dixie quickly left. Kelly swallowed the last bit of her milk and then went back to the reception desk.

Joelle smiled as Kelly took over. They spent a few minutes together going over some admission protocols when Joelle was called away to assist with a boy in treatment four.

Kelly saw Anne go into treatment one, but then a distraught mother came up to the desk asking to speak to the doctor. Kelly reached out to take the mother's hands, spoke to her and got her settled down enough to get her name and the name of the boy. Keeping a tender hand on the woman's arm, Kelly dialed the base station and relayed the information. The mother, on the verge of tears, seem to hang on Kelly's simple touch until Doctor Early walked toward her. From the look on his face, she could see that her boy would eventually be OK. She gave Kelly a grateful smile and turned to follow Dr. Early into the treatment room.

Kelly was cleaning up around the desk about fifteen minutes later when the door to treatment one opened and two paramedics walked out. Quickly she saw they were 51's paramedics, John and Roy. They were sober as were Dr. Brackett and Dr. Morton who followed behind and walked to the base station. Dixie eventually emerged out of the room and hurried into treatment room four. Finally, Anne walked out. Roy, John, Dr. Brackett and Dr. Morton were busy discussing the victim; trying to console themselves that there was nothing they could do. They had hoped, when John and Roy brought him in, but with the brain trauma so bad, ultimately they knew he wasn't going to survive.

Finally, Dixie walked out of treatment four, went to the base station, and told John to go say hi to Kelly. Meanwhile she would get the supplies ready for Roy.

John turned and headed toward the reception desk. Kelly's heart ached for John; he never did take defeat very well; and losing a patient was defeat. Now he was despondent over losing this one. Before he got very far, Anne was right by his side.

"John I'm sorry about your patient. Perhaps we can go out tonight and find something to cheer about. I know a great little restaurant. It serves terrific food."

John kept going not really hearing Anne's words.

She tried one more time. "Or, we could just stay at my place and watch a movie. Oh John, I've been waiting so long to be together with you, would like to come over?"

John was nearly at the reception desk. Kelly could hear Anne's persistence. "Huh? Oh, No, Anne. I'm not interested." John said absent-mindedly. He walked up to the desk. "Hi Kelly," he said with some cheer in his voice. "Are you doing OK?"

Kelly smiled. "I'm doing well, John. Thanks for asking. JoAnne is going to pick me up at 3:00, and then we're going to do some shopping." She tried to sound casual, but John knew all that information all ready.

Anne was close by listening to their exchange.

"Good," I was hoping you would not be alone when you finish here. "I'll see you later, maybe," John replied with a smile as his partner walked up.

"Bye," Kelly gave a little wave as the two walked out the door and the phone rang. Kelly picked up the phone, "Rampart Emergency," she said as out of the corner of her eye, she saw Anne glare at her, whirl around and stomp off, right into Dixie.

"Anne, I think you need to come with me." Dixie ordered.

Anne angrily followed her boss into Dr. Brackett's office.

"What is going on? Dixie demanded.

"Going on, what do you mean?" Anne was trying to play the innocent role.

"Don't give me that!" Dixie retorted. "I've been watching you for a long while. You are a pest around 51's paramedics. In addition, yesterday, when John came in with Kelly, I saw the glares you gave them. I even asked you if you had a question. Today, you've been spreading vicious lies about John and Kelly, and you don't even know her! I heard you call her Indian lover, yet you bend over backwards to get John's attention. What gives?"

Anne was red in the face and defiant. "Miss McCall, I don't think it is really any of your business." she retorted.

Dixie was angry, "When one of my nurses is bullying a new employee it is very much my business. Now, either you talk or you may leave your job. Which is it?"

Anne, recognizing she was on the verge of losing her job, dropped her head. She was silent for a long time. Finally, she muttered, "I have wanted to date John Gage ever since I started here three years ago. He hasn't given me the time of day. The other nurses told me he was quick to date new nurses, but I don't think it's true. He hasn't taken a nurse out ever since I've been here. Others said they noticed that he wasn't interested anymore. Then I saw him walk in with that girl, Kelly, I just got so jealous. What right does he have to date her and not me? And then I saw both of them wearing rings…" Anne stopped and looked at Dixie with defiance building in her eyes. "There, I told. Can I go now?"

"No you may not." Dixie replied. I will tell you why John has no interest in you; you have been very dishonorable in your conduct to him. You have no respect for the feelings of others. You are selfish and mean. If I let you go right now, you will go back and torture Kelly some more. John and Kelly have known each other since she was 11. He had to carry her dead mother out on stretcher; and then later he saved her life when she had a heart attack. Yes, you saw rings on their fingers. John is Lakota Indian. And, yes, Kelly is an Indian lover, in the most honorable sense of the word. John will never have eyes for you because Kelly is his wife. Now, I am releasing you from the rest of your shift. Go home. I am putting you on a two-week suspension. After that, I have to see a dramatic change in your behavior or will not have a job here again. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'm." Anne angrily spat out, and turned toward the door. Then she looked back at Dixie. "John really sees me as dishonorable?"

Dixie sighed. "Anne, we all saw your actions toward John as dishonorable. Now go home."

Anne opened the door and stalked out. She pulled her cap off her head and reached up to take her name plate off her uniform. Looking up, she saw Kelly at the desk. Walking up to her, Anne shoved her nursing cap at Kelly. "Here, **Mrs. Gage,** consider this your war prize. I will never know what John saw in you, but don't worry. You won't see me again. I won't work in the same place with a girl who is an _Indian lover_." Anne sneered the last two words. She turned and strode out.

Two days later Dixie received Anne's resignation in the mail.

Epilogue:

After taking several classes at the local community college, Kelly went on to UCLA to get her nursing degree. Joelle became her best friend at the hospital and truly appreciated the way Joelle treated her and John, individually and together. She was truly an honorable friend.

While Kelly and John occasionally encountered racist comments about his Indian heritage; they remained calm and reminded each other that it was the commenters who are ignorant.

So, for now Kelly and John go back into my dusty mental closet where they will live happy lives, and I can get on with mine.

There are two more stories building in my brain; someday I'll get them out. Maybe someday soon, maybe someday not so soon. It will be whenever Kelly barges out of my dusty mental closet and takes center stage.


End file.
